"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Friday, April 16, 2010

Boob Sweat Killed the Radio Star

During my spring break, we decided that we wanted to get one more trip in before hubby's first round of radiation. The choice was to either go to Hawaii or go see his mother and sister in Washington. One of us chose Hawaii. One of us (arguably, the more adult one) chose Washington.

Guess who lost?

Yeah, just guess.

I am in Puyallup, WA. Try to not be too jealous.

I did not take this picture of downtown Puyallup because, really, why would I?

I did get to workout a bit including a trail run in a gorgeous state park in Tacoma, WA.

Point Defiance Trail Run: planned - 4 miles. Actual - 6 miles (uh, yeah... I will get to that)

The day before we had driven through this park and I had spied some very pretty redwood lined trails. I told hubby I wanted to run there the next day. I picked up a trail map and planned out a route (*eerie, foreshadowing music plays*).

Of course it was raining like hell the day I wanted to run, but I stood firm and told hubby I was running anyway and I would meet him back at the car in about 45 minutes then headed out during a break in the rain.

About half mile in. That is the Puget Sound behind me.

Beautiful, spongy redwood trails. Absolutely glorious!

I had chosen to run along the outer perimeter trail to see as much of the Sound as possible and hoping it would work out to about a 3.5 to 4 mile run. It offered stunning views like this one of the Narrow's bridge

The Narrow's bridge over the sound.

but, at one point it put me back along the road and the scenery was not as pretty. Then I saw this:

This is the pretty little trail that lured me off the main trail. Innocuous looking, isn't it?

Almost from the moment I turned onto this trail I was utterly lost. The signage in the park is piss poor at best. According to them there are three trails: the perimeter trail, the interior perimeter trail, and the spine trail. The label these by a square, a triangle, and a circle. Here is an uber helpful sign I came across while trying to figure out where the fuck I was

Thanks MetroParks. Good thing I am not 80 and need insulin, since this sign gives me NO indication how to get back to the park entrance.

"Well, why didn't you bring a map, genius?" You may be asking me through your computer at this very moment. Well, Mr/Ms Judgey, I DID bring their trail map. It had one fatal flaw the markings and names on the map have NO correlation to ANY FUCKING actual signage you will find in the park. I would arrive at a picnic ground that has a pretty little name on the map, but NOT ONE FUCKING SIGN at the picnic site, so even though I found some signs of civilization I STILL had no idea where I was.

Losing the love for Point Defiance Park and its sadistic cartographer.

I finally find and follow the Spine trail, or the "circle" since we can not have consistent marking on map and trail in Washington. At that point I had to chose a direction to head and I had a 50/50 shot of ending up where I needed to be or at the farthest point of the park, but at least I knew when I hit the end of the trail I would know where I was.

You guessed it

My finger is where I was. The pine cone is where I was supposed to be 20 minutes prior.

Lots of unkind words for MetroParks and Washington in general. I head back onto the Spine trail and toward my husband, who has hopefully not released a team of search dogs. I finally arrive, over 30 minutes late, having run 2 extra miles and not happy.

Then I go to retrieve my iPod from my running bra (I have not had time to get a case! Don't judge me!) I had wrapped it in a ziploc bag to "protect it", but since I could not close it it filled with sweat and became a little pool for my iPod.

Hmm... iPods do not like to be bathed in sweat. They should really put that on the box.

I tried to turn it off, no love. I tried to change songs, or playlists, or do anything, no love.

I killed my iPod with boob sweat. Terrific.

I KNEW we should have gone to Hawaii.


Bootchez said...

I am SO sure you are not the only one to kill your iPod thusly.

Mine suffered the exact same fate, minus the ziploc. I bet that's gotta be on the Top Ten Ways to Kill an iPod list, along with dropping in the toilet bowl. Yeah, that too.

KevOnLeTrail said...

I subscribed to your blog not too long ago. Subscribed to a bunch of new running blogs and couldn't remember exactly why I subscribed to yours, but then I see posts like this. It makes sense now.

p.s. - boob sweat is my preferred means of meeting my demise, too.

Kendra said...

Maybe your ipod will come back to life. At least your ipod didn't kill your boob. I have some serious chafing from a poorly adjusted HRM strap right now and I am really impressed that the ipod didn't kill your boob. you must have nice boobs.

Babbs said...

Sorry to hear about your Point Defiance disaster... I live in Puget Sound (thankfully NOT Puyallup) and have attempted to navigate that same park. I am relieved you made it out alive- I am very certain there are others that are still roaming the trails trying to discover just WTF the triangle means!

nrmrvrk said...

I live across the bridge in Gig Harbor and I agree about the lack of signs at Point Defiance. I've ridden the 5 mile loop on my bike enough that looking at the water it's pretty easy to tell where you are on the peninsula. One side has a view of the bridge, the other has a view of Vashon Island.

Agreed though that it's not the best place to go running for the first time with no guide. Shame that there aren't more good trails around in the South Sound.

If you have time and find yourself a little north, look at Bridle Trails State Park (flat/forest), Tiger Mountain (hilly), and Mt. Si (some hilly, some flat)

Jo Lynn said...

It *looks* like a lovely place to run, that's for sure.
I would have not resisted that little trail, just like you didn't. ;)

Diana said...

My Ipod story? Yeah, I used to put it in the bra as well, however I never used a plastic bag. Which to my genius surprise left a nice big ass "electronic device burn" on my right boob! Not so much fun! So, I can definitely say that I feel your "pain" with this story!
With those lovely grey, overcast skies and brown lovely brick buildings...I totally would have picked WA!

SteveQ said...

I carry a ziploc bag full of boobsweat, but no i-pod.

I've been to Puyallup. And now I've sat here for 10 minutes, trying to think of something nice to say about it. The average age of the residents is younger than that Buggles song you referenced.

Unknown said...

I think I killed my headphones at my half-marathon today. Sweat maybe. Or Maybe the water I dumped down my shirt. Or both. Who knows...

Aka Alice said...

There is something poetically perfect about you flipping off the Point Defiance Cartographer BTW...yep, we English teacher types are always looking for that "what's the symbolism here" kind of crap.

I will say, that of all the liquid-related ways I have destroyed Apple products, boob sweat is not among them...yet. I actually thought the plastic bag was genius!

Formulaic said...

Gotta love KevinDC's comment!

Boob death is my preferred way to go too!

Running Through Phoenix said...

Love the post. You are my favorite blogger!! How is hubby holding up?

KJ said...

You make me laugh...and so do some of your commentors...the males today especially! Might be time to buy an ipod arm band for your new ipod ;)

Regina said...

Sadistic cartographer. I think in the history of linguistics those two words have never been used thusly. Man, didn't you know that the Spine Trail is the circle cuz, duh, the spine is somewhat 'circular'? I would have been pissed too.

I can't even go where your ipod went...it's just too easy. Funny and entertaining as per usual, thanks!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

My manboobs (moobs) don't sweat. They glow. That's because of the nuclear reactor water we all drink here in Joisey.

Hahahahaha - I LURVE that pic of you flipping that map the bird! I know the feeling, sister!

Also, I won't condemn you for the alleged ignorance of today's teens. Teh 'Mom was a junior high teacher for 30+ years in the Philadelphia Public School system.

Good on you for teaching our kids, sister! It's no easy job!

(I rolled my eyes while I typed those last sentences. Whatever.)

KevOnLeTrail said...

Regina wrote: "I can't even go where your ipod went"

Yeah, you wish!

Apologies in advance for making this post more riske than it already is.

Tina Mickelson said...

So... although Hawaii rocks, I really do love Washington too. (my sister lives on the army base near Tacoma and I have many great friends who live in area)

God it sucks being an adult. I would have picked HI over WA too to tell you the truth and now I'm avoiding that park when its time for me to do a trail run. Thanks for the tip.

The Stretch Doc said...

now that is a great place to run!! how can I get lost there. haha.


Sheryl said...

You can still revive your iPod! I once put my Sansa Clip through the wash. The key is to submerge it in distilled water (so that it washes away all the salt n crud from the water/sweat. Once you do that, try to shake all the water out of it. Then, leave it to dry in an uber warm, dry place for at LEAST 5 days. Do NOT TURN IT ON until at least 5 days have passed. It should turn on after that =) It worked like a charm for me! The worst thing is to keep trying to turn it on while it's still wet or has the salt/crud all dried up on the electrical innards. Good luck! And eff that cartographer!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

I do so love your posts about Teh Dad. I sometimes wonder if we have the same one.

Pfffttt!! Thanks.

You don't think I've heard that line before when a chick doesn't wanna have sex with me?

"Uh, can't. I think we're related. Plus? You're gross."

This is the first time a tranny used it on me, though.

SteveQ said...

About that comment of yours a few posts before I went all loony: you want me to write about my flaws??? I fall down and get hurt every friggin' run! No one even questions that my most recent long-term relationship ('bout a week) was with Trailer Park Goth Girl or that I reminisce about wanting to watch basketball rather than have sex. I'm wearing clothes mended with duct tape because working once a decade really cuts into the clothes fund.

Oh, and I have a personality disorder that makes poetry seem like the way to live life. Guess how that's working out.

Beckey said...

I killed mine with sweat too! But it comes back sometimes, if you let the battery die and then charge it.

Carolina John said...

We've got all of our stuff loaded into pods right now since we're between houses. the pods sit in a warehouse somewhere in either NC or SC, we have no idea where.

My grandmother was grateful we bought a new house so we could get all of our stuff out of those ipods. we chose not to correct her.