Boys, cover your ears

Is it a rule that I have to get a cold and my period right before EVERY marathon I do?! Ok, I have only done 2, but I am 5 days out from my 3rd, DAMN IT! It happened before both marathons and it is now looking like I am on schedule to make it a three-peat.

Plus, I am a crazy, PMS nightmare. Lucky students, lucky husband.

I need to go running and to my pre-masters swim class, but I would rather eat an entire pizza, wash it down with a chocolate cake, and take a nap.

Oh God, I am doing a triathlon tomorrow

How did it escape my attention that I am doing my first triathlon of the season this weekend?!

I mean, I knew it was there on the schedule, I had made some plans around it, but it wasn't until the kids asked what I was doing this weekend that I thought, "Crap! I am doing a triathlon this weekend!"

I can run. Give me a pair of shoes and a race number and I am off, but swim/bike/run? All in a row?

I don't feel ready for this.


List of my concerns in no particular order:

1. It is a sprint, but a long sprint (3/4 mi. swim/16 mile bike/5 mile run). Eek. Upside the swim is in a lake, meaning no sharks, not as cold (60-65 degrees), and no rip tide to flush you to your death.

2. It is, however, a "water start" and I, frankly, have no idea what this means other than, I assume, you are in the water when you start. *shrug*

3. I am in the last wave, which means that I will be the last fucking swimmer out of the water. Awesome.

4. California is currently in the middle of a heat wave and it is HOT. I have not done so well training in the heat (read: I have been a miserable, whiny baby)

5. No one is doing this with me. Well, except the other 1000 people, but I do not KNOW them! They won't listen to me whine about how much I hate the swim, they don't care that I am hot, they won't help me find my transition area, or the body markers, or, or, ... *sniff*

I'll stop. Sorry.

Pity Party - Table for 1

The eating is out of control. My exercise is going great, but I can't seem to get the eating under control and my weight is skyrocketing. I was wearing these jeans yesterday that seriously threatened the circulation to my lower half. It was like being wrapped in denim Saran Wrap for the entire day. I feel disgusting and I don't want to feel this way.

On one hand I am very proud of myself for the training I have been doing. It makes me feel happy and good about myself. I am more fit than I have EVER been in my entire life. Hell, I am more fit than I ever conceived possible in my entire life, but I keep "rewarding" myself with food that is REALLY bad. The sneak eating is in full addiction mode and the portions are WAY out of control. It is not just what I am eating (and believe me, that is bad enough for me to gain weight) but it is also HOW MUCH I am eating.

Bad stuff and huge amounts of it = jeans no fit anymore.

I am debating on whether just to go back to Jenny Craig or maybe try Weight Watchers. I am beginning to doubt I can ever learn how to eat like a normal person. Why do I always have to get to THIS point? Why can't I just make a few unhealthy choices, realize that is not the direction I want to go in and reign it back in?

I am getting the opportunity of a lifetime to go to Africa this summer with my family and I don't want to go feeling like this. I have to pack those lightweight, khaki, travel type pants that never fit me right anyway, and if my weight is like this (or really, if I stay this course it will be much worse) I will be uncomfortable the whole time.

Poor, poor pitiful me.

Boomerang Flu

My husband and I call it the Boomerang Flu when you start to feel better, try to get up and do a few things and then WHAM you are down for the count again. That is what happened yesterday. The aches came back and I just generally felt like crapolla. So I spent most of the day watching seriously bad movies

(Saving Silverman: When will I learn that Jack Black is just not funny enough for a feature length film? I want him to be Jim Belushi (as does he), or John Candy, or even Chris Farley, but alas it is not to be. He has moments but he can't carry a role in a movie, plus the movie itself was just awful. Yes, of course, I watched the whole thing.)

and seriously bad TV (Sex in the City: When did being slutty become cute and fashionable? I sound like a prude, believe me I am not, but come on! It is a show about teenage hormones and angst at 35. *eye roll*)

I have eaten a sum total of about 1000 calories since Tuesday and slept about 100 hours in the same time.

I. Am. Over. It.

It is time to be better! I want to go running, I want to ride my bike, for the love of God, I even want to go swimming! Please! Enough of this flu! I want to feel better NOW!

(Folks, we have officially reached the 'high drama' stage of sickness, as you can see. Don't worry she hasn't eaten much she will wear her, hysterical, self out in a moment)

*Sniff*

I have even accused poor Willie of being a faker (He did run 5 miles in 35 minutes mere moments after his sickness, chased down frolicking college boys, had time to flirt with and pass the cute, fast girl of last week's race, AND is pictured holding a pretty hefty trophy from the race. I am just sayin'...)

Well, I wanted a break, but not this way...

Poor me. I have the stomach flu. I thought the marathon had caught up with me, because I was so tired, but I guess I was getting the flu.

Picture: Cleopatra's Deathbed (a smidge dramatic, sure, but I feel pretty damn bad!) Random Trivia Moment: One of the stories of her death is that Cleopatra committed suicide after Octavian invaded Egypt and all of her armies defected. She used the venom of the Egyptian Cobra. She decided on this particular venom after having several species of venomous snakes tested on her servants and observing their deaths. What a sweetie!

Tuesday after AP Parent night at school I was headed to the gym to do my swim and I started to feel like I had eaten something bad. It has all been down hill from there. The all over body aches are the worst part. I have never hurt, all over, this bad. Ever heard the expression, "so bad that my hair hurts"? Yeah, that bad. Plus. I haven't eaten anything since Tuesday at 2 pm except for a 1/2 a peanut butter sandwich that my husband hounded me into eating at 8 o'clock last night and that made me VERY ill. I hope he is guilt ridden. I am sure you are shocked to discover that I am a 'mean sick'.

Anyhoo, now you KNOW I am sick. We are approaching 48 hours of next to no food.

So I have missed some trainings. Workout for the week: Tuesday: none, Wednesday: none Thursday: will also be none. Since I am actually awake today (I literally slept 23 hours of yesterday, it is 11:30 and this is my first time awake today) I am hoping I can go swim tomorrow. I am trying to talk myself out of swimming and going for a run, because, frankly, I would rather run. However, since I am running on Sat and biking on Sun, I SHOULD swim on Friday. Did I mention before that I greatly dislike swimming?