Some lessons I learned from last night’s run.
1. Do not eat a large meal at Chevy's immediately prior to a run
2. Do not start an evening run at 7:30 pm if you are: a) scared of the dark and b) a slow-ass runner
3. If you are hot, sweaty, and tired before you start your run. You condition will NOT improve during or after the run.
On a positive note
I had my WI at JC today and I am down 1.4!! That brings my total weight loss to 18 pounds! Woo Hoo!
Well, school has started. I don’t know if I have ever mentioned this, but I am a high school biology teacher. This summer was the first time I took some time off and, while I still had to take some classes, I was off more than I have ever been. I was really worried about having that much time away from work because I struggle with depression. I was worried I might get myself in trouble. On the contrary, I had a great summer. With the exception of losing Winston I had great time and have started this school year feeling more relaxed and happier than ever.
I want to thank you all for your great support in my training and weight loss. I really enjoy reading everyone’s blogs and hearing their successes. It inspires me to continue this journey.
Anyhoo… after my 16 mile run on Saturday I laid around like a big, fat tuna all day Sunday. On Monday I went to the gym! Yes, you heard me right. Stacey, hater of all things “gym” went to the gym. I wanted to start right away on my goal to remain active throughout the school year and I know I will not go running in the dark and the cold once winter gets rolling. Therefore, I am going to go the gym at 5:30am to run on the treadmill. I went Monday and Wednesday this week and ran 2 miles each day (that is all I had time for since I run so slow
I also started back to my Master’s classes at State. I have remained strong and am only taking classes and teaching classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. I almost caved into my old ways and added “just one class” on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but my run buddy and my hubby reminded my of my goal and I didn’t add the class. Yay me!
I have WI at JC tomorrow and my eating has been excellent except for a Chevy’s dinner tonight. 
Well, I have 5 days of blogs to get caught up on, so I better get reading! Have a great night!
Holy Cow! I ran my first-ever 16 miler today.
We ran on part of the Nike Marathon Course in a convoluted, poorly marked, loop-like thing. Unfortunately, when you run as slowly as I do you often end up running completely alone and on a poorly marked course this can be more than a little frustrating. Somehow I managed to decipher their hieroglyphic markings and didn’t go off course. My run buddy was not so lucky.
All in all the run was OK, not great, but ok. My knees and feet held up pretty well, but my bladder was an issue and my tummy troubles, while kept at bay, were lurking in the background. I ran the whole thing, but had to use the restroom twice. My overall time was 3 hours 35 minutes, which is a 13:23 pace. Considering the two bathroom breaks (Which entailed an extended off course trek to get to the d*mn bathrooms and two failed attempts where I reached locked bathrooms!) I am pleased with my pace.
Again, I finished feeling more apprehensive instead of less about the full marathon. I have figured out some possible sources of my tummy troubles, so I am going to do things a little different for my next long run.
Foodwise, I did very well today. After the run instead of taking the 1797 calories that my GPS says I burned and pigging out, I ate a sensible grilled chicken wrap with no dressing and fruit on the side instead of fries. Then my run buddy and I split a small piece of chocolate cake. The rest of the day was 100% JC except the 3 Gu's I ate on the run.
I want to start by expressing my eternal gratitude to you for your kindness and support through my loss of Winston.
We just got back from Carmel and it was a great get-away. I am really surprised that I actually went. I never do that. I always tell my hubby I am too busy and send him by himself (great wife, huh?) this time I said “yes” and we had a fantastic time. I ate relatively well. I made good choices, but restaurants’ portions are too big and I have no self-control. I try to push some of it off on my husband, but I still eat more than I should. We took my dog to Carmel Beach. They allow dogs off leash there and she LOVES it! She runs until she can barely move.
I did have one realization when we were out. For years I have eaten as much as my husband. Bite for bite, meal for meal. I am not sure why I thought I could routinely eat as much as a 200 lb man and not gain weight! Hmmm…
I had my WI today and I was down 0.4. I would have liked more since I was up 0.4 last week, but I'll take it.
I have to get off to bed because I have this crazy goal to run 16 miles tomorrow! Holy Cow! That is just absurd!
Today I had to put down my oldest cat Winston. He was 15 years old and had cancer. He was diagnosed with small cell lymphoma last August and we started chemotherapy then. I had always vowed that if he didn’t tolerate the chemo or felt sick then I would put him down.
Well, I got a really good extra year from the chemo, but today we lost the battle. Monday he didn’t eat anything except a few treats and licked some juice from his canned food. He walked slowly instead of his usual trot and his meow was weak. He has had a bad day here and there on the chemo, so I decided to give him until this morning to feel better, but inside I knew.
I have worked in veterinary medicine for almost 15 years now and have had countless clients of older and sick animals ask me “when will I know it is time?” and I always tell them, “You know [your pet] better than anyone. He/she will look at you and you will just know.” And they always tell me when that time comes that I was right and they just “knew”.
Unfortunately, knowing it is the best thing for them and that it is the right time doesn’t make it any easier. My good friend who is a veterinarian that I used to work with was there for me and Winston and I am eternally grateful. It was a very peaceful end, he purred until he was gone.
I know I am so lucky to have had been able to share my life with him, but my heart is just broken. I don’t have human children so my animals are my family. Some people don’t understand this, but I know many do.
Some of Winston’s Nicknames: he was rarely actually called ‘Winston’. Here is a partial list of his many nicknames.
Winstonian: Wiiiiin-STOOOOh-nian! This is how I would call him and he always came running in at his lopsided trot, meowing all the way. He was ALWAYS meowing!
Stoneman
The Stone Ranger
Dirt Cat: He was always filthy. He loved to lie in the dirt and would rarely groom, he just didn’t have time for that sort of thing. It was not uncommon for him to have leaves hanging from his hair. What can I say, he is from the 90’s grunge era.
The Urinator: Like the Terminator, only worse! He adopted us as an intact [read: not neutered] 2 year old cat. Evan after he was neutered, he never got over his bad boy past. If you put something down in his yard for 2 minutes he would mark it, hence The Urinator!
My older cat Ninjin brought Winston home 14 years ago. They were best friends. Ninjin died about a year and a half ago and Winston missed him terribly. This is how I picture them now. together again!
As some of you know I had a rough day yesterday (see last post). Afterwards a friend and I went to lunch since I hadn’t eaten all day. Normally I would have used this as an excuse to eat whatever, but I really didn’t want to. It felt like it would be disrespectful to his memory to do something negative. Likewise with going to track last night. I didn’t want to go, but I also didn’t want to use him as an excuse for doing something bad for me. I don’t know if that makes sense, but that is how I felt.
Track practice was hill repeats up the dam again and I did pretty well. I suppose I should have since I have been running the dam a lot lately! I am running 5 miles tomorrow morning and then my husband is taking me and Lucy (our dog) to Carmel for an overnight get-away. Then on Saturday I have my 16 mile run. We will be running part of the Nike Marathon course so, I am both excited and nervous.
Thank you to everyone for your support and kind words for Winston. He was one of a kind!
Looking up, I see the finish banner and clock. I pick up the pace, releasing the energy I've been saving for the final kick. I am gasping for air; my heart is pounding. I am going to have a PR. I am going to break 30 minutes for 5-K. What?
John Lennon may have been the Walrus, but I am the Penguin. I am the runner you've seen whose legs look as if they are tied together at the knees. I am the runner whose stride is the same as his shoe length. And I am not alone.
Why a penguin? Because metaphors usually used to describe runners—fleet-footed gazelles, cheetahs and winged-footed Mercury—don't have much to do with my running style. I tend to resemble a penguin waddling across the frozen tundra more than a thoroughbred in the homestretch.
If you've seen a penguin run or walk, you know what I mean. Penguins walk as if their feet are killing them. Penguins, waddling and scurrying, are the ultimate expression of will over form. Their feet move as fast as possible, but their bodies are barely propelled forward at all.
Those of you who are gifted runners have seen penguin runners at races. Well, you've seen us at the races where the course is out and back. You rarely see us finish, however. We're the ones who are finishing as you are getting in your cars to go home.
Actually, penguins are easy to spot. We keep moving farther and farther away from the starting line before the race begins. As the really fast and pretty fast runners complete their prerace warm-up and position themselves for the perfect starting spot, we penguins keep getting pushed back. In small races we can still see the staring line, but in bigger races we're so far back we almost need a water station before the starting line.
Once the gun goes off, as the cheetahs and gazelles speed away from us in search of PR's and age-group awards, the penguins settle into the middle of the back of the pack. It's then, when we finally have the course to ourselves, that the real race for the penguins begins—the race with our fears and insecurities. We are not racing anyone but ourselves. In many cases we are not running to anything, but away from everything.
My running shoes have become giant erasers on my feet. Every footstrike rubs away some memory of a previous indiscretion with food or smoke or drink. Every successful mile releases me from the grip of the demons of failure. Every starting line is another chance to prove that my past will not determine my future.
When I am running, in training or in a race, I imagine myself as strong and swift and elegant. When I am running, I imagine myself striding gracefully through life with courage and pride. When I am running, I forget my failures as a child or parent or friend or lover. Through running, I create myself as I have always wanted to be.
Waddle on, friends.
Included below is the irrational rantings of a woman whose plumbing is out of commission for the week. So you may want to take that into consideration before recommending committing her to the asylum.
Argh! The week started off ok, but then went straight to hell. On Saturday, I ran the Dammit Run and then on Monday I completed my long run of 14 miles. I took two rest days on Tues and Wed. On Thursday I was supposed to do a 6 mile Buddy run in the morning, but due to 1. A bladder infection (TMI, I know, sorry) 2. My period starting (also TMI, but I am on a rant here) and 3. Just an all out crappy attitude, I only ran 5 miles and it was a miracle that I even completed that.
Friday is supposed to be my rest day, but I helped my run buddy move and fell for the ol’ “I really don’t have very much stuff” routine. Lord, I am 38 years old, WHEN do you stop falling for that line! Her old apartment is in the third floor with NO elevator. Are you kidding me? It has electricity and actual running water; you would think it was modern enough to have an elevator! So after hauling all of her “not very much stuff” down two flights of stairs we got to move it the to the new place and haul it up one flight of stairs.
Essentially we walked up and down stairs for 8 hours yesterday carrying various pieces of heavy ass furniture and assorted boxes. Then today we were supposed to run 6 miles and we were so sore and tired from moving we ended up walking about a mile and a half and giving up and saying “forget it we are going to go have breakfast.”
I also got the pleasure of going to my JC weigh in on Friday and recording a 0.4 lb increase in my weight (I know it is water weight from the TOM, but still irritating after running 24 miles that week) SO now my already crappy mood has taken a serious downward turn. Now is where I confess my sins, which were many:
1. Lunch Friday: Restaurant: cheese tortellini with tomato cream sauce and enough soft breadsticks to feed a small nation.
2. Breakfast on Saturday: 2 scrambled eggs, hash browns, and English muffin and then…well, ….umm…I had a piece of berry pie * hangs head in shame* Yes, after a full breakfast including hash browns I ate an entire piece of pie in classic Stacey “Screw it! I already messed it up anyway” Style.
Now here I sit feeling awful! My bladder hurts, my body hurts and now I have 12,000 extra calories to work off before I weigh in next Friday.
Took today as a rest day. My legs are actually feeling ok, but our track workout was going to focus on hill practice. I was worried that it would be too much for my knees. I really can’t get injured at this point in my training. So I used today to do some self-reflection (translate: I loafed around and did nothing).
When I was running yesterday (during the first 7 miles, before it got ugly) I was looking around the trail I run on and I was struck by how relaxed and happy I felt. Sure my legs hurt and I was tired, but I was really happy. I even remarked to, my run buddy how I never felt like this during the school year. Now don’t get me wrong, I really love my job, but last year was pretty hard on me. I also know that I have a pattern of working out and getting somewhat healthy during the summer and completely abandoning a healthy lifestyle once school starts. Once September hits, all of the choices I make are centered on the school I teach at, my students, my masters’ classes, everything but my health (emotional and physical) and my family. I routinely forget my family members’ birthdays, and special occasions. I decline invitations to just about everything because I have too much work to do or have a school related commitment. I want to change this. This pledge, similar to all of my past pledges to lose weight, has been made before, but I feel that I need to make a public declaration of my goal to put my health and family first this year. This is not to say that I will abandon my job or responsibilities, rather that I will not take on new responsibilities or commitments that add to my workload unnecessarily. I am going to continue to post my weight loss and training progress and I will add my progress on occupational and emotional health.
My first success in this arena is that I have not volunteered to teach a second section of microbiology. The professor is looking to cover a recently opened section for fall. I decided last semester I would only teach one section of microbiology at State and that the courses I taught and the courses I take for my masters would all fall on the same nights so that I am not out every night after work at State.
Today my run buddy and I successfully completed our longest run ever, 14 miles! I made three major mistakes when planning this run:
1. Should not have done it 48 hours after the Dammit Run. My legs were not ready for a long run. There was an actual discussion between my knees and my quads about seceding from the rest of my body. I had to bribe them with promises of pie after the run.
2. We started at the high school ran out 7 miles and back 7 miles. Unfortunately, the 7 miles out was downhill, making the 7 miles back uphill. I am usually a relatively intelligent person. Apparently, the "what goes down, must come back up" escaped me.
3. We started a little later, 7:45 am, and ended up running the non-shaded portion of the trail at the hottest part of the morning. Let's just say that my internal dialogue for miles 9,10, and 11 is NOT G-rated.
Nonetheless, I was able to run the entire 14 miles, so I can check that run off my list in preparation for the marathon. However, I am still terrified of the marathon. Instead of feeling better about being able to complete the marathon after these long runs, I feel worse. I always feel like I couldn’t possibly run any more miles when I am done. I am assured that this in normal, but I don’t know.
Today I did the Dammit Run with my dad it went pretty darn well if I don’t say so myself. The Dammit Run is a local run held by a high school to raise money to repair the track. The entire run is only 5 miles, but it is a tough 5 miles. (my actual GPS mileage said 5.12 miles and I want credit for that 0.12 miles!)
Here is my race report:
As the race was about to start I secured my place, as usual, at the back of the pack. There is no sense in getting passed by more people than you absolutely have to. They start the race and the front of the pack starts running. It is a small race, so it only takes a couple of minutes before there is enough space for me and my dad to start jogging.
It quickly becomes evident that my dad is uncomfortable with the fact that we are DFL (dead f-ing last. It is a racing term. I did not make it up, but I do like to use it liberally!) I am used to this as the front of the pack (well, really, since it is everyone but us, it is more of a herd) always takes off and pulls away quickly. This is due in large part that most people start these things at a pace they cannot maintain. We did actually pass some people later on and did not finish the race DFL.
The run starts at the high school, runs out along a slight uphill trail for about 2 miles then up a steep, by mercifully short hill, you get about 1/8th of a mile to recover then it goes up the long, steep dam, then immediately after the dam, with NO time to recover you up a much longer, much steeper trail. I fought the good fight, but I could not run up the entire trail portion. I made it about ¾ of the way up, but since I did not know how long it was, and EVERYONE around us was walking up the trail, I walked. We only walked for about 50-60 yards or so when I could see the crest of the hill, so I started running again. I was pretty proud of myself. Instead of getting down on myself for walking I just didn’t think about it and started running again. I use the term “running” very loosely here. It was a very slow, shuffle-like gait, which was all I could muster at that angle of incline.
Then, finally we started to go down the hill. The downhill was rough on the old knees-eys, but was much preferred to going up hill. As we approached the finish, I saw that the time was 59:30-something and two high school girls ahead of us said, “We need to finish in under an hour” and picked up the pace, so I said “Come on Dad. Us to!” and we finished in 59:47! That is about 11:41 pace (based on the full 5.12 miles) for a tough race and I am pretty darn proud of that.
According to the GPS:
Mile 1: 12:04
Mile 2: 11:55
Mile 3: 15:09 two of the nasty hills
Mile 4: 10:21 most of this downhill
Mile 5: 9: 51 most of this downhill
My dad used to be really competitive in these things (ran under a 6:30 minute/mile for a 10K) and I think it was tough for him to have such a slow time, but we had fun and it was really nice to do something together, so we are going to do it again.
After that I, unfortunately have to list my food “bads” this weekend.
1. At dinner out with friends on Friday: Chicken piccata (TONS of lemon butter caper sauce) and 1/2 a piece of cheesecake. The owner of the restaurant said his mother made the BEST cheesecake in the world and I said “no” at first, but then I caved after trying a bite of someone else’s. I ordered one to split with my friend. (BTW, he was right his mother DOES make the best cheesecake in the world)I was down 2.4 lbs at weigh in today! I am very excited. This has been a great week. I finished my clear credential classes, my exercising went well, and I lost 2.4 lbs!! I am not sure why, (although I was pretty darn good with my eating this week), but I will take it!
Also, thank you to everyone that has commented on my blog and for all your encouraging comments! Anyone can run. I NEVER thought I would be a runner, but I started really slow! Then very slowly built up miles and now I really enjoy it. Well, not everyday and not every run, but most of the time I really enjoy it.
There are still MANY people that run 2 or 3 times faster than me on the TNT team, but I just keep in mind that I used to do absolutely nothing so running at any speed is better than 0 miles an hour on the couch!
Tomorrow I am doing the Dammit Run (I love that name!) This is the 5 miles run that goes up the face of a dam. My Dad and I are doing it together. Unfortunately, I JUST found out that the run includes another nasty hill that I didn’t know about. I remember one well meaning friend about 14 years ago attempted to drag my sorry, two pack a day smoking, fat arse up that same trail and I thought I would DIE! I turned around after about 50 yards. It will be kind of cool to conquer it tomorrow and with it conquer a little bit of my unhealthy past. Wish me luck!
Today at the buddy run I had a great run. Usually Thursday’s run is a little tough for me because I am a little fried from the week of training (rest day is Friday), but today I had a great run. I ran six miles. I started out slow like always to let myself warm up. My run buddy turned around at 1.5 miles (to do a 3 mile run) because her hip flexor was hurting from Tuesday’s track practice so I ran the last 4.5 miles by myself. I decided to push it a little to get in some speed work. I pushed the last two miles really hard hoping to get under 11 minute miles for both of them. Here are my splits (times for each mile of the run shown individually. I don’t know why they call them “splits"):
According to my GPS: (in min:sec)
Mile 1: 13:43
Mile 2: 13:20
Mile 3: 11:48
Mile 4: 11:51
Mile 5: 10:33 Whoa!
Mile 6: 9:46 Holy Toledo!
Yay!! I am pretty happy about that. Of course, I felt as though my heart may leap from my chest at any moment and if I had to run more than those 2 miles I would have keeled over dead, but still pretty darn good for me.
Thank you all for the kind comments. The marathon has been a “secret” goal/pipedream for as long as I can remember and the fact that not only have I said it out loud, but I am actually training to do it is pretty scary. The weight loss has been a struggle all my life and this is the first time I have really tried to make a lifestyle change instead of just to “look better” or “be smaller”. Your encouragement means more than you know!
Oh! I decided to include some before and after pictures. When I was looking for pictures I noticed that I always hide my lower body in pictures or I crop it out. I almost had no pictures that showed those "problem areas" but I found these two gems.
I went to the YMCA which is my gym, ick! I hate gyms. I only go to swim, and since I do not own a pool I am forced to join a gym in order to use theirs. I am hoping I will be brave enough to go this winter to run on the treadmill to get at least a little more value for my exorbitant monthly fee. We shall see.
Anyhoo, back to “Yay me!“ I went to the gym and I swam! I have been putting it off and putting it off, but today I did it. Not only did I swim, I swam a mile! That is 35 laps or 70 lengths of the pool. Alright, for you math whizzes. I did swim the extra 10 yards! To the non-math compulsives: a mile is 1760 yds and 35 laps only equals 1750 yds.
Tomorrow is the 6am Buddy Run and I am planning on 6 miles .
JC-wise I have been very good except a small Taco Bell indiscretion at Tuesday’s lunch. I had the grilled chicken taquitos (260 calories and ~10 grams of fat) and a diet coke. Those damned commercials finally got to me. I will probably pay at WI for all the sodium in that sucker, but damn, it was tasty!Training Update:
I was very tired yesterday and I did not swim. I am not sure if it was because I was tired or that I just didn't want to, either way I am pretty disappointed in myself. I didn't swim today either for equally lame reasons. My knee is a little sore from my hill repeats so I am not running until track tomorrow, but I should have gone swimming. I went on the Nike Women's Marathon website and I was disheartened by the hills in the course. I am so afraid that I will not make my goal of not walking. I feel like I am in a funk. Hopefully, my knee will feel better and track will go well tomorrow so I can shake this.
JC update:
I did 100% JC yesterday. Today, I had a small 's turkey sandwich for lunch (no cheese, no mayo) and the rest JC. There was no way to have lunch at my class today, so I had to go out.
Today my run buddy and I met for a five mile run with hill repeats. We ran 2 miles from a high school out on a trail to a dam at a reservoir. We then did hill repeats on the face of the dam. I ran 2/3rds of the way up the dam then back down four times, then on the fifth time up I went all the way to the top and ran across the top of the dam (not a very long dam, it is less than a ¼ of a mile long) and then back to the high school.
According to my GPS:
Total mileage: 5.62 mi
Total uphill: 990 ft
Total down hill: 994 ft (Huh?? I don’t get it. I did not dig a hole.)
Total uphill and total down hill? I am not totally sure what that means, but it sounds like and felt like a lot!
We went and got breakfast afterwards, which I feel a little mixed about because:
1. I just ran over 5 HARD miles and did hill repeats of my own free will. I did not even have a coach yelling at me.
But…
2. I had already had breakfast (JC French toast, my pre-run favorite)
But…
3. It was 9:30 am and I had eaten at 6 am AND run over 5 hard miles, so I needed something before lunch.
But…
4. I chose 2 scrambled eggs, fruit and an English muffin. There were certainly smaller meals I could have eaten.
So anyway, as you can see I have mixed feelings. Oh well! No use worrying about it now, what’s done is done.
Today was our regular 6 am Buddy Run. We ran 5 miles at a pretty slow pace. I seem to be pretty tired on the Thursday training. Friday is our rest day, so I think I am pretty burned-out by Thursday. Today at class someone brought Noah’s bagels and I had one with a small amount of cream cheese. I hope I don’t pay for that at WI tomorrow. I will have more to report tomorrow.
Until then...
