"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Monday, July 21, 2008

Freaking the *&%$ out!

Ignore me. I am going to whine.

I have now missed a long run, a long ride and a long swim. I am still dizzy when I walk around. I can't ride in or drive a car.

&%(#$(@ (O*U ^%@*(*@# *$#*()@)$ (#*(@!
(I am a pretty creative swearer, but I thought I would spare you at least SOME of my ickiness right now)

I am supposed to go up to Guerneville (the site of Barb's Race) tomorrow with my run buddy to check out and ride some of the bike course. I am not sure I will be able to drive (or be driven) much less ride! I am turning into a mush pot overnight. I can feel it. I will have no endurance for Barb's and I will not finish.

I keep reading all of these awesome blogs where people are ROCKING IT OUT! (Calyx ran 9 miles! Stef endured a bike from hell and did her long run to boot! SouthBay Girl overcame injury and crazy work schedule to get her runs in. Shirleyperly just ran her 47th (yes, 47th!) marathon and is up to 37 states completed! Cindy rocked her first 1/2 IM triathlon at Buffalo Springs a couple of weeks ago and just PR'd and won some hardware at a 5K! SWTrigal rocked the Vineman 70.3 with a swim PR and great bike! Running Knitter ran a 5K with her buddies) and somehow instead of inspiring me, like it usually does, I feel worse. I feel like I am the ultimate poser who is reading about training instead of doing it.

Wah, wah, wah... Excuse me while I go change my diaper.


Stef0115 said...

I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.

But the truth is, if I were sick and had a big race looming nothing would make me feel better!

Sometimes shit happens. There was nothing you could have done to prevent getting sick and attempting those long workouts while sick would have been counter productive.


Not sure what I'm trying to say exactly but I want to be here to support you.

Angela said...

Oh, girl! You are always my hero, and that's all that matters. Seriously, I am not being sarcastic. You have some issues right now being sick. You can't help that. You are usually a rockstar. Give yourself a break!


E said...

I'm going to agree with Stef. Sometimes life just gets in the way and there's nothing you can do about it. I would be feeling the same way if I were in your shoes. But you still a ROCK STAR in my book!

Anonymous said...

Oh, sweetie, the pre-race freakouts are no fun at all. It seems like these yucky things always happen during the taper. The week before my first marathon, I fell down our stairs...bad! A week or two before my second marathon, I got a bad stomach flu and missed a major long run and some sorta-long runs before that....and injured my foot.

Your dizziness must be awful - I REALLY hope you feel better soon. I'm rooting for you :)

p.s. thanks for the compliment :)

Erin Leigh said...

You totally hit the nail on the head. Read my return blog today (or maybe in a few days) cause that is the exact feeling I have been having. I totally felt like a poser reading all of this great stuff. While I was thrilled for the person I almost felt like I shouldn't even post cause why do they care what me, the non-runner has to say.

Anyway, I am so sorry you are so sick from this. I have heard of the patch, no clue what bonnie is though. But can't believe that it has such a horrible effect on people. I hope that it is almost the end.

ShirleyPerly said...

Having gotten sick the week before my first-ever 70.3, I can somewhat relate with your freaking out. I just showed up on race day and pretended I was going to do a nice long easy-paced training day. Just get your butt to the start line and give yourself a chance to succeed. I'll be you surprise yourself.

21stCenturyMom said...

I just saw your comment on SWTriGirl's blog and I have to tell you that course for Barb's Race is the bomb! THE BOMB! It's fantastic. No worries.

Jane said...

Vent all you want. You should use the f word more in your blog. You would totally feel better.

Calyx Meredith said...

Of course you are freaking out!! Your equilibrium (physical, emotional, mental) has been seriously challenged. Being that kind of sick for an hour upsets the applecart - and look at you enduring it for days and days! You are so strong.

I hope with all my heart that you get all the way better before I can even get this comment finished!

Remind yourself that Barb's race has no cut off times. You can go at any pace you want and every single bit of it will be experience that will help you in your IMCDA quest. I know there's nothing I can possibly say to help lessen the freaking out, but maybe even freaking out this bad is good training for the IM. ?? I mean, there's got to be something good in there somewhere, right?!

(And I agree with Jane - some serious cursing on your own blog could be very therapeutic.)

SWTrigal said...

Great to meet you! I can't find your email anywhere so will post here. Barb's race was my first half IM 5 years ago. It is a very non-intimidating race-well supported for women and I think it starts later (sleep in for a change). I took my time and had a great time. I will be thinking of you! Email me with any questions!

Angela said...

Found a shirt for you:

Herself, the GeekGirl said...

Bleh. I hate getting sick. It's like all that work I did exists in layer of fitness on my body and when I'm sick and can't work out I imagine it all just peeling away. It almost never does, though. You'll get better. And, I will take that cup of coffee. Email me and we'll see about getting together!

Sarah said...

You can do this, you have so many people rooting for you. And I agree with Stef, Africa was worth it. An amazing trip. And it has got to be rough feeling awful right before a race.

But man, of all places to race, this is going to be gorgeous! I was so happy to read your most recent post. Go to it girl!!