You know those days, when each day you wake up and tell yourself (and everyone unfortunate enough to have to listen your whiny ass), 'I think I am getting sick'?
And then you never actually get sick? You were just pissing and moaning for no reason, and you really have an acute case of the winter is coming, the days are getting shorter, your ass is getting wider blahs?
Yeah, me too.
I have those.
In spades.
I have decided that I am going to "snap out of it!" That is what everyone told me to do when I suffered through years of chronic depression, it must be possible!
Therefore, I am going to act as if I am leaving for Hawaii next week! (ok, I am really leaving in 2 months, but if I could convince myself last winter that my eating 40 donuts a day would cure my husband's cancer, I am pretty sure I can make my dumb ass believe something like a pushed up travel date.)
This new leaf started yesterday with the incessant singing of the "Baby Shampoo" song.
Like all traditions(and other family specific shit that no one finds funny, but we all feel compelled to share with people outside of our families anyway) no one remembers how it started, but I call those little travel shampoos, "baby shampoos." Several days before our first ever big vacation (i.e. our honeymoon) I was singing a made up song about the acquisition of baby shampoos while dancing throughout the house shaking said baby shampoos.
Hubby came in from the garage mid song, and the performance made him laugh so hard he lost all bad ass composure (this is a rarity in the RBR household, and is my Holy Grail, if you will)
One notable line in the Baby Shampoo song is "When you are sad and buh-luuuuuuue, you got to get you some Baby Shampoooooooo!"
(I called hubby to ask him what tune the Baby Shampoo song was sung to, and he said laughed and said, "You made that shit up. It is a Stacey Original." I will tell you it makes the next door neighbor's dogs howl and attracts tom cats to the front yard.)
I will spare you the rest of the lyrics. The are all inane and intended to be sung way off key.
Other RBR Original's include gems like:
The Cat Snack Song (sung at bedtime to get the cats rounded up. I am a HIT with the felines!)
What's Goosehead got to do with it? (Lucy, my dog, nickname is Goosehead. Again, no one remembers why)
and
It is Time Hortonator (another pet nickname for our cat Horton, and is sung when Horton protests his bedtime and the Cat Snack song fails to illicit the 'rounding up' response )
Horton, aka "The Fatonator," "Hortonator," "The Great Slim Boney", and occasionally when he is less than the perfect child, "You Fat Fucker"How can I feel bad? I got me some Baby Shampoos!
Running Stuff
I am running the Tarantula Run Trail 1/2 marathon on Saturday with Ron (mostly to skeeve Lindsay out. Not sure which will be worse the spiders or Ron :) ) So that should be fun.
Ok, enough weirdness, Queen Random Shit, out!
20 comments:
Your race reports make me with that we had fun trail races in South Florida!
*wish. oops.
I am glad that my house is not the only one that has made up songs being song within its walls!
I think I am with Christi on this one! It is very nice to know that my family is not the only one like that!
My mom swears she has dyslexia and claims she has 7 days until she goes on vacation instead of 70! With her logic I only have 67 days!
We have as many weird strange names for our kid as you do for your pets. Although no songs...
Baby Toots
Infintitus de la luna
Titus
Baby Love
and when he is misbehaving: Evil Baby Toots (and yes, this is said out loud so he can hear it. Evil Mommy Toots)
I make up songs and sing them to my dog and cats...white cotton tails, paws with the fur...
have fun this weekend!
I want me some baby shampoos to look forward to! Damn!
Love your randomness - so perfectly Stacey.
Hmmm...I don't know if I want to run on Sunday, maybe I'll volunteer!
Miss ya! Big Hug!
You always make me laugh when I really need to laugh!!
I feel those "blues", but only because it's still so damn WARM around here! I "want" winter-dammit, enough already!!
I hate when the hubs and I start singing the same goofy songs at the same exact time!! Guess we were meant for each other!
Good job catching those balls!
come on goofy, buckle down.
And some people think Alice and Walter are strange names...LOL...
I have felt like I'm coming down with something for the last month...you mean I'm not? Damn...I really want to call in sick tomorrow. I've still got a GD race report to write.
I promise to run every step of the race with you on Saturday which will be really cool because I’ve written a musical that I need to bounce off someone. It’s basically Die Hard meets Schindler's List meets the Rocky Horror Picture Show and I’m hoping to cast only midgets in the lead rolls. Originally I wanted to have everyone wear ice skates but finding a frozen pond is not easy in the Bay Area so I’m going with roller skates. Production is off to a slow start and the only “star” that has shown any interest in being in the play is Jeff Conaway (the guy who played “Kenickie” in Grease). Sure, he’ll work for scale but then I would have to rewrite the scene where the entire cast is turned away from riding a roller coaster because of the minimum height requirements (and that’s the dance number with the chickens & ferrets).
I can’t wait to tell you all about it on Saturday!!!
Ron
Those songs and the memories that go with them are what keeps our hearts happy and our love strong... and I share our quirkey little things with the general public thinking I will get more than the sound of crickets too but thats ok. It makes me laugh and sometimes it makes somone else laugh too. BUT you shit is funny and I'm glad you shared.
I was going to send an email, but... stop nagging me to do something I already did!
Every family has those in-jokes that no one can remember the origin of. You can make my whole family roar by saying "Lee Van Cleef?!" in just the right tone.
@ratherbeswimming: there are some in the Keys!
Know what never fails to cheer me up? Singing songs I make up about my genitals:
Baby, baby, baby - please don't make me beg!
You gotz to gimme sump'n sump'n for my middle leg!
Okay, last night I drank too much and got a little wrecked
But that was then; this is now - now "little¹ G's" erect;
He wants it 'n' he needs it 'n' let's face it, so do you!
So why join me on the floor? Let's do like doggies do -
I didn't shave this morning so face-to-face is out
I didn't brush my teeth or hair or gargle with mouthwash
So doggy-style's best for all, I'm sure you will agree
This may just be real good for you, but SURELY GREAT for me.
So have a heart and join me, dear, right down here on the floo-wer
I'll be yours and you be mine (by that I mean "my whoo-wer")!
Etc.
It cheers me even more when others sing about my genitals, so, now ... everybody ... join in ...
_______
¹ NOT to be read as an indication that it's "little" in any sense other than a relative one - i.e., relative to the rest of my body. But even then, it measures up, baby!
Ugh!Of corse line six of that song should read "So why not join me ..." etc.
That ruins it for me.
Little G is flaccid again.
Ugh part deux "Of course ...
" (<-- concluding quotation mark I left out of the last comment ...)
I'll stop now.
Awww, feel better Chica!! No better way to snap out of it than a race with Ron. Have fun - and happy weekend!
I used to have a dog named Lucy! Aw.
How about a cure for your blahs... I am adding your blog to my blog list.
Have fun at the half marathon! I am jealous. If you think the days are short and cold there, try Denmark. It is dark right now. It is 4pm.
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