Don't tell my husband but I think I'm in love

This is a totally stalker moment, but I want to be her. Of course, I will need a time machine and gene therapy to correct some unfortunate genetically encoded pie addiction, but there are some amazing advances in science, so I will keep my fingers crossed.

She is an ultrarunner, with a special love for running 100 miles (not in a month, not in a week, in ONE DAY!) Here is her blog, very inspiring.

The 13.1 miles I am going to run tomorrow sounds somewhat less impressive now, but nevertheless I will be heading down to San Miguel to do the Buzz 1/2 Marathon tomorrow morning. My knee feels pretty good it was sore after the shot yesterday and the doctor said not to run on it, so I didn't. this is a sucky week mileage wise, but on the up side....

IT IS VACATION! NO CHERUBS FOR A WHOLE WEEK!

Vacation: Day 1

Exercise

LSR day (1:23:01)
Total miles run: 7.5 (11:04 min/mile pace. Not too shabby)

My knees and legs felt like crap on the run and I felt like I was running really slow. I was passed like I was standing still, by about 405 willowy women with rock hard legs in short shorts. It rocked. But I kept running. In the end my pace came out pretty good. I ran the first 1.5 miles with my run buddy then she started the run/walk and I ran on.

It was a very cathartic run. I actually cried a couple of times. This has been a tough week and I guess I needed a long run to process it all. I was thinking of a poem I read on another blog titled What am I running from? (Athena Diaries) I tried to create my own poem in my head as I ran. NOTE: This is heavily plagiarized from her original because I am in no way creative enough to think of this on my own. Please check out the original at the link above. It is inspiring.

Why I run

I am running from...

I am not thin enough,
from I am not pretty enough,
from I am not smart enough.

I am running from

I am not caring enough,
from I am not hard-working enough,
from I am not ... enough.

I am running to

I am fit enough,
to I am strong enough,
to I am good enough.

I am running to

I am confident enough,
to I am happy enough,
to I am enough.


Food log

Breakfast
no breakfast/coffee
Snack
2 mini Luna bars on the run (samples from the marathon)
Lunch
Out to sushi w/ my college boys: Golden Bell Roll/Tamago/Diet Coke (It was so great to see them. They are doing so well at college. I am so proud of them!)
Snack(s)
4 Christmas cookies (My friend with the dogs gave me Xmas cookies. I ate 4 on the way home. We ran the rest down the garbage disposal to keep from eating them all.)
Dinner
JC Chicken Carbonara/salad w/ JC dressing & croutons
Snack
JC Lemon cake

Nike Women’s Marathon: a Success Story

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 00:04

Nike Women’s Marathon: a Success Story

Nike Women’s Marathon: a Success Story

We didn’t set any land speed records, but on Sunday October 21, 2007 my run buddy and I crossed the finish line for the Nike Women’s Marathon and it was AWESOME! For those of you that haven’t heard me whining for the past two weeks (and you must have been living in a hole or not know anyone even remotely associated with, or related to, me because I did A LOT of whining!), two weeks ago I injured my knee on a easy training run. The week before I had run my first 20 miler and had absolutely no trouble with my knee. It was hard, but even though I had been sick all week and my legs were very tired I was able to run the entire 20 miles. I felt really good about the marathon. Then on an easy 10 miler my knee starts hurting at mile 2. I kept running, finally stopping at mile 7, but it was too late, the damage was done.

Changing Goals

I had originally set the goal to run the entire 26.2 miles regardless of how slow I ran. It became obvious as the week after my injury progressed that I was not going to be able to run the entire marathon. When the week of the marathon came and there was no improvement in my knee despite rest, sport massage appointments, stretches, and lots of icing, I began to worry that I would not be able to complete it at all. I must credit my amazing support group at this point. I have the most amazing family and friends that helped me get off the pity pot and into the solution. I had to play the hand I was dealt and stop bitching about what I couldn’t change. A good friend and wise person told me that being I was a perfectionist and viewing my situation as a failure instead of seeing possibilities for other types of success. I had come a long way to give up now just because I had to modify my goal. At the direction of my Team in Training coaches I decided to run/walk the marathon. My run buddy helped me by setting out a plan that combined her goals with my need needs and resulted in our amazing finish.

The Course

We did the early start because Nike has a 6 and a half hour cut off. The early start gave us and additional 1.5 hours, for a total of 8 hours, to compete it and we took almost all of that time (7 hours and 39 minutes to be exact.) Yikes! The knee started hurting from about mile 1 and I feared I would not last long. We ran from Union Square, past the Marina (gorgeous view of the bridge) through the Presidio (lots of hills, unhappy knee!), into Golden Gate park (lots more hills, lots more unhappy knee) out along the Great highway (straight and flat, knee happier) around Lake Merced (tired, unhappy run buddy with nasty blisters on her feet) and back up the Great Highway to the finish.

My run buddy had brought her camera and we stopped and took pictures at the Marina and the overlook at the top of the Presidio before you enter the park. The walkers and run walkers that we stated with in the early start were funny, kind, generous and just a blast to be around. We did not meet one mean person all day.

Trials and Tribulations

Around mile 12-13 my knee was almost unbearable to run on and I was trying to figure out how I could convince my run buddy to leave me and continue on. There was a cut off time for the mile 18 mark and if you didn’t make it you would be turned around. I didn’t want her to miss it because of me. She wasn’t budging. She was determined to get me to the 18 mile cut off. I found that by shortening my stride to a shuffle and making slow, smooth transitions between run and walk I could tolerate the knee, so we pressed on. After the park the hills were pretty much done (the downhill was ironically MUCH more painful than the uphill) and I got into a rhythm with the run/walk and when we passed the 18 mile mark with more than an hour to spare we were ecstatic! Miles 20-25 were tough, but we made it through with a smile on our faces. My good friend and former run buddy as well (the third RBR girl) came up from LA to watch the marathon and ran with us from mile 22 to just before the finish. It was awesome!

Eddy (my husband) caught us at the 17 and the 25 mile marks and we were all smiles and silliness for the camera (it is nice to have your own paparazzi on the course. Makes everyone think you are important!) We ran the last 1.2 miles at a pace that would make turtles laugh, but we crossed the finish together and collected our Tiffany finishers’ necklaces from the tuxedo-clad firemen. That is how you run a marathon!

Moral of the Story

Many people crossed the finish line hours and hours before us, but you know what? If they weren’t first they got the same damn necklace and t-shirt that we did and we had a great time to boot! Neener Neener!

A brief history of how I got to the Nike Women's Marathon:

My run buddy and I started on this journey together almost 3 years ago. I barely knew her and I asked her if she wanted to do a sprint triathlon with me. We laugh about that now because neither of us did ANY exercise and our first endeavor was going to be a triathlon of all things! We ended up completing an Olympic distance triathlon that year (twice as long as our original goal!) and kept on exercising. I talked her into the marathon this year and more than once she has cursed me for it. But it was she who got me across that finish line and it is to her that I am eternally grateful.

Next stop...

I am still have the goal to run an entire marathon. So I am looking at three possibilities I will let you know VERY SOON which one it is going to be. It will be one of these:

Jan 18, 2008 Arizona Rock 'n Roll Marathon
March 3, 2008 Napa Valley Marathon
or
June 1, 2008 San Diego Rock 'n Roll Marathon

I refuse to sulk any longer!

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 01:24

I refuse to sulk any longer!

Alright it is time for Stacey to get off the pity pot! I have a marathon to run dammit!

I am tired of being down about this race. I am going to will myself into being excited for Sunday. Tomorrow I have an appointment to get “the note” (Dr. was sick and I had to reschedule Mon.’s appointment) and I have another appointment with the massage therapist from hell. He is a nice guy, but I am more into relaxation massage than the “dig your elbow into my sore knee” type of massage. Hopefully it will help.

Then it off to buy Puffy Paint! I don’t consider myself a crafty, sorority girl type, but I do enjoy a good puffy paint shirt for a race. I will post a picture of my RBR jersey from the triathlon last year. My run buddy is the premier Puffy Painter so really I just tell her what I want.

I am going to get one of those Iron On sheets that you can print out from your computer to do a picture of Jeff that says “No Matter What” under it (it is from a program saying, “Don’t take nothin’, no matter what”) I am also going to have all the names of the people I am running in honor as requested by some of my donors. I was also thinking I would get a penguin iron on if I can find one. I’ll post a picture when I get it done.

The knee feels about the same. I am going to start off with a run-walk and see how it goes.

Thank you so much for all of your encouraging words it really helped me through this.

You guys ROCK!

Feeling down

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 15:51

Feeling down

I am feeling a little down again today. It seems to be a Saturday staple. I may need to look at that pattern.

I am feeling very bummed that I am almost 100% assured I will not be able to meet my goal of running the entire marathon. At this point I am hoping to be able to complete the marathon at all. I am going to have to start with the walkers so that I have enough time to try to finish, but I am not even sure I will be able to finish at all. I keep stuffing the feelings and not letting myself cry, but maybe I need a good cry.

I am not sure if I ever posted this but I started with Team in Training because a good friend of mine of 16 years (the entire time I had been clean) was diagnosed with cancer and died 3 months later. I was there the night he died and many of the days in the 3 months preceeding his death. I was struck by his calm. hHe was young (56) had an active life and a lot to live for (new wife, kids, grandkids, huge fellowship of people that deeping respected and loved him) I was so amazed by how calm and serene he was.

Don't get me wrong, he wasn't ready to go, he didn't just lay down to die. He was looking for a way to fight it, but he was also in acceptance of what was going to be was going to be. He said he had spent the last 20 years (he had been clean 20 years. I had known him all 16 years of my recovery) cleaning up the wreckage of his life and living the life he had always wanted.

Not some bullshit fantasy life with lots of cash, fast cars and supermodels. A REAL good life, where the people that meant the most to him knew how much he loved and valued them through both his words and actions. He told me that he didn't have any regrets. Wow.

I don't know if he ever knew prior to our conversations in those last days how much he meant to me, because I have a hard time being vulnerable enough to speak what is in my heart. I am glad that I had that time to let him know.

I vowed that I wouldn't let opportunities pass me by to let the people I care about know how I feel and know how important they are to me. I also vowed that I wouldn't waste energy hunting for the approval of people that I didn't really give a shit about and that didn't really give a shit about me, as I have squandered a lot of the time was given to me, on this planet, doing just that.

After his death I wanted something positive to come from this, so I started to raise money for cancer research through Team in Training. He would have rather chewed off his own foot than ran a marathon, but he would have understood the gesture and been amazed by the outpouring of support I have received.

We (he and I) raised over $3600 for cancer research in the training for this event. His wife is so grateful, my friends are so supportive, and now I may have to report that I didn't make it? Ok, here comes the cry.

It is more than I marathon I am missing. It is his marathon. I will do a marathon in the future, I know that, but this one is special. It breaks my heart to think I may not complete it.

But goddamn it, I will start the mother fucker. And the only way I will stop is if it is physically impossible for me to continue walking.

Ugh, *Ok, regroup Stacey.*

I want to try to look at the positive, so as to not ruin the weekend. I have a very important friend visiting from LA this weekend and I don't want to be a bummer in the short amount of time I have with her.

Positive things:

1. I have completed all of the training for this event. I DID NOT QUIT, even when it was hard.

2. I ran all of the training miles. I did not walk any of it. That was a very important goal for me because I wanted to run the whole marathon.

3. I raised over $3600 for cancer research. There may be a drug out there that could stop fast spreading tumors like his. He would be proud of his contribution to the fight.

4. I ate healthy and lost over 20 pounds in this process. It was not a crash or fad diet. It was not driven by unhealthy periods of not eating at all. It was accomplished in a 100% healthy way.

My friend was not a particularly health conscious person. I am not blaming his cancer on that, but it couldn't have helped the situation. His wife was always fearful of his unhealthy ways.

I do not want my choices to lead to an early death. My husband, my family and my friends deserve better. I vow to treat their love with respect and take care of their loved one. It is one way I can show them that I love them everyday.

About the penguin...

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 01:48

About the penguin...

In reference to John Binghams book, Marathons for Mortals. It is really a good book if you are considering getting into distance running and need some motivation. I am definitely a penguin runner!

Here is an article by John Bingham. He writes for Runner's World Magazine. When I read this I knew I was a penguin!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number One
by John Bingham

Looking up, I see the finish banner and clock. I pick up the pace, releasing the energy I've been saving for the final kick. I am gasping for air; my heart is pounding. I am going to have a PR. I am going to break 30 minutes for 5-K. What?

John Lennon may have been the Walrus, but I am the Penguin. I am the runner you've seen whose legs look as if they are tied together at the knees. I am the runner whose stride is the same as his shoe length. And I am not alone.

Why a penguin? Because metaphors usually used to describe runners—fleet-footed gazelles, cheetahs and winged-footed Mercury—don't have much to do with my running style. I tend to resemble a penguin waddling across the frozen tundra more than a thoroughbred in the homestretch.

If you've seen a penguin run or walk, you know what I mean. Penguins walk as if their feet are killing them. Penguins, waddling and scurrying, are the ultimate expression of will over form. Their feet move as fast as possible, but their bodies are barely propelled forward at all.

Those of you who are gifted runners have seen penguin runners at races. Well, you've seen us at the races where the course is out and back. You rarely see us finish, however. We're the ones who are finishing as you are getting in your cars to go home.

Actually, penguins are easy to spot. We keep moving farther and farther away from the starting line before the race begins. As the really fast and pretty fast runners complete their prerace warm-up and position themselves for the perfect starting spot, we penguins keep getting pushed back. In small races we can still see the staring line, but in bigger races we're so far back we almost need a water station before the starting line.

Once the gun goes off, as the cheetahs and gazelles speed away from us in search of PR's and age-group awards, the penguins settle into the middle of the back of the pack. It's then, when we finally have the course to ourselves, that the real race for the penguins begins—the race with our fears and insecurities. We are not racing anyone but ourselves. In many cases we are not running to anything, but away from everything.

My running shoes have become giant erasers on my feet. Every footstrike rubs away some memory of a previous indiscretion with food or smoke or drink. Every successful mile releases me from the grip of the demons of failure. Every starting line is another chance to prove that my past will not determine my future.

When I am running, in training or in a race, I imagine myself as strong and swift and elegant. When I am running, I imagine myself striding gracefully through life with courage and pride. When I am running, I forget my failures as a child or parent or friend or lover. Through running, I create myself as I have always wanted to be.

Waddle on, friends.