"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Monday, January 3, 2011

Oh, for the love of Pete!

The compassionate and downright hysterical comments I received on my last post, remind me why I love this strange medium we call the Blogosphere. Thank you all. I know that I am a piss poor Bloggy buddy these days, but your support has helped me through some pretty dark hours this past 12 months.

I have been pretty open about the fact that I thought 2010 was about as fun as a thumb tack and saw dust enema, but Pam reminded me of one very important fact about 2010...

...it could have been so much fucking worse.

I was not going to do a year end post at all, but I decided to post about things that did NOT happen in 2010.

Things that I am grateful did NOT happen in 2010: 

My husband did NOT die of cancer, nor did he get worse.

My best friend did NOT go blind, nor did she have a brain tumor.

My mother did NOT die of a pulmonary embolism, nor does she have any permanent damage to her lungs.

I did NOT spend the summer sitting on my ample arse feeling sorry for myself.

Let's see... what else have I got?

Ah, I did NOT, despite my very best efforts, gain more weight than my now almost 7 months pregnant best friend. 

I also did NOT have all of my limbs slowly gnawed off by carnivorous, three toothed wood nymphs... so, that certainly goes the 'win' column for 2010.

2010 Exercise Totals: 

Running: 597 miles

WAY shy of my secret 1000 mile goal. Let's be honest, I have had that goal for several years now and have NEVER met it, but it is more than last year. And yes, SQ, that is less than half of your mileage. In the interest of full disclosure, I am probably less than half your IQ as well. :)

Cycling: 1491 miles

About 500 miles less than last year, but ok. 

Total Miles: 2088 miles

Overall, the exercise front was better than I thought before I ran the numbers. I sometimes get caught up in comparing myself to others.  As if by not doing as much activity, or not being as dedicated, or not showing as much as improvement as [insert whatever person I am judging myself by] it lessens my own accomplishments.

Fuck that.

I am an active person. Am I the most active person I know? Not even close. By the same token, I am also not the smartest, the nicest, the funniest, the prettiest, the most selfless....etc etc.  My life is not a contest, why do I treat it like one? 

When my body turns into a pile of decomposing goo, does it really matter how I ranked in this pretend race? No. What matters is how I feel about me today.

I have spent YEARS of the only life I get, sitting on my ass constantly physically and/or emotionally beating the shit out of myself. I have worked hard on many fronts to be a different person. Am I perfect? Fuck no. Am I a hell of a lot better than I was? Fuck yes. In many ways.

Yet, I still tend to be the meanest person I know...

...to me.

(ok, and maybe a few other assholes, but they most likely have it coming and this is about me, so let's stay focused, people!)

2011 Resolution

Be nicer to me

I want to do this so that I can be the happy, mentally healthy person that my incredible friends and family deserve to have in their life.  

Oh, and about the title of this post. Today at school I was fighting to get my printer to get it to stop printing page after page of random garbage (Just to let you know what a piece of shit this thing is and how angry it makes me, I have punched it hard enough to split my knuckle. Twice.) and in a fit of frustration, without any students present I yelled "Oh, for the love of Pete!" As you can probably surmise from my more colorful language choices on this blog, this would not be a typical exclamation from me. My mom used to say that phrase all the time when I was younger (I know, you are shocked that my mom would ever need to shout in exasperation). I have not heard her say it in a long time. It cracked me up that it was my 'go to' phrase, so I thought I would share.


Aka Alice said...

OMFG...am I First? Quick hit "publish" I'll be back!

Aka Alice said...

Ok then... last comment on the previous post, I must have the most freekin' exciting Monday nights on record...

I too have hit printers at school.

I was serious about the address. I will stalk you...

Happy New Year RBR and again. I am sorry about Glaven.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Geez, after reading AQA ALEECE's comment, I went back to your post to see where it said, under the rubric Things that I am grateful did NOT happen in 2010

"Glaven did NOT continue to exist."

But I didn't see it so I must still be alive.

Hahahahaha! FUCK YOU, AQA ALEECE!1!

Speaking of the rubric Things that I am grateful did NOT happen in 2010 ... and this sentiment: "When my body turns into a pile of decomposing goo ..."

I hafta ask: Are you SURE you're not Irish?

I also did NOT have all of my limbs slowly gnawed off by carnivorous, three toothed wood nymphs...

Too bad! That woulda been HAWT!1! Three-toothed, huh? So ... probably relatives of Cletus. So maybe not so hawt, on second thought.

A total of 1491 miles is nothing to sneeze at, for the love of Pete!

Another thing to be thankful for in 2010? Your Mom doesn't say that anymore, so maybe she's not cheating on your dad with this Pete guy anymore.

O, girlfriend, I did SO go there!1!

Diana said...

"My life is not a contest".....whatever, you're just as competitive as the rest of us a-holes!!!
Nice post. So glad for the "what nots" for this past year!

StephB said...

We have a weightloss plan at work that is very positive and affirming and I was surprised how much I love the slogan.

"Know yourself better. Judge yourself less." : )

Good for you RBR. Hope you fixed the printer!

Ewa said...

2011 is going to be better, I know so. I believe life is a roller coaster and for me 2010 was a ride down (despite a long list of things that did NOT go wrong) so now it is time for some ups.
Happy New Year.

Lisa said...

Happy New Year. I know a lot of people for which 2010 sucked ass, myself included. I appreciate your positive take on your stressful year.

Here's to a wonderful 2011.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Oops! Your total for 2010 was 2088 miles!

My mistake.


Christi said...

I say "Fuck 2010!" Let 2011 begin and I love your goal! I, too, am my worst critic and I am really mean to myself. So let's both treat ourselves better this year!

Pam @ herbieontherun.com said...

So did United find your hat yet?

funderson said...

I just love this post... :)

SteveQ said...

First off - don't underestimate your intellect; I'm continually impressed that you have a pile of scientific papers you actually READ. My pile is just for show.

Second - You may not have had 1000 miles run, but you had about a dozen more races than I did and they all looked freakin' awesome (wait. was that me? where'd that phrase come from?)

Third - I said I was going to be nicer in 2011. So I guess I won't say that the new Oprah Winfrey Network is low on content: "Watch Oprah Nap," "Dr. Phil vs Dr. Oz Cage Fighting" and "Nazi Porn Product Placement Hour."

IronSnoopy said...

I'm late to the party, as always.

Bullet list:
*That your tooth has been rooted and shown who the boss is and/or you at least have an appt. to get 'er fixed on the 2011 dime.

*Tell your mom NO on Warfarin. Pay the $ for real Coumadin, or even Lovenox. And hugs to her 'cause that totally sucks. Oh, and Zensah compression sleeves aren't just for accents to your tri outfit. Get her some. Really helps with the pain and swelling.

*WAHOOO for Mr. RBR! In fact, he looks damnnnnnn good in your Hawaii photos.

Speaking o' which, yay for Hawaii trips! Brilliant.

Happy New Year, RBR. Be nice to you. You so deserve it.

Regina said...

What the hell is a wood nymph? I'm too lazy to Google.

Herself, the GeekGirl said...

As long as you are comparing numbers, it may interest you to know that I got all of about 308 miles of cycling in this year. Geh. So you covered more miles than I did, running and cycling combined.

As for useless resolutions, you could also follow my old tradition of determining what you will NOT do this year. Let's see, I will NOT drink wheat grass juice or anything in that virulent, awful shade of green; I will NOT start wearing thongs because I can not get over the impulse to keep pulling it out of, well, you know; I will not tell the next person that screams at me over the phone at work to fuck off because it's all un-professional and shit; I will not go off on some idiot parent and point out that nowhere in Dr. Spock's book of raising children does it talk about the utility of getting shitfaced and banging different guys on the couch in front of your kid; see what I mean? They're actually easier than resolutions. They're non-resolutions.

Jo Lynn said...

Yes, be nice to yourself. At least treat yourself as nice as you treat us (me).
Happy New Year my friend. ;)

Kathy said...

I just spent 3 horrific weeks in the SF Bay area and I think you need to change your list to 1) I did not shoot myself in the head because the weather SUCKS ASSSSS here and I just want to die and where oh where is the fucking sun and NO peeking out for 5 minutes and then 24:55 of gloom does Not a sunny day make and did I mention the weather up there sucks ass? I seriously wanted to die after about 4 hours.

So see, you SURVIVED that weather! A hell of a lot more than I could have done.

trailturtle said...

Absolutely BRILLIANT post...F'ing brilliant!

Like I said, I really admire the positive changes that you have made--YOU HAVE "worked hard on many fronts to be a different person," and YOU ARE "a hell of a lot better than [you were]."
Are you perfect? What is "perfect?" anyway...and...who the hell cares...I certainly don't!

["What matters is how I feel about me today."] You soooo... get it.
You should feel very proud of yourself...today.
Have fun, Ann

doctorval said...

It is the little things. You're the second person I've run across recently who tallies their annual mileage. I think I'm going to do that this year.

Willie said...

Does this mean we have to be nicer to you too? Hmmm, OK, I like that idea. You are great and it's about time you realized it.
That's a Pete load of miles! WOW!

Georgia Snail said...

lol, nice...but something tells me that your email addy has never needed to be "sold" to the porn spammers...

Shawn said...

You know, comparing my numbers to others always makes me "Bitchy" and it makes me want to quit. So I really had to quit doing that.

Here's to a lot more things NOT happening in 2011 :D