"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Taking one for the Team

When my husband went on Lupron as part of his prostate cancer treatment, we knew that weight gain was almost inevitable. If you take a 55 year old man and drop his testosterone to zero, he is going to put on weight. Over the last year he put on 30 pounds and he has been very unhappy about it (Don't even ask how I, who am a full 7 inches shorter than him, gained 20 pounds in the same time frame while NOT on Lupron. Whatever.)

Now, I married a big man. Not fat, but big. (And, if I may crow a bit, I married an extremely hot man.) I have never been particularly attracted to 'willowy' men, and still think he is hot as hell even with the extra weight.

I am old school when it comes to men; I want the man that can slay the dragon, not run away from it real fast. 

Prostate cancer and prostate cancer treatment is hard for men. It not only makes their mortality a reality for them, but its after effects can make him feel like less of a man and less attractive as a man. As his wife, I would prefer that I be the one that helps him feel more attractive as opposed to some other woman. Just saying...

So even though I have all but given up on the thought that I can lose the weight I have been trying to lose since I hit puberty (Funny how the total number of pounds I want to lose stays the same, but the final weight that loss will result in keeps creeping up as I get older. I think that is because, as I age, the weight at which I look down at the scale and say, "Fucking hell! I cannot possibly weight that much!" increases.) Anyhoo... to show him that I was supportive I suggested to him that we join Weight Watchers together.

Those eyes and that half smile still make my knees weak. 

Some of you may be thinking, "That is so sweet!" Others, know that men lose weight faster and more easily than women and think that a head-to-head weightloss program with their husband sounds like slow dance through hell.  I certainly fall into the latter camp, but he has always been very supportive of my weightloss attempts and I owe this to him.

I have been either losing or gaining weight for 20 years. I have NEVER maintained a weight. I am tired of it. I am tired of counting calories, fat grams, carbs, etc. I am tired of being on a weightloss program period, but this one is for him and he is certainly worth it.

Of course, as I told a friend a while ago, if he comes out of this and has some sort of  "I am alive! I survived cancer and I want to live my life!" type crisis and leaves me for a 20-something year old Pilates instructor, the weightloss will still be a good thing because there will be less of him to dispose of.

 If I am going to pick a picture to represent my husband's hypothetical bimbo you are damn right she will have bad hair and hideous roots.

We just finished our first week and so far so good.


David said...

And what man do you expect to look at her head?

Just curious.

Jo Lynn said...

Once again, our blog posts are similar. Funny how we work that way.
See you soon! ;)

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

I want to lend my total support to your husband by saying, "Whoa, can I have his hypothetical bimbo when he's done with her? Because I'd f*ck her seven ways from Sunday, bad hair and all, because she's HAWT!1!"

You can tell him I said that because he'll appreciate the support. It's a guy thing.

And you're right about Big versus "Willowy" [really? "willowy"?] Men: It's a well-known fact that Saint George slew the dragon with a sword in one hand, but in his other at the time? A three-foot hoagie.

Hahahahahaha! Just kidding! He had his d*ck in his other hand because he was thinking about that willowy bimbo with the dark roots and ripped abs. Lay off, Saint George The Wanky! I have dibs on her next!

Speaking of quote-unquote Runner's [sic] World, allow me to indulge in my second-favorite pastime (second only to bimbo-boffing): viz., grammar-nitpicking:

Who the FUCK is that ONE RUNNER for whom Runner's World is published? It's not me, because I don't subscribe and never would. But there should be only ONE subscriber because if the rag were aimed at many runners its name would be Runners' World [plural possessive] or Runners World [simple plural, non-possessive]. For Fuck's sake, even Runner World, though stooopud, would make more sense if they were targeting a whole demographic instead of just one particular Mystery Runner.

The folks at RW are either grammatical fucktards ... or they intend to imply that, with each issue, they are bringing the reader the "world" of one particular "runner".

Unless this "runner" is that dark-rooted bimbo, why the fuck would anyone care about his/her world?

I have made this point at numerous running blogs and yet the RW foax obdurately persist in calling their stooopud rag Runner's World. That's just fucking perverse!

Anyroad, good luck at Weight Watcher's, but now only one of you can go because the program applies, thanks to that singular possessive I just saddled it with, to just ONE Weight Watcher at a time.

SteveQ said...

Okay, I have to admit that on an earlier post I admitted to being attracted to a "willowy" strawberry-blonde until I saw she was a he, so I guess someone has to be attracted to willowy men. It's the hairless guys that bother me; a man who shaves his chest and legs is probably also watching Lifetime films with his westiepoo.

I don't slay the dragon. I use him to take over the area and then berate him until he commits suicide. And then I wear his skin as a trophy. Then I wonder why women tend to stay away.

Pepe le Pew roots are somehow worse than bleached-six-weeks-ago in my book, but that girl? Nah. Every (female) Pilates instructor I've met would do her, though.

Deb said...

I'm with you. Burly beats "willowy" anyday.

Also, that bimmbo has worse problems than bad hair. What's up with her shorts? It's like she skinned a baby cow and wore its hide. Never a good look.

SteveQ said...

Guys always choose unexpected women to drool over - there's really no accounting for taste. If you ever have cervical cancer in the Bay Area, you might meet my latest interest: http://obgyn.ucsf.edu/gynonc/images/brooks_r.jpg

Aka Alice said...

You know...after I've read through all the other comments, I hardly know what to say!

I rather prefer the burly dude over the willowy one as well. I figure I would break the skinny tike in two (one way or another...and you know what I mean).

Good luck with WeWa...both of you!

Herself, the GeekGirl said...

DAVID: LOL. If I can make a suggestion, there is WeightWatchers for Men online, or at least there used to be, which has all sorts of manly WW treats that are suggested. I find them appealing which means that of course, I must be manly.

I always dreams of being described behind my back as "willow" but throughout my adult life, I've had men tell me that they liked how "strong" "sturdy" I was, that I had "good shoulders". I've eventually accepted it and now, yes, I enjoy being a sexy draft horse.

As for personal preferences of females, heavy or athletic or "sturdy" Sweet Baboo always decrees the perfect female form to be whatever form I'm inhabiting at the moment. Because he's all smart that way.

If you deighn to get an iPad, they have two awesome apps, Weight Watcher's Kitchen App, and the run-of-the-mill and recently updated Weight Watcher's app for ipad. Just a thought.

Meanwhile, you're lucky you just have dogs, because they don't grow up, leave home, and move back in, which I can promise you adds pounds. The last time the Daughter lived with me I gained 30 lbs in 6 months; so far I've gained 5, which is good, but it's still a gain, so she's leaving soon.

But now I'm just rambling. So I'll stop.

Regina said...

You are right, great eyes! Nice!

I've fought that same up and down battle with weight my whole life too. I was happiest when I was pregnant; I felt free.

Glad your hubby is doing well. I too don't like willowy men, I need sumthin' to grab onto!