"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Friday, October 26, 2007

I can rest on my laurels no more

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 22:32
I can rest on my laurels no more

Thank you all for your kind words and congratulations. I really, really appreciate all of your support. This has been a great journey. It didn't work out the way I hoped, but thanks to your encouragement and well wishes, I completed my goal and learned a lot in the process.

However, I have basked in the glory of my marathon long enough. It’s time to get real about my eating and exercising.


I went to weigh in on Monday after the marathon to record a 0.8 lb GAIN. Nice. Run 26.2 miles and promptly gain almost a pound.

I went to JC to weigh in today and I was down 1.6 lbs. Hmmm, let’s see Wednesday I had 1.5 doughnuts, cheese ravioli, tons of bread with butter, and a slice of ice cream pie. Apparently, THAT is how you lose weight.


My knee is still very unhappy. I haven’t done any exercise since the marathon. I need to find something to do other than run until my knee is better. I HATE swimming, so that is out. The bike won’t be much better on my knee, so I am considering trying the elliptical thing at the gym. I am afraid to look like an idiot on it since I have no idea how to use it. I also am considering trying a strength training class like Pilates or something. But I am also afraid of looking like an idiot there.

I wonder how many calories “considering” exercise burns?


I have an appointment with Derek “the torturer of sore knees” masseuse on Tuesday and I am trying to get a referral from my doctor for a Sports Medicine Specialist.

Next Marathon

I have decided on Napa Valley March 2, 2008. That gives me 4 months to get my knee healed and train. I may have to re-evaluate if the knee takes more than 2-3 weeks to heal.

New/continuing Long term Goals:

1. Run the entire Napa Valley Marathon.

2. Lose these last 2 damn pounds!

3. Decide on my masters program: research and thesis or comp. exams

4. Make more time for family and friends

Goals for the week:

1. Drink 80 oz.water per day! Since school started the water consumption is lagging. Too much coffee, not enough water.

2. In bed by 10 pm every night

3. Gym on Tuesday morning to try out scary elipitical thing-a-ma-job

4. Research the Pilates options

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Nike Women’s Marathon: a Success Story

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 00:04
Nike Women’s Marathon: a Success Story

Nike Women’s Marathon: a Success Story

We didn’t set any land speed records, but on Sunday October 21, 2007 my run buddy and I crossed the finish line for the Nike Women’s Marathon and it was AWESOME! For those of you that haven’t heard me whining for the past two weeks (and you must have been living in a hole or not know anyone even remotely associated with, or related to, me because I did A LOT of whining!), two weeks ago I injured my knee on a easy training run. The week before I had run my first 20 miler and had absolutely no trouble with my knee. It was hard, but even though I had been sick all week and my legs were very tired I was able to run the entire 20 miles. I felt really good about the marathon. Then on an easy 10 miler my knee starts hurting at mile 2. I kept running, finally stopping at mile 7, but it was too late, the damage was done.

Changing Goals

I had originally set the goal to run the entire 26.2 miles regardless of how slow I ran. It became obvious as the week after my injury progressed that I was not going to be able to run the entire marathon. When the week of the marathon came and there was no improvement in my knee despite rest, sport massage appointments, stretches, and lots of icing, I began to worry that I would not be able to complete it at all. I must credit my amazing support group at this point. I have the most amazing family and friends that helped me get off the pity pot and into the solution. I had to play the hand I was dealt and stop bitching about what I couldn’t change. A good friend and wise person told me that being I was a perfectionist and viewing my situation as a failure instead of seeing possibilities for other types of success. I had come a long way to give up now just because I had to modify my goal. At the direction of my Team in Training coaches I decided to run/walk the marathon. My run buddy helped me by setting out a plan that combined her goals with my need needs and resulted in our amazing finish.

The Course

We did the early start because Nike has a 6 and a half hour cut off. The early start gave us and additional 1.5 hours, for a total of 8 hours, to compete it and we took almost all of that time (7 hours and 39 minutes to be exact.) Yikes! The knee started hurting from about mile 1 and I feared I would not last long. We ran from Union Square, past the Marina (gorgeous view of the bridge) through the Presidio (lots of hills, unhappy knee!), into Golden Gate park (lots more hills, lots more unhappy knee) out along the Great highway (straight and flat, knee happier) around Lake Merced (tired, unhappy run buddy with nasty blisters on her feet) and back up the Great Highway to the finish.

My run buddy had brought her camera and we stopped and took pictures at the Marina and the overlook at the top of the Presidio before you enter the park. The walkers and run walkers that we stated with in the early start were funny, kind, generous and just a blast to be around. We did not meet one mean person all day.

Trials and Tribulations

Around mile 12-13 my knee was almost unbearable to run on and I was trying to figure out how I could convince my run buddy to leave me and continue on. There was a cut off time for the mile 18 mark and if you didn’t make it you would be turned around. I didn’t want her to miss it because of me. She wasn’t budging. She was determined to get me to the 18 mile cut off. I found that by shortening my stride to a shuffle and making slow, smooth transitions between run and walk I could tolerate the knee, so we pressed on. After the park the hills were pretty much done (the downhill was ironically MUCH more painful than the uphill) and I got into a rhythm with the run/walk and when we passed the 18 mile mark with more than an hour to spare we were ecstatic! Miles 20-25 were tough, but we made it through with a smile on our faces. My good friend and former run buddy as well (the third RBR girl) came up from LA to watch the marathon and ran with us from mile 22 to just before the finish. It was awesome!

Eddy (my husband) caught us at the 17 and the 25 mile marks and we were all smiles and silliness for the camera (it is nice to have your own paparazzi on the course. Makes everyone think you are important!) We ran the last 1.2 miles at a pace that would make turtles laugh, but we crossed the finish together and collected our Tiffany finishers’ necklaces from the tuxedo-clad firemen. That is how you run a marathon!

Moral of the Story

Many people crossed the finish line hours and hours before us, but you know what? If they weren’t first they got the same damn necklace and t-shirt that we did and we had a great time to boot! Neener Neener!

A brief history of how I got to the Nike Women's Marathon:

My run buddy and I started on this journey together almost 3 years ago. I barely knew her and I asked her if she wanted to do a sprint triathlon with me. We laugh about that now because neither of us did ANY exercise and our first endeavor was going to be a triathlon of all things! We ended up completing an Olympic distance triathlon that year (twice as long as our original goal!) and kept on exercising. I talked her into the marathon this year and more than once she has cursed me for it. But it was she who got me across that finish line and it is to her that I am eternally grateful.

Next stop...

I am still have the goal to run an entire marathon. So I am looking at three possibilities I will let you know VERY SOON which one it is going to be. It will be one of these:

Jan 18, 2008 Arizona Rock 'n Roll Marathon

March 3, 2008 Napa Valley Marathon
June 1, 2008 San Diego Rock 'n Roll Marathon

Monday, October 22, 2007

I did it!!

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 15:57
I did it!!

I brought my laptop so I could tell you guys right away if I made it or not, but the damn hotel's wireless was down.

Holy Crap! I did 26.2 miles yesterday!

Now, as you all know I wasn't able to run it all because of my knee so I did a run/walk strategy with my run buddy. It was basically a 3 min run 2 min walk for 26.2 miles!

I just got back from San Francisco and I have to go to State to teach, so I will post the race report tonight and tell you all the gory details, but I FINISHED!!!!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Cherub-free day!

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 15:43
Cherub-free day!

I took today off to rest my legs! Unfortunately some poor sub is being tortured as I relax, but they made their bed when they decided to be a high school substitute teacher. They had so many other career choices that offered more daily respect then HS substitute teacher like: telemarketer for timeshares, mime, roadie for Ozzfest, etc. Oh well, I wish him or her luck!

I am skipping weigh in today! I know, not a great idea, but it is what I am doing! I was dreading weigh in and when I was reading GCQMom's blog (I am going to pull a "Tracy" and plagiarize my own comment) I decided I am going to go and weigh in on Monday after the marathon. TOM is here and I haven't been particularly careful with my calories this week, so odds are it won't be an uplifting experience.

After the week I have had I honestly don't think I could handle if I gain this week. I may have to be escorted from JC in handcuffs for assaulting someone. Now, that would make a cool EP News item or You Tube video.

RBR cuffed and dragged from local Jenny Craig Center, the display screen from the electronic scale still clenched between her teeth. Terrified weightloss consultant is quoted as saying "she just went ballistic!"

Yeah, I think I will wait until Monday.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I refuse to sulk any longer!

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 01:24
I refuse to sulk any longer!

Alright it is time for Stacey to get off the pity pot! I have a marathon to run dammit!

I am tired of being down about this race. I am going to will myself into being excited for Sunday. Tomorrow I have an appointment to get “the note” (Dr. was sick and I had to reschedule Mon.’s appointment) and I have another appointment with the massage therapist from hell. He is a nice guy, but I am more into relaxation massage than the “dig your elbow into my sore knee” type of massage. Hopefully it will help.

Then it off to buy Puffy Paint! I don’t consider myself a crafty, sorority girl type, but I do enjoy a good puffy paint shirt for a race. I will post a picture of my RBR jersey from the triathlon last year. My run buddy is the premier Puffy Painter so really I just tell her what I want.

I am going to get one of those Iron On sheets that you can print out from your computer to do a picture of Jeff that says “No Matter What” under it (it is from a program saying, “Don’t take nothin’, no matter what”) I am also going to have all the names of the people I am running in honor as requested by some of my donors. I was also thinking I would get a penguin iron on if I can find one. I’ll post a picture when I get it done.

The knee feels about the same. I am going to start off with a run-walk and see how it goes.

Thank you so much for all of your encouraging words it really helped me through this.

You guys ROCK!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Run Today

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 00:39
Run today

I tried a little practice run today to see how my knee felt. It didn't go well. Back to ice and rest.. Not looking good for Sunday. Tonight I went to the Send Off party that Team in Training was doing even though I didn't want to at all.

I don't even feel like going to the Expotique to pick up my packet or shop or anything. Why buy merchandise for an event I probably can't finish? I am going to go to bed and hopefully feel better tomorrow. Sorry to be a bummer.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


Tue, 16 Oct 2007 01:34

Tracy made me cry again!

Tracy, Thank you. Words escape me, so just thank you. I cannot tell you how much I needed that.

EP Praise

You guys are so great. Thank you for the support and the encouragement. You guys inspire me to keep going. You inspire me with both your comments and your amazing blogs. This has been one of the best choices I have made throughout this journey to health.

I will be here Sunday night with a report about the marathon, what ever happens. You guys will be the first to know.

Well, there may be a few thousand spectators that witness a few bouts of runners tourette's first, but other than those people, you will be the first to know if I made it.

EP Vent

I HATE that we cannot respond to comments through email anymore. LAME!

Shelley and I were talking about it. I was very glad to hear I was not the only one who didn't realize for a while that the emails were being returned to info@extrapounds.com instead of the person they were intended for. Argh!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Feeling down

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 15:51
Feeling down

I am feeling a little down again today. It seems to be a Saturday staple. I may need to look at that pattern.

I am feeling very bummed that I am almost 100% assured I will not be able to meet my goal of running the entire marathon. At this point I am hoping to be able to complete the marathon at all. I am going to have to start with the walkers so that I have enough time to try to finish, but I am not even sure I will be able to finish at all. I keep stuffing the feelings and not letting myself cry, but maybe I need a good cry.

I am not sure if I ever posted this but I started with Team in Training because a good friend of mine of 16 years (the entire time I had been clean) was diagnosed with cancer and died 3 months later. I was there the night he died and many of the days in the 3 months preceeding his death. I was struck by his calm. hHe was young (56) had an active life and a lot to live for (new wife, kids, grandkids, huge fellowship of people that deeping respected and loved him) I was so amazed by how calm and serene he was.

Don't get me wrong, he wasn't ready to go, he didn't just lay down to die. He was looking for a way to fight it, but he was also in acceptance of what was going to be was going to be. He said he had spent the last 20 years (he had been clean 20 years. I had known him all 16 years of my recovery) cleaning up the wreckage of his life and living the life he had always wanted.

Not some bullshit fantasy life with lots of cash, fast cars and supermodels. A REAL good life, where the people that meant the most to him knew how much he loved and valued them through both his words and actions. He told me that he didn't have any regrets. Wow.

I don't know if he ever knew prior to our conversations in those last days how much he meant to me, because I have a hard time being vulnerable enough to speak what is in my heart. I am glad that I had that time to let him know.

I vowed that I wouldn't let opportunities pass me by to let the people I care about know how I feel and know how important they are to me. I also vowed that I wouldn't waste energy hunting for the approval of people that I didn't really give a shit about and that didn't really give a shit about me, as I have squandered a lot of the time was given to me, on this planet, doing just that.

After his death I wanted something positive to come from this, so I started to raise money for cancer research through Team in Training. He would have rather chewed off his own foot than ran a marathon, but he would have understood the gesture and been amazed by the outpouring of support I have received.

We (he and I) raised over $3600 for cancer research in the training for this event. His wife is so grateful, my friends are so supportive, and now I may have to report that I didn't make it? Ok, here comes the cry.

It is more than I marathon I am missing. It is his marathon. I will do a marathon in the future, I know that, but this one is special. It breaks my heart to think I may not complete it.

But goddamn it, I will start the mother fucker. And the only way I will stop is if it is physically impossible for me to continue walking.

Ugh, *Ok, regroup Stacey.*

I want to try to look at the positive, so as to not ruin the weekend. I have a very important friend visiting from LA this weekend and I don't want to be a bummer in the short amount of time I have with her.

Positive things:

1. I have completed all of the training for this event. I DID NOT QUIT, even when it was hard.

2. I ran all of the training miles. I did not walk any of it. That was a very important goal for me because I wanted to run the whole marathon.

3. I raised over $3600 for cancer research. There may be a drug out there that could stop fast spreading tumors like his. He would be proud of his contribution to the fight.

4. I ate healthy and lost over 20 pounds in this process. It was not a crash or fad diet. It was not driven by unhealthy periods of not eating at all. It was accomplished in a 100% healthy way.

My friend was not a particularly health conscious person. I am not blaming his cancer on that, but it couldn't have helped the situation. His wife was always fearful of his unhealthy ways.

I do not want my choices to lead to an early death. My husband, my family and my friends deserve better. I vow to treat their love with respect and take care of their loved one. It is one way I can show them that I love them everyday.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 22:51
Weigh in and knee update
JC Weigh in

Well at least it was a loss and not a gain, but I only lost 0.4 lb of the 1.4 gain over the last two weeks. I'll take it.

(I bought another one of those cursed S'mores bars again this week. I am sure I will eat it tonight. Damn its chocolat-ey goodness! At least I only bought one this time)


Uhh, can anyone tell me what that is?


It has been pretty bad this week. I have vascilated between quiet resignation and the verge of emotional breakdown. I made an appointment with a Sport Massage Therapist today. I was really nervous about it for a few reasons:

1. I am not the traditional athlete build. I feared being surrounded in the waiting room by hard bodies that just finished their 12th Ironman.

2. I was concerned my cellulite might gross out the massage therapist

3. I knew it would hurt. I am not a huge fan of pain.

4. I didn't want him to tell me not to run.

I just got back and it was pretty good. I feel more optimistic about the run than I have all week.

1. There was no one else there except his one client before me and I doubt she has done 12 Ironmans.

2. He never once gagged or acted as if my cellulite grossed him out.

3. It did hurt, but he was really nice and distracted me by talking and kindly laughing at my jokes when it really hurt.

4. He said that he understood why this was so important and he gave me a bunch of stretches to do and advice about what I need to do to keep it loosened up for Sunday.

I am going to the doctor on Monday to get a note that says I will need additional time to complete the marathon, so I can start with the walkers and run/walkers. This way I get more time to try to complete the marathon and I am not forced to kill some skinny ass race official that tries to pull me off the course at mile 18

The bad thing about the early start is that I CANNOT (meaning I am not allowed to) finish the marathon in under 6hrs 30min. The coaches are not sure if this is really true or something the race officials are saying to discourage people from getting doctor's notes to start early. I don't know, but if I have to walk I run a serious risk of not making it to the 18 mile mark in time. As it is, I am not sure my knee can hold out for 26.2 miles over any amount of time. We shall see.

Flaxseed oil capsules

The capsule is as big as a freaking golf ball, but does it the trick and not in a "Holy Cow! Get outta my way!" manner, but it just works. I have to take it 3 times a day ( I was having some serious issues) I understand you can eat the seeds themselves, but I have no idea how many you have to eat.

If you are having trouble getting your "used" JC food to pass on through, I recommend it. Thank you to Tatumsmom for the idea. I read it on her blog.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Mini-binge part 2

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 00:52
Mini-binge part 2

I think this one is hormone/stress related. Alone none of these things are too bad but it adds up to a lot of extra calories today, so I need to record it.

Extra things I ate above my JC 1200 calories:

1. Homemade Turkey sandwich (no cheese no mayo, but with a 1/4 avocado) I brought it to school tonight to be dinner. I ate it around 7, but I ate a JC dinner when I got home anyway.

2. JC s'mores candy bar (I obviously cannot buy these darn things again)

3. Power bar (new Harvest Bar Nuts and Fruit kind. They are really good ,but 200 calories and 10 g of fat. Really should be meal substitute not a snack) between lecture and lab at school

4. 1/4c. lowfat granola in my 1 cup non-fat yogurt (the yogurt was on plan, but not the granola)


I knew it was more than I was giving myself credit for so I am glad I logged it. That is about 600-700 extra calories on a non-exercise day.

Monday, October 8, 2007

PMS and Teenagers

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 15:03
PMS and teenagers

It is dangerous combination. The little cherubs were a pain in the butt today and well, I am currently not the students' favorite teacher right now! I think we equally pissed each other off.

We had an early day for grades and I am currently icing my knee before I have to go to State to teach and for my class. It still hurts from yesterday.

The coach e-mailed me back with some questions about my knee pain. Hopefully, she will have some ideas to help.

Hope everyone's Monday is going well!

Sunday, October 7, 2007

I am trying not to freak out...

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 17:35
I am trying not to freak out...

I had to cut my 10 mile run short at 7 miles this morning because my knee was hurting so bad. I have not had this kind of knee pain all season.

I did have this kind of knee pain 3 years ago when I participated in an event I was too out of shape for and increased my mileage too quickly.

This time, however, I have been hyper-vigilant about training consistently and training smart to stay healthy. And NOW 2 weeks before the g*%d@mn marathon my knee gives out?! Are you kidding me?!

The worst part is the Nike Marathon has a cut off time of 6 hours 30 minutes. That is a 15 minute/mile pace. I know to a lot of you that sounds really slow and plenty of time, but my long runs are at 13:40-ish/mile. That means that I do not have a lot of wiggle room. If I have to walk due to knee issues and I am not at pace on mile 18 they WILL PULL ME OFF THE COURSE and I CANNOT FINISH THE RACE or get a finishers necklace or t-shirt.

** Help! I cannot seem to get enough air right now and the room is getting dark.**

Ok, Stacey calm down. *retrieves brown paper bag to breathe into*

It has been a rough couple of weeks. I am a little fragile emotionally and I am NOT going to get negative. I have done various things to give myself the best chance possible for my marathon:

1. I have emailed the coaches to ask for help.

2. I stopped running at 7 miles instead of being stubborn and finishing the 10 miler and risking the knee getting seriously injured. (Although I still had to walk back the 3 miles because I was 3 miles away from my car )

3. I iced my knee when I got home and I am going to ice it again 10 min of each hour for the next 3-4 hours.

It is the best I can do. It will be what it will be at this point. My husband was looking for marathons after Nike that I can sign up for in case I can't finish this one. I will start, but if it doesn't work out I am NOT GOING TO GIVE UP! I WILL finish a marathon!


Enough about me.

Poor Lindy! I heard from Shelley (Shelleys) that the Chicago LaSalle Marathon was canceled at the halfway mark due to record heat and humidity. I really hope she is ok.
{{{Sending good vibes to Lindy}}}

Update on the day..

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 00:16
Update on the day..

I decided to delete my previous post, not because it wasn't true, but because I didn't want to look at it every time I log in. Icky! I feel much better. I got some stuff accomplished today, but I rested too. I also got a Gold membership to EP because I wanted to support the site. (And I was sick and tired of the stupid weightloss ads!)

Sleep issues

I took a nap today and yesterday. I think the sleep deprivation is getting to me. Today at the grocery store I bought some "nighttime tea." I am going to try that out. I can't take sleeping pills because of my past so I need to find a non-medicinal answer to this. I think I am getting a little batty from lack of sleep.

I also bought some flaxseed oil. Tatum's mom recommended it for some issues I have been having recently! I will let you know how it works out. (Not really a sleep issue, but I didn't really want to create a 'constipation' category. Yuck!)


I weighed myself this morning BAN (bare-ass naked) and was 131. I am not going to record it on my tracker, but I do feel much better. I have been weighing myself in the morning lately because too much hinges on my JC weigh in. If I don't lose it is like the week was awful and I don't feel ok again until next weigh in and that is only if I lose. I don't want to stop the weekly weigh in because that can be dangerous. But I am going to keep taking a peek at the scale to see how the week is progressing.


I am running 10 miles with my run buddy tomorrow. It will feel good to be back out there again. I will be thinking of B-Kay who is running her first marathon tomorrow in Chicago! Go Lindy! You are a rockstar! Praying for cool weather for you!


Well, my mental vacation day today is going to cost me a little tomorrow. We have grades due on Monday for progress reports and I have lots of grading to do. Plus I have planning, lectures and a test to write for school and for State. So it looks like tomorrow is a work day.

Tracy (You get your own category! )

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I think you have become my new life coach. I hope this doesn't sound too stalker-ish, but I read your blog (Deserve Better). All of it. Yep, from Day 1. You are awesome.
Yikes. That does sound a smidge crazy. Don't worry you don't have to move and change your number or anything. I am feeling much better, really. lol

Anyway here is to a week filled with motivation and good times for everyone!

Friday, October 5, 2007

It is never enough...

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 19:33
It is never enough...

I was driving home from JC today trying to decidewhether or not to post my weigh in. I gained for the second week in a row. I also just finished a mini-binge in response. Let’s review the unhealthy behaviors and choices that have led to my binge and this blog today:

1. I did not eat lunch today because it would have been too close to my weigh in and would affect my weight.

2. My run buddy and I were talking about going to Chevy’s to get some lunch after weigh in, and I joked “if we were down we would go.” She was, I wasn’t. I decided to go to lunch anyway, not because it is an ok thing to do, but because I was pissed that I gained after running a 20 miler this week, running a hard, fast four miles at track practice and eating 100% JC all week (except the day of the 20 miles).

3. Because I was going to lunch in a F--- it attitude, I proceeded to eat 100% of the chicken fajitas I ordered and a whole bunch of chips. I kept eating the chips LONG after I wanted to. I usually do not eat the chips, due to their addictive nature, but today I didn’t care. I ate way beyond comfort.

4. When I got home, I bitched to my husband about the gain and snapped his head off when he asked if I thought I was at a plateau because I was close to goal.

5. After hubby left (fled) to do a job, I proceeded to eat one of the JC candy bars (s’mores, quite tasty actually) that they have this month for Halloween (and STRONGLY considered eating the second one) even though I am in physical discomfort from the amount of food I have eaten in the last hour.

I am 38 years old and in the best shape of my life. I have lost over 20 pounds and I feel better. 130 is a number, just a number. I will get there eventually if I don’t sabotage myself like I always do, and really, if I never get to 130 and stay at 133.2 forever, I really do feel good. So why isn’t that good enough?