1. The "Could-not-find-their-own-ass-with-two-hands United Airlines who lost my luggage, canceled my claim calling it "resolved", then dicked me around for 3 and a half more weeks" Saga:
They found my luggage! A mere month after my own arrival home, my beloved pink Puma hat is home safe and sound. Although it, along with everything else in my luggage, smells a bit like overripe pineapple. (Mental note: Next time leave the stupid pineapple in the hotel.)
This is wrong. I should not find this funny or cute. Nor should I endorse the taking of such a picture by putting it on my blog.
2. I have a student teacher this semester. By time second semester comes around I am running around like my ass is on fire with AP and the state standardized exams looming, committee commitments coming to a head, and teenage educational apathy is reaching its mid-year crescendo.
I am hoping that a bright eyed, eager beaver newbie teacher will shame me into getting my shit together. As I have said, my ego is probably the only reason I have accomplished anything in my life.
Yeah, yeah.. it is supposed to be about the children and their education... blah, blah, blah...
Anyhoo, while my first semester curriculum is neatly organized in folders on my hard drive, with a neatly maintained binder of student handout originals, lesson plans, and standards alignment on my desk, my second semester curriculum is a veritable hot mess. From the end of January to June, I find myself scrambling when planning to find something, and more often than I care to admit, just recreating activities and lessons out of frustration. I figured a student teacher would force me to get my second semester stuff in order like my first semester curriculum.
I view my decision to take on a student teacher akin to those people that get a puppy so they will exercise. I just hope she does not end up a fat, untrained Labrador locked in the backyard.
I do have to share a "fun" student interaction when I introduced my young, beautiful student teacher to the class:
Ms. RBR: Everyone, I would like to introduce Miss. K...
Student in front row: Is she your daughter?
I look up at my student teacher who stands a foot and a half taller than me, has bright blue eyes, dark brown hair, and legs up to her neck.
Ms. RBR in her best arrogant asshole, teacher voice: No, Mendel, this is our new student teacher.
*sigh* Clearly I did a bang up job teaching the concept of heredity.
3. My tooth woes: I had my double root canal last week. It was about as fun as ... well, ... a fucking double root canal.
Lucky for me it is only half done and I get to go back next Monday to finish both teeth. Then I get to schedule the gum surgery and the crowns. It is the gift that keeps on giving.
Goddamn, mother fucking, stupid ass $3000.00 granola cluster.
4. I have started yet another diet program. I know, my annual "Hey look! I gained back all the weight from last year's diet" Diet is a tad early this year. I usually do not need to do this until March.
What can I say? I am an overachiever.