Back at it

I finally went back to work on Tuesday, but I still wasn't quite 100% so I did not work out, but yesterday I went for my first run, post-'Flu of Death' and it was positively...

awful.

It was like running through wet cement for 5 miles. It was of those runs you do because you are supposed to, not because it feels good.

Tonight I am going to my first pre-masters swim class. Can you sense the excitement? No? That is because there is no excitement. I don't want to go, but I am sure I will feel better after I do.
It is one of those "conquering your fears" things.

Update: I wrote the first part of this at 5 in the morning, it is now 7:15 pm (interestingly enough the exact time my pre-masters swim class starts) and no, I did not get a waterproof lap top, so I wimped out. I was tired and I just plain didn't go. I don't have a good excuse or reason. I just didn't.


The Pedagogical Roller Coaster that was my day:

DOWN Email from Vice principal that I did not include enough comments on my grade reports for students that have D's or F's in my classes. Apparently, we are too assume that parents do not understand that not completing homework and failing test scores, are how students get poor grades in their classes until we enter the code for "Homework not completed" and "Low test scores" on the report card, that the student probably stole out of the mailbox anyway. This email was cc'd to my principal.

I am on the "bad girl" list again. (or still I should say)


UP Have one of the best lectures and discussions on Genetics of my whole career. My 5th period was engaged, laughing, learning. It rocked.

Ultimate teachers high.


and back DOWN Sixth period. If you had ever actually been to my sixth period I wouldn't have to write another word. I can't joke, I can't use silly examples. Basically, I can't have ANY fun as a teacher, at all . I have to be the policeman the entire period. I pick up my chair and bull whip when the first bell rings and I can't put it down until the last bell rings.

This glorious day with sixth period culminated with a less than pleasant interaction with student that I spend at least 75% of the class period admonishing for inappropriate outbursts, touching/harassing other students, not working on the project he is supposed to, and just generally being an asshole. He was shouting out something obnoxious about his sperm (not as bad as it sounds. I teach biology, but still!) and I told him to stop AGAIN. He starts to argue how, of course it was someone else's fault that he is an asshole and I tell him I do not care why he is talking I just want him to stop. His response, "you're stupid!"

Awesome.

At this point the child is safer the farther away from me he is. So in the interest of his safety, which of course, is my primary concern, I send him to the dean of students.

Soooo, glad I get to do this again tomorrow.

Who da thunk it?

Who would have thought that stepping on the scale and seeing a gain would be the good part of my day?

Truly, truly disheartening and shit-filled day.

I work hard, I give everything I have and then a glorified bureaucrat (whose fucking car allowance comes out of my [and every other teacher in my district] fucking salary, by the way) decides that my Advanced Placement class' grades are too low, because her friend's child is in my class and has a C- [which was a GIFT, by the way, it should have been a D+], then she starts a campaign to fuck me over. Awesome, truly awesome. I came home from work at 4 pm and slept for 3 and a half hours, not a good sign of mental health.

Moving on.


I have to go in for a AP Biology lab tomorrow (apparently, I go in on Saturdays, because I am such a horrible teacher and delight in crushing the spirit of students. Teenage Soul & spirit crushing IS why I took a pay cut to do this fucking, thankless job.)

Gee, I am not bitter at all.

Anyhoo, this is Take 2 for the Bacterial Transformation Lab. Last time the bacteria did not grow and I had to cancel the lab. Keep your fingers crossed. I will look like a serious ass if this lab doesn't happen again.

My run buddy and I are going for a bike ride after the lab. I am supposed to ride for an hour and a half. I am not really looking forward to it. I just want to ball up and hide.

Those diseased vermin gave me a cold!

Damn teenagers! Little germ factories! I keep threatening to install a HazMat decontamination shower over my door. I really need to get on that.

They have no problem cutting my class if they get a hankerin' for french fries in the middle of the day, but when they are sick they always show up and hack and snot all over everything. Then they whine that they can't do any work, because they are sick. If you are sick, STAY HOME! Spare the rest of us your contagious, whiny-ass self, you walking petri dish!

Ahem... sorry. I'm done.



Anyhoo, I have been sick all week and it has been all I can do to keep my head above water with work, my Masters classes (HUGE presentation this week, of course!), teaching at State, blah, blah...

I haven't run since Sunday and I am freaking out. My coach recommended walking today to keep my legs loose. I am feeling a little better, so I will do that.

I do not feel confident about the marathon at all. Not that I am usually a cocky person, but I have trained hard as I could and I thought I would be more confident going into this thing.

I am not.

I think I may throw up.

Hopefully this is normal.

Monday. Doesn't that really say it all?

WARNING: LOTS OF SWEARING AND DISILLUSIONMENT IN THIS POST

Today: To be filed under "Can someone tell me again, why the fuck do I do this for a living?"
I made good headway on my grading today, but it hasn't brought any relief to the stress. I am 2 Xanax shy of a complete mental breakdown. Between all of the work that needs to be done before the kids leave for break, all the Christmas shit I haven't done, and the impending Hell of my Christmas break job I think I am going to lose it.

To top it off, I have a kid making my life MISERABLE with his drama bullshit, that has now somehow become my problem. Student "X" made up a WHOPPING lie as a excuse to turn his lab report in late. I could care less why it was late, it still loses points for being late. (I will give consideration to certain circumstances, but you know..) Anyhoo, while the student was squeezing out crocodile tears and regaling me with his tale, my bullshit meter screamed passed "Break out your hip boots " and went straight to "Dear God! Get a snorkel!" but, I decided to drop it because it didn't change what was going to happen to his late credit on the lab report and I wasn't going to give him an extension on the second lab report that was due Wednesday. I was hoping I was giving him a way out of this WHOPPING lie so he didn't have to perpetuate it.

Well, then dumbass tried to tell this same WHOPPING lie to another teacher to get out of turning in an essay on time. Only this time he threw me under the bus by saying he told me and I promised to not tell his parents (not true) and gave him an extension (not true). This teacher emails me because she is concerned that Student "X" is not getting help for his MADE UP problem and that he told me about this issue and I said I wouldn't tell his parents. This is PATENTLY not true. I said repeatedly to the child that I cannot and would not promise not tell his parents, so the student never said anything directly he just eluded to the big fat lie that he openly told this other teacher. So of course, upon receiving her email I IMMEDIATELY called the Dean of students and told him of his WHOPPING almost lie to me and his WHOPPING actual lie to another teacher. Then I called the other teacher involved and told her the deal. Now she is pissed as hell that he tried to play her and I am pissed as hell because he tried to throw me under the bus (if I have told them once I have told them a thousand times "if it comes down to me or you staying out of trouble, I will chose 'me' every, single time."), but he is SCREWED because now he openly said this lie instead of big, leading hints. Now the same WHOPPING lie is going to be told to his parents, except now Student "X", in the immortal words of Ricki Ricardo, is "going to have a lot of splainin' to do".

Oh yeah, I do this because I am making a better world and giving back to the community. Right.

Exercise Log
None. Rest day (Really, it was a "Fuck this. I am going home" day.)

Food Log
Breakfast
(1) English muffin/coffee/(2) JC French Toast + banana/coffee
Snack
1/2 c. cottage cheese/coffee
Lunch
(Lunch date w/ run buddy) Hold on to your hats we went to....Sushi! Golden Bell Roll/Tamago
Snack(s)
none
Dinner
(Dinner date w/ old friend) Fresh Choice: salad w/ sm. amt. light ranch dressing/~1/2 c. cottage cheese/ 1/2 slice french bread w/ butter/brownie w/ ~1/4 c. nonfat frozen yogurt
Snack
Where did I put that tub of frosting and roll of unbaked cookie dough?

I swear, I will write a non-nasty, non-ranting post someday soon. It has to get better sooner or later, right? Right!? Answer me, damn it!

Well, at least it is over...

Teaching
Let's talk about all those inspirational movies where a super dedicated, motivated, and super medicated, ummm... I mean 'and super motivational' teacher takes a bunch of underprivileged, under appreciated kids and turns them into chemical engineers over the summer. Telling us all that if we teachers care enough THEY will care enough and rise to the occasion. BULLSHIT!


Case in point: ( I have a MILLION of them. These just happened to occur tonight, hence the rant)

I sat at school tonight waiting for a student to help him with HIS lab report write up and to tutor HIM on the latest chapter. We were supposed to meet at 8 pm after I went to the gym. I wanted to meet at 6:30-7, he couldn't meet until 8, I said fine I had grading to do anyway. I received a text message at 8:20 "sorry i cant make it. we can do it another time." Really? We can? Thanks! That is awfully sweet of you!

Then, while I am at the grocery store at 8:45 tonight to buy supplies for THIS WEEKEND'S lab (yes, weekend, I hold labs on the weekend and everyone raves about how dedicated the kids are. Umm, I had to institute a rule that if you hadn't read and written up the lab procedure you couldn't come to lab because they would all show up having NO idea what to fucking do and then get mad at ME because the lab was taking too long!)

ANYWAY, I get a call from a very sweet student that has been set up by his 'less than sweet' (read: smug asshole) friend to tell me that I needed to check my email because smug asshole has sent me his lab report to proofread. The lab report is due tomorrow morning at 7 am. Gosh! Thanks for all the lead time. I'll get right on it. Especially since you sleep every morning during my lectures. With that kind of appreciation and respect being directed at me, I certainly want to bend over backwards for you. Bend over... that sounds about right!

In case you were wondering, I AM super human

As a result of shit day # 2,471 I proceeded to pick out a nice, fatty piece of German Chocolate cake and a Reese's Big Cup candy bar when I was at the grocery store for the lab supplies. I however, ....

PUT THEM BACK!!

Holy shit! I almost sound like a rational eater, someone that doesn't sabotage their weight loss efforts because the world is not subscribing to the Code of Stacey. Whoa. I need a minute for that to sink in.

Exercise
Treadmill (32 min)
Run 3 miles (10:40 min/mile)
Knee was hurting all day, but felt surprisingly good on the treadmill. I took it easy on the run and still ended up faster than my usual (pre-treadmill days) pace.

Food Log
Breakfast
(1) English muffin/coffee (2) JC French Toast + banana/coffee
Snack
Nutri-grain bar/coffee/apple
Lunch
(lunch out w/ Mom) Chicken Teriyaki Salad/piece of sourdough bread w/ butter
Snack(s)
JC Toffee bites
Dinner
JC Chicken Carbonara
Snack
Yogurt w/ 1/4c. cereal (carbs, carbs, and more carbs today!)

Don't cha?

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 23:18

Don't cha?

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?! (Sorry, I teach high school and I am probably emotionally only about 15-16 at most anyway!)

Yesterday I wore a skirt I haven't worn since last January. Last January I was at least 20 pounds heavier than I am now and the skirt was, well, if we are being kind we could say it was snug, if we are being honest ,it made me look like 10 pounds of sausage in 5 pounds of casing, as my mother would say.

"Casing", for those of you that weren't raised by hillbillies like I was, is the layer of, usually intestine, that you put the ground sausage in to make links. I know, disgusting. Now you probably will never eat sausage again, so I won't go into what goes into the "ground" part . Ick! anyway if the casing is too small you get a taut, lumpy, about to burst appearance to your links.

You can thank me later for the lovely visual.

Anyhoo, back to my story...

Yesterday I wore said skirt and it actually fit like it was supposed to and, if I say so myself, and since I am the only one typing here I guess I DO say so myself, I looked quite fetching in it. I got several compliments and a few turned heads. Ha! It was kind of nice.

Unfortunately, my pretty skirt and pink sweater did NOT make biology any more interesting to high school sophomores, so that part of my day didn't go any better, BUT the rest of the day was nice! Which leads me to my next category... (like my new segue system!)

Teaching vent

*sigh*

This is going to make me sound old, but we didn't act like this when I was in school. Maybe this was in large part because I was a nerd and nerds are in classes with other needs and we all typically do whatever the teacher tells us.

Why must I TELL students to take out their pencils and paper? Why must I re-tell said students three times to take out their pencils and paper to get approximately 85% of the class to do so? Why must I tell students everyday that, no, I do not loan out pencils or paper (and technically, if they actually do the assignment paper would not be a "loan" anyway) and that they are expected to bring these materials to class everyday? And finally, why do they honestly think that because they came unprepared for class it is an excuse and perfectly ok to sleep/text message their friends/talk to their neighbor/stare blankly at the wall/etc. instead of take notes or do whatever assignment we are all working on?

Some days feel like I show up to work, strap 36 dead birds around my neck and slog through the period (95 minute periods mind you!) until the merciful bell rings and allows me to untie the birds and let them shuffle from the classroom. Then 36 more dead birds show up and the process starts all over again.

Ok, enough of that.

Exercise

Treadmill (41 minutes)
Run 4 miles (!!) (10:15 min/mile Hoo Hah!)

Pilates Class (1 hour)
Umm.. I don't think I am flexible/strong/coordinated enough for this.

Food

Breakfast
(1) English muffin
coffee
(2) NO TIME! Cherub central! "Teacher, I want..., I need..., You didn't.., How come...?" blah, blah, blah

Snack
apple
snack pack of dried mango pieces
snack pack of dried plums (sounds so much nicer than 'prunes')

Lunch (late)
Sushi (rough day)
Golden Bell Roll (I know, I know...)
Tamago
Diet coke

Snack
none

Dinner
JC Cheesy Enchilada (the lunch I ditched to have sushi)

Snack
yogurt w/ 1/4 c. soy flax cereal

Cherub-free day!

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 15:43

Cherub-free day!

I took today off to rest my legs! Unfortunately some poor sub is being tortured as I relax, but they made their bed when they decided to be a high school substitute teacher. They had so many other career choices that offered more daily respect then HS substitute teacher like: telemarketer for timeshares, mime, roadie for Ozzfest, etc. Oh well, I wish him or her luck!

I am skipping weigh in today! I know, not a great idea, but it is what I am doing! I was dreading weigh in and when I was reading GCQMom's blog (I am going to pull a "Tracy" and plagiarize my own comment) I decided I am going to go and weigh in on Monday after the marathon. TOM is here and I haven't been particularly careful with my calories this week, so odds are it won't be an uplifting experience.

After the week I have had I honestly don't think I could handle if I gain this week. I may have to be escorted from JC in handcuffs for assaulting someone. Now, that would make a cool EP News item or You Tube video.

RBR cuffed and dragged from local Jenny Craig Center, the display screen from the electronic scale still clenched between her teeth. Terrified weightloss consultant is quoted as saying "she just went ballistic!"

Yeah, I think I will wait until Monday.

Theeeeey’re baaaaack!!

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 00:33

Theeeeey’re baaaaack!!

Well, school has started. I don’t know if I have ever mentioned this, but I am a high school biology teacher. This summer was the first time I took some time off and, while I still had to take some classes, I was off more than I have ever been. I was really worried about having that much time away from work because I struggle with depression. I was worried I might get myself in trouble. On the contrary, I had a great summer. With the exception of losing Winston I had great time and have started this school year feeling more relaxed and happier than ever.

I want to thank you all for your great support in my training and weight loss. I really enjoy reading everyone’s blogs and hearing their successes. It inspires me to continue this journey.

Anyhoo… after my 16 mile run on Saturday I laid around like a big, fat tuna all day Sunday. On Monday I went to the gym! Yes, you heard me right. Stacey, hater of all things “gym” went to the gym. I wanted to start right away on my goal to remain active throughout the school year and I know I will not go running in the dark and the cold once winter gets rolling. Therefore, I am going to go the gym at 5:30am to run on the treadmill. I went Monday and Wednesday this week and ran 2 miles each day (that is all I had time for since I run so slow). On Tuesday I went to track and did speed and core strength drills. It was hotter than hell!

I also started back to my Master’s classes at State. I have remained strong and am only taking classes and teaching classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. I almost caved into my old ways and added “just one class” on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but my run buddy and my hubby reminded my of my goal and I didn’t add the class. Yay me!

I have WI at JC tomorrow and my eating has been excellent except for a Chevy’s dinner tonight. That damn Mexican food gets me every time. I just LOVE it. I will let you know how it goes.

Well, I have 5 days of blogs to get caught up on, so I better get reading! Have a great night!