Oh, for the love of Pete!

The compassionate and downright hysterical comments I received on my last post, remind me why I love this strange medium we call the Blogosphere. Thank you all. I know that I am a piss poor Bloggy buddy these days, but your support has helped me through some pretty dark hours this past 12 months.

I have been pretty open about the fact that I thought 2010 was about as fun as a thumb tack and saw dust enema, but Pam reminded me of one very important fact about 2010...

...it could have been so much fucking worse.

I was not going to do a year end post at all, but I decided to post about things that did NOT happen in 2010.

Things that I am grateful did NOT happen in 2010: 

My husband did NOT die of cancer, nor did he get worse.

My best friend did NOT go blind, nor did she have a brain tumor.

My mother did NOT die of a pulmonary embolism, nor does she have any permanent damage to her lungs.

I did NOT spend the summer sitting on my ample arse feeling sorry for myself.

Let's see... what else have I got?

Ah, I did NOT, despite my very best efforts, gain more weight than my now almost 7 months pregnant best friend. 

I also did NOT have all of my limbs slowly gnawed off by carnivorous, three toothed wood nymphs... so, that certainly goes the 'win' column for 2010.

2010 Exercise Totals: 

Running: 597 miles

WAY shy of my secret 1000 mile goal. Let's be honest, I have had that goal for several years now and have NEVER met it, but it is more than last year. And yes, SQ, that is less than half of your mileage. In the interest of full disclosure, I am probably less than half your IQ as well. :)

Cycling: 1491 miles

About 500 miles less than last year, but ok. 

Total Miles: 2088 miles


Overall, the exercise front was better than I thought before I ran the numbers. I sometimes get caught up in comparing myself to others.  As if by not doing as much activity, or not being as dedicated, or not showing as much as improvement as [insert whatever person I am judging myself by] it lessens my own accomplishments.

Fuck that.

I am an active person. Am I the most active person I know? Not even close. By the same token, I am also not the smartest, the nicest, the funniest, the prettiest, the most selfless....etc etc.  My life is not a contest, why do I treat it like one? 

When my body turns into a pile of decomposing goo, does it really matter how I ranked in this pretend race? No. What matters is how I feel about me today.

I have spent YEARS of the only life I get, sitting on my ass constantly physically and/or emotionally beating the shit out of myself. I have worked hard on many fronts to be a different person. Am I perfect? Fuck no. Am I a hell of a lot better than I was? Fuck yes. In many ways.

Yet, I still tend to be the meanest person I know...

...to me.

(ok, and maybe a few other assholes, but they most likely have it coming and this is about me, so let's stay focused, people!)

2011 Resolution

Be nicer to me

I want to do this so that I can be the happy, mentally healthy person that my incredible friends and family deserve to have in their life.  

Oh, and about the title of this post. Today at school I was fighting to get my printer to get it to stop printing page after page of random garbage (Just to let you know what a piece of shit this thing is and how angry it makes me, I have punched it hard enough to split my knuckle. Twice.) and in a fit of frustration, without any students present I yelled "Oh, for the love of Pete!" As you can probably surmise from my more colorful language choices on this blog, this would not be a typical exclamation from me. My mom used to say that phrase all the time when I was younger (I know, you are shocked that my mom would ever need to shout in exasperation). I have not heard her say it in a long time. It cracked me up that it was my 'go to' phrase, so I thought I would share.