"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Monday, January 24, 2011

When we last left our hero....

Sorry about my impromptu hiatus. I just got a tad overwhelmed with work and such. I did want to post an update since I am sure you all have been losing sleep wondering what the hell has been going on in my FASCINATING life:

1. The "Could-not-find-their-own-ass-with-two-hands United Airlines who lost my luggage, canceled my claim calling it "resolved", then dicked me around for 3 and a half more weeks" Saga:

They found my luggage! A mere month after my own arrival home, my beloved pink Puma hat is home safe and sound. Although it, along with everything else in my luggage, smells a bit like overripe pineapple. (Mental note: Next time leave the stupid pineapple in the hotel.)

 This is wrong. I should not find this funny or cute. Nor should I endorse the taking of such a picture by putting it on my blog.

2.  I have a student teacher this semester.  By time second semester comes around I am running around like my ass is on fire with AP and the state standardized exams looming, committee commitments coming to a head, and teenage educational apathy is reaching its mid-year crescendo.

I am hoping that a bright eyed, eager beaver newbie teacher will shame me into getting my shit together. As I have said, my ego is probably the only reason I have accomplished anything in my life.

Yeah, yeah.. it is supposed to be about the children and their education... blah, blah, blah...

Anyhoo, while my first semester curriculum is neatly organized in folders on my hard drive, with a neatly maintained binder of student handout originals, lesson plans, and standards alignment on my desk,  my second semester curriculum is a veritable hot mess. From the end of January to June, I find myself scrambling when planning to find something, and more often than I care to admit, just recreating activities and lessons out of frustration. I figured a student teacher would force me to get my second semester stuff in order like my first semester curriculum.

I view my decision to take on a student teacher akin to those people that get a puppy so they will exercise. I just hope she does not end up a fat, untrained Labrador locked in the backyard.

I do have to share a "fun" student interaction when I introduced my young, beautiful student teacher to the class:

Ms. RBR: Everyone, I would like to introduce Miss. K...

Student in front row: Is she your daughter?

I look up at my student teacher who stands a foot and a half taller than me, has bright blue eyes, dark brown hair, and legs up to her neck. 

Ms. RBR in her best arrogant asshole, teacher voice: No, Mendel, this is our new student teacher. 

 *sigh* Clearly I did a bang up job teaching the concept of heredity. 

3. My tooth woes: I had my double root canal last week. It was about as fun as ... well, ... a fucking double root canal.

Lucky for me it is only half done and I get to go back next Monday to finish both teeth. Then I get to schedule the gum surgery and the crowns. It is the gift that keeps on giving.

Goddamn, mother fucking, stupid ass $3000.00 granola cluster.

4. I have started yet another diet program. I know, my annual "Hey look! I gained back all the weight from last year's diet" Diet is a tad early this year. I usually do not need to do this until March.

What can I say? I am an overachiever.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Oh, for the love of Pete!

The compassionate and downright hysterical comments I received on my last post, remind me why I love this strange medium we call the Blogosphere. Thank you all. I know that I am a piss poor Bloggy buddy these days, but your support has helped me through some pretty dark hours this past 12 months.

I have been pretty open about the fact that I thought 2010 was about as fun as a thumb tack and saw dust enema, but Pam reminded me of one very important fact about 2010...

...it could have been so much fucking worse.

I was not going to do a year end post at all, but I decided to post about things that did NOT happen in 2010.

Things that I am grateful did NOT happen in 2010: 

My husband did NOT die of cancer, nor did he get worse.

My best friend did NOT go blind, nor did she have a brain tumor.

My mother did NOT die of a pulmonary embolism, nor does she have any permanent damage to her lungs.

I did NOT spend the summer sitting on my ample arse feeling sorry for myself.

Let's see... what else have I got?

Ah, I did NOT, despite my very best efforts, gain more weight than my now almost 7 months pregnant best friend. 

I also did NOT have all of my limbs slowly gnawed off by carnivorous, three toothed wood nymphs... so, that certainly goes the 'win' column for 2010.

2010 Exercise Totals: 

Running: 597 miles

WAY shy of my secret 1000 mile goal. Let's be honest, I have had that goal for several years now and have NEVER met it, but it is more than last year. And yes, SQ, that is less than half of your mileage. In the interest of full disclosure, I am probably less than half your IQ as well. :)

Cycling: 1491 miles

About 500 miles less than last year, but ok. 

Total Miles: 2088 miles

Overall, the exercise front was better than I thought before I ran the numbers. I sometimes get caught up in comparing myself to others.  As if by not doing as much activity, or not being as dedicated, or not showing as much as improvement as [insert whatever person I am judging myself by] it lessens my own accomplishments.

Fuck that.

I am an active person. Am I the most active person I know? Not even close. By the same token, I am also not the smartest, the nicest, the funniest, the prettiest, the most selfless....etc etc.  My life is not a contest, why do I treat it like one? 

When my body turns into a pile of decomposing goo, does it really matter how I ranked in this pretend race? No. What matters is how I feel about me today.

I have spent YEARS of the only life I get, sitting on my ass constantly physically and/or emotionally beating the shit out of myself. I have worked hard on many fronts to be a different person. Am I perfect? Fuck no. Am I a hell of a lot better than I was? Fuck yes. In many ways.

Yet, I still tend to be the meanest person I know...

...to me.

(ok, and maybe a few other assholes, but they most likely have it coming and this is about me, so let's stay focused, people!)

2011 Resolution

Be nicer to me

I want to do this so that I can be the happy, mentally healthy person that my incredible friends and family deserve to have in their life.  

Oh, and about the title of this post. Today at school I was fighting to get my printer to get it to stop printing page after page of random garbage (Just to let you know what a piece of shit this thing is and how angry it makes me, I have punched it hard enough to split my knuckle. Twice.) and in a fit of frustration, without any students present I yelled "Oh, for the love of Pete!" As you can probably surmise from my more colorful language choices on this blog, this would not be a typical exclamation from me. My mom used to say that phrase all the time when I was younger (I know, you are shocked that my mom would ever need to shout in exasperation). I have not heard her say it in a long time. It cracked me up that it was my 'go to' phrase, so I thought I would share.