The eating is out of control. My exercise is going great, but I can't seem to get the eating under control and my weight is skyrocketing. I was wearing these jeans yesterday that seriously threatened the circulation to my lower half. It was like being wrapped in denim Saran Wrap for the entire day. I feel disgusting and I don't want to feel this way.
On one hand I am very proud of myself for the training I have been doing. It makes me feel happy and good about myself. I am more fit than I have EVER been in my entire life. Hell, I am more fit than I ever conceived possible in my entire life, but I keep "rewarding" myself with food that is REALLY bad. The sneak eating is in full addiction mode and the portions are WAY out of control. It is not just what I am eating (and believe me, that is bad enough for me to gain weight) but it is also HOW MUCH I am eating.
Bad stuff and huge amounts of it = jeans no fit anymore.
I am debating on whether just to go back to Jenny Craig or maybe try Weight Watchers. I am beginning to doubt I can ever learn how to eat like a normal person. Why do I always have to get to THIS point? Why can't I just make a few unhealthy choices, realize that is not the direction I want to go in and reign it back in?
I am getting the opportunity of a lifetime to go to Africa this summer with my family and I don't want to go feeling like this. I have to pack those lightweight, khaki, travel type pants that never fit me right anyway, and if my weight is like this (or really, if I stay this course it will be much worse) I will be uncomfortable the whole time.
Poor, poor pitiful me.