"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Kids Say the Darndest Things!

Those crazy teenagers! Here are some highlights from this years adventures in teaching: (and no, amazingly, I am not writing this from jail after killing one. Go me.)

1. One girls asks if I have a tampon (sorry, boys. Avert your eyes) I say "yes" and go to get her one. The girl with her looks at me completely shocked, "Ms. R, you still get your period?!"

2. One particularly obnoxious boy in my class that is CONSTANTLY chattering away, informs me he is tired and asks if he can take a nap in class that day, I say jokingly, "Yes, if it will keep you quiet." He looks at me suspiciously and says, "Oh sure, then the next thing I know I wake up in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney!" (Almost spit out my coffee that made me laugh so hard)

3. I tell a student to stop texting during class and put away his cell phone. Incredulous, he yells, "What?! I am NOT texting! God!" and throws his arms in the air dramatically to prove he does not have his phone out, but the genius forgets to set it on his lap first, causing him to fling it across the room. It lands at my feet and shatters into four pieces.

Then there are the classics:

Student walks in to class, "do we have a test today?"
Me: "Umm... yes, I announced every day for the last week and a half"
Student: "Dude! What is it on?"
Me: *sigh* "Does it matter?"

Student: "Why do we need to know this? I am not going to be a doctor"
Me: "Thank you for playing, Captain Obvious"

21 weeks until summer....

In running news:
Finally enjoying running again. There is light at the end of the tunnel


tri_al said...

and then the kid + run crossover. love the kids that see me on the running approach, decide that i'm clearly an easy target, and then start running next to me as i arrive. i'm like, yes, well done, your legs are the size of a small shrub and you can still outrun me. well done.

Ordinarylife said...


Relentless Forward Commotion said...

hahaha so this is what I have to look forward to: the teenage years!

Unknown said...

I find this particularly amusing because I live with TWO teenagers. Hahahahahah

Anonymous said...

we live with one of those!
ps - just found you - FRICKIN' HILLARIOUS!

Christi said...

I have one of these crazy teens in my house so on behalf of all parent, I am sorry!

Anonymous said...

Captain obvious...NIIIICE!!!

Instant High Levels of Comedy on a daily basis...gotta luv it!

Kris said...

Yet more examples of why I have a dog instead of kids. ;) Love it!

Regina said...

RE: #3. Don't you love it when justice is swift and mighty?

I'm wondering why that girl would ask you for a tampon if she thought you didn't get a period anymore, but then I guess your entire post sort of answers that question.

Alisa said...

LOL, my parents are teachers and I've heard some of the craziest stories.

While in grad school I had a student turn in a paper where in the middle of the third page he wrote something like "are you reading this?" It was so f'ing insulting I wanted to fail him but sadly other than his attitude he was a good student and smart. I had so much more respect for my professors after being a TA, grading is a pain in the ass!

Can't wait to hear about Project Ironman take 2! I'll be there at Barb's race...hopefully we'll get to meet up.

Generation X (Slomohusky) said...

Sorry it was your expense. Meaning you have to deal with it one way or ther other. Yet, this - is funny stuff! Like there has not been enough teenage movies made, but if I ever decide to make one - screenplay credits go to you.

Anonymous said...


Jo Lynn said...

You would have hated, I repeat HATED having me as a student. Trust me, you would have! LOL

Carolina John said...

hahahaha, oh those pesky teenagers. they never seem to grow up.

i am already dreading when my girls get that old.

Chad said...

WOW. harsh.

Totally delectably enjoyable. I look forward to further entries. I also work in schools, presentations being my forte. Totally accurate!

Check out my running blog!


Aileen said...

LOL @ all of those stories...you made me spit out my water. Dammit.

Willie said...

So glad you're back. I missed these wonderful stories from cherub land

Oz Runner said...

my kids aren't teens yet, but they sure act like it....love the one about the cell phone shattering in 4 pieces.. ha

PunkRockRunner said...


So glad to hear that you're running again. Want to run sometime?
Oh, and we need to start training for the full Ironman...

You've got my digits.