"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Friday, September 25, 2009

It happens to the best of us...

Where, oh where, has little Miss RBR gone? What occupies her, historically, copious hours of blogging, and blog reading time these days?

Newly found love of crochet?
No, as weak ass and lame as it is, that would constitute a form of art, and RBR is as philistine as the day is long.

Internet porn obsession?
No, Glaven's hits alone exceed the allowable bandwith for Trannies_4_me_n_u.com so there is no room for little ol' me. (Didn't think I forgot 'cha did you buddy?)

Total and absolute burnout?
Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!

I have seen this phenomenon happen to much more impressive athletes than me (really, your average lawn bowler is a more impressive athlete than me, I digress...) but,

I hit the training/racing wall and I hit it HARD.

It was hard to come here and report, "I hate running, I hate biking, I hate swimming (ok, that is not hard to report since I ALWAYS hate swimming) and I feel like total dog shit." Plus reading about all of you doing awesome things was hard as well. So I just dropped off the fucking planet.

I am not sure if it hit shortly after Barb's Race or, more likely, 3 miles into San Francisco Marathon, but I lost the love. Let's review the time since my last post:

August 31st: Supposed to run the Inaugural Dirt Inspires Half Marathon. Woke up at 5, looked at clock, said "Fuck that", went back to sleep.

September 12th: Supposed to do the Triathlon at Pacific Grove (would have been my 5th year in a row and was my first triathlon) The weekend before, I thought "I really do not have ANY fucking desire to do that." So I did not.

Me in my new, uber-geeky t-shirt! A former student sent me the link. I LOVE it! I have a full blown, bat shit crazy, obsession with the duck billed platypus and all of my students know it.

I am now one of those people that pretty much only works out on the weekends and very slow, very short stuff at that. It takes HERCULEAN effort to get my ass out the door for these very infrequent, very piss poor efforts.

My longest run since Barb's? 5 miles.
My average run length? 4 miles.
Number of times I run a week on average? Once.
Longest bike ride since Barb's? 20 miles
My average ride length? 16 miles
Average rides per week? 1.5
Longest swim since Barb's? 0 yards (that pretty much answers the rest of the questions)

I know I must be somewhat better, since I am back here, but...

I have lost my mojo. Has anyone seen it?


Lindy said...

I haven't seen it, sorry. :( I would just say, try and find what it was that drew you to running/biking in the first place. I've been having a rough running season, too. Terrible long runs, and in fact, until yesterday's 20-miler, all of my other long runs suspiciously ended at around 15 miles. Needless to say, I'm severely undertrained for the upcoming marathon. But after I finished yesterday's run, I got that 'rush', that "You're EFFING AWESOME" rush...and that was what always inspired me in the past. To "get that feeling" again.

What is it for you that kept you going in the past? Maybe you have too many races on your calendar, and maybe you should pick the ones that you really like, and forego the rest?

Also, there's nothing wrong with taking a break, whether you're sick, tired, or just need a break for your mental sanity.

I'm sorry, this is probably not much help.

SWTrigal said...

I have soooo been there! This is our psyche's version of "time-out" Give yourself the time and space to get the "want to" back. In the meantime do fun stuff and only train "if you want to"..
This is what I have done and it moves through quickly...

Unknown said...

No surprise probably to hear this from me, but hey, if you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it. This is mostly for fun, right? Plus it is supposed to provide stress relief, not be a stressor.

I think you probably just need a break. So take one.

I think mojo will return after it's little vacation.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

B*tch, you haven't lost your mojo entirely because I laffed as I read your comment on my Rodney Yee post (so few people actually read the footnotes, I think) and also I got a little turned on by it to the extent that ... well ... let's just say my prostate wasn't the only thing growing at that particular time. I got as engorged as a duck-billed platypus!

Am I turning you on?

I can't believe I'm hitting on a tranny! O, this is a new low for Glaven!

Welcome back!

(If this comment doesn't send you back into self-imposed exile, then I've lost MY mojo.)

ShutUpandRun said...

Nice to see you back. I was hoping you had been off watching porn so you could fill us in. Sorry you've lost motivation, but don't do what you don't want to do. If you love it, it will come back to you or something like that. In the mean time, fuck it.

Generation X (Slomohusky) said...

It happens. Just don't take too long of a break. My last vacation from running lasted 13 years, 30 pounds of weight, and 2-3 minutes off my mile pace.

However, first and foremost we should be doing this for fun. Running should be your personal RR from the realworld.

Maybe you just need another fun filled bike adventure through downtown Sacramento? Maybe some troll/meth addict under the bridge in Sacramento took your mojo?

Cheers! You have been missed.

Calyx Meredith said...

A) Sorry about the missing mojo - but it'll be back someday and while it's gone you should do other fun stuff!

B) I covet your shirt. I LOVE platypi!!

C) Heard a news report that mentioned bear scat and thought of you.

D) If you didn't want to do PG (ie YOUR race!) then you really, truly need some time off from training! Or even thinking about training. Or blogging about training. But that doesn't mean we don't want to hear from you. HUGS chica!!

PunkRockRunner said...

Welcome back!

So glad that you did not turn into a grown up on us.

Well at least you've started to read my blog again. This means that there is hope for you my dear.

You did more in a short amount of time than most people will do in a lifetime so I would think that super hero burnout was bound to happen.

I do know that WHEN you come back to the dark side you'll be kicking ass again and again and again.

When you're ready to ride or run give me a call.

All the best!


IronWaddler said...

Glad you are back- I have so missed your sense of humor. Your mojo will come back stronger but cannot be forced.

Karen said...

Yeah, you are right. It happens to all of us. You are pretty damn awesome with all of the training and races you have completed. I think maybe you just need a break. A short break... You will miss it. At least I hope you will :)

Jo Lynn said...

Were your ears ringing today?

My (now great) friend, HSE Lori came out to cheer me on for my first triathlon this morning. While she was (ssshhhhhhh) running along side me, she said, "I'm worried about your Stacey friend. She seems to have dropped off the face of the eart." I told Lori I have your phone number and was not afraid to use it. BAM! A new post from you appears. Amazing.

Suck it up girl. If you need a buddy for any or all three of those activities, call on me. ;)

Willie said...

Love the picture but as hard as I try I just can't see the shirt! Hmm, must be a guy thing.

You'll be back, take all the time you need. Meeting me in San Francisco was just too much for you. Happens all the time to people who meet me. It's a curse.

Love ya, hang in there.

Aka Alice said...

RMAO at Willie's comment...SUCH. A. DUDE...

Hey...don't worry. Mojo will return when you least expect it, and when you aren't stressing over it...sorta like your misplaced classroom keys, or getting a date (back when we were single anyway). Mojo's a son-of-a-b!tch that way.

Aka Alice said...

Oops...meant LMAO. I don't know how I'd RMAO, unless I was using one of those foam roller things, but that's not what I meant.

Leave it to an English teacher to spell an acronym wrong...GAH!

Kelly said...

Hey you!! So glad to have you back in blog land. Don't be too hard on yourself. You had a crazy schedule last year and did so many races. I honestly don't know how it stayed fun for as long as it did. Plus, I think it is perfectly naural to be burnt out a little after an Ironman and want to take some time off. You are not the first per sone this has happened too :-)

Just do things for fun and because it feels good. Leave the watch and heartrate monitor and bike computer at home and go have fun!

Stef0115 said...

I agree with what others have said.

I've felt a bit of what you describe since doing the Utah Half Iron.

The greatest gift I've given myself during these past few weeks of sporadic, inconsistent training is to not judge myself and just "let myself go" a little. Everyone needs to once in awhile.

Welcome back to the blog!

Regina said...

yeah! Glad to see you. Glad I could help light the fire under your ass..lol.

Trust me, I am not doing that much more than you are at the moment, just trying to keep it consistent as much as possible. We all burn out. If I had a nickle....Not that this advice ever really helped me, but I've been told to "make it fun". Not sure how I do that when I loathe running, like biking, but too boring and love swimming but am so mediocre at it (also boring). I'm a real motivating force, no? A geyser (more like geezer) of inspirational bullshit.

In any case, I am glad you found your way back here. It is always a pleasure (who am I kidding, a fucking riot) to read your blog.

PS....LOVE the shirt!

Missy said...

No but we've missed you - I understand it, but we've missed you!!!

Southbaygirl said...

I haven't found your mojo....maybe mine is hangin with yours!! For there have been numerous races I've decided the day of not to do...for any lame ass excuse you can throw out there. mainly-it's too sunny!! I didn't do the Long beach Tri 2 weekends ago because I just didn't feel like it....I'm a loser!!

Give yourself some time! You need it! You have worked your ass off and yes, you are burned out! It happens to the best of us! And you are one of the bestest deary!!!

Why don't you take at least 2 weeks off and don't do ANYTHING! Go for walks! Play tennis, golf, bowl, whatever! Just don't run, swim or bike!!! Clear your head from the funk...and you might just find you miss it again!!

Lindsay said...

i've been struggling myself since august... i've continued to force myself into running week after week. some days are good, but most make me want to cry. (sometimes while running, sometimes before running, sometimes after). i'm a running-emo mess.

so, i don't think i've seen your mojo either. yours, mine and southbay girl's must've run off on a caribbean cruise together or something.

nothing wrong with a break. i am definitely looking forward to feeling less (self-) pressured to run after the nyc marathon myself. take some time off to do other things you enjoy -- being lazy, joining those random cardio classes at the gym, whatever you feel like. i missed you too!

Diana said...

I wish I could find the mojo for you, but I'm working on my own! It seems that you are not feeling any pleasure from what you're doing, unlike the pleasure we all know G gets from what he's feeling! Anywho, try something new! Do I dare say kettlebells?! You know my love for them. You live in CA, there are some great trainers out there!
I have backed off the triathlon road and have taken a different path-for now! I don't want to start to hate what I do, so it's on rest right now until I know it's time to go back!
Hope all turns out well, missed your posts-always good for a squirt of soda out my nose!

Alisa said...

I haven't seen your mojo however, with all that training and racing you were doing it doesn't surprise me that your body needed a bit of a break. After my three marathons in one year (which is nothing compared to your schedule) I took a hiatus. I need to remember why I was training so much. Why did I want to run? Fact is, I didn't! That's when I took up Tri training and learned that I'm better suited to a three sport race where I'm good at one leg (swim), decent at another (run) and well, need to train on the third (bike).

My advice to re-kindlind your mojo is to stop running with gadgets for a couple of runs, just go out, enjoy the scenery and take in the fresh air. If you walk, you walk, if you run, you run! I did that for a few weeks and then realized I didn't want to be on a strict schedule but rather set a week goal like "bike 3 times" or "swim XX yards." I am still more or less doing that "plan," being on a strict plan wasn't working for me any more.

In short (b/c this comment is NOT short), go back to your roots. Why did you start Tri's to begin with? What makes you want to get on the bike or strap on the running shoes? I won't mention the bathing suit and goggles =).

Maryland Girl aka Michelle said...

I echo the sentiments above. Your training and race schedule has been wicked since I started reading your blog. Take some time, enjoy life, hubby and the pets. If you feel like getting out for a run go do it. Maybe go for a great hike instead. Try something new- kick boxing, yoga, zumba just to mixed up a bit...
And still hit up the blog! We don't care if you are running marathon or completing a triathlon!

SteveQ said...

I love platypi. I even like pluralizing the little monotrematacious varmints. And the fact that there was 50 years between the first and second ever zoo births (and people think pandas are hard to breed). I even liked Richard Jeni's short-lived TV show "Platypus Man." Duck-billed platypus, is redundant though - name another kind.

Burn-out's a way of life for me. I ran a 100 mile race (my first), then a 50K each of the next two weeks, a 50 mile two weeks after that, a 50K the week after that, another 100 mile three weeks later... and wondered why running had lost its charm. Go watch others run races and you'll soon find yourself thinking, "I'd like to do that!" Unless, of course, you see Glaven - no one wants to do that.

Carolina John said...

is it better to burn out or to fade away? love the shirt, been missing you.

triathlon is only something we do for fun. if it isn't fun anymore, don't do it. the relief from this mental change is worth it's weight in gold. that is why i don't play golf anymore. missing my weekly game got too stressful. once i abandoned it completely everything was ok again. haven't played in maybe 3 years now and don't miss it.

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the real world. We all go through the burn out...my worst one was from 1985 to 2006 when I swore off ultras forever. Well, for 22 years anyway...Hopefully your time off won't last quite that long. :-)

trailturtle said...

Given the tenacity that you showed at Ironman CDA, I have NO doubt that you will find your mojo again...and be even better in this next run at Ironman. Celebrate the moment in your teaching (the greatest profession on earth) and then go out and celebrate life in your swimming/biking/running....maybe a ride up Mt. Hamilton or Mt. Diablo on a beautiful day will do it! I'd love to read about it....
Have fun, Ann

Jane said...

Not only should you not feel bad about taking a break, you NEED a break. Those few months where I did nothing but get fat and sit around were really good for me, and if you recall, when I came back I was really back.

Quit running so much and doing zillions of marathons! Go shopping and sleep in late with your dog.

I would suggest "just" doing a little exercise daily - NOT training, for the next 3 months until it's time to train for another race...(Vineman 2010???) After IMFL, I'm going to sleep in, go to brunches on the weekend. I will probably swim twice a week and go to spin twice a week, but that's it.

Julia vdw said...

Mojo, schmojo. You are doing this for fun. If it is not fun, do something else! And then get back on your bike so we can do Grizzly Peaks again.

Hee hee.

love from your pal,

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

O, sure. Come back, make ONE post, then just sit back and reap the comments!

Typical B*tch!

You're just not (wo)MAN enuf to hang wit' us Big Boys, are you?

You're as slow and improbable as a - Dare I Say It? - platypus!

P.S. I like SteveQ's position on Richard Jeni's show Platypus Man ... but I take exception to his position on Glaven.

Perhaps it is time Glaven arranged to KERTWANG HIM GOOD!1!

RoadBunner said...

Everyone deserves a break sometimes and you definitely earned yours! Your mojo will come back sooner or later! Do not fret!!


ShirleyPerly said...

I think sometimes the best way to find your mojo is to let it come back to you. Sounds to me like you need the break, probably more mentally than physically. Hell, you spent most of this year training for an Ironman so why lose sleep over a half marathon or oly tri? They were just local races anyway, easy to blow off.

It'll come back to you, probably when you're least expecting it. Another option is to offer a nice reward of some sort. My mojo has been known to return if there is something worthwhile hanging on the line.

Great to hear from you!

TammyRunsWV said...

I feel you girl! After my big race September 5th, I have not wanted to do anything. I have a half marathon at the end of October and can't get myself to do speedwork or tempo runs. I'm thinking about not going. I can't get myself to do a long run either. I hope it sure as hell comes back because I would hate to lose everything I have gained, but I just don't feel like it, lol. Heat and humidity were my excuses before, but now that it's nice and cool outside, I have no excuse. I'm sure we will get the bug again (at least I hope).

5 Miles Past Empty said...

Randomly found your blog. Made me laugh, or snt on my keyboard anyway (stupid nasal laugh).

Lost mojo, eh? It happens to most of us at some point or another. You'll find it if you want to. Good luck!


Zoomy said...

Glad your blog showed-up in my Google Reader recommended list. Very timely. I am 2 weeks out from marathon #3 and my Mojo has been absent for probably close to a month. I just started taper and pushed myself to finish training without actually skipping workouts...but it was HARD. I never went through this while training for the first 2 marathons, but in recent weeks have come to the realization that I don't really like marathons all that much and that the training for them is as much a bitch as the actual race, so I may not do any more after this one. I know I'd be MUCH happier sticking to the distances I do enjoy and trail running.

Everyone else who has said it is right. Do what you love...forget the rest. And maybe try something new. I'm planning to start adding cycling to my training regime, so duathlons will likely be on my horizon. Heck, maybe I will eventually forgo running altogether. My hubby used to run...now he says running is stupid. He has 6 bicycles. I think he may be trying to brainwash me and take me to the dark side with him. Joke's gonna be on him. He thinks I spend too much on running stuff. He should know that cycling is not exactly a budget sport, heh.

Take that recommended break. When you do go back it will be because you want to, not because you feel obligated to.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

I hereby claim this unused space (since you're not using it, B*tch) in Teh Name of Heisenberg Enterprises, LLC.

I intend to use it as a platypus hunting ground. Rich humans (and Dick Cheney) would pay a LOT to be allowed to hunt platypi (Teh Most Undangerous Game) with Impunity. (Impunity's this stupid lawyer I know who'd let himself be shot in the face - "by accident" - while platypus hunting.)

You have 2 days to vacate the premises.

Nicole said...

I'm sure it's out there somewhere, just waiting for you to find it and take it home again! All trusting and innocent, like a little child sure that mommy will come.

So quickly, get out the door, and go get it!

Herself, the GeekGirl said...

I've got it. Over here. I'll give it back when I'm done with it. (PS: We've all been there. Total burnout. Not uncommon after the big IM.)