Ride Report: Bike 4 Breath - Foster City, CA

Jo Lynn asked me if I wanted to do this ride about a month ago (I realize I always say "about a month ago" and, honestly, I don't know when any of this shit happened.) I asked LA Run Buddy if she wanted to join us and she said she was in!

Details:

Total distance: 65.25 miles
Total ride time: 4:53:20
Total climb: 3200 ft. (from the ride sheet. I forgot my Gamin. I know, sacrilege)

Bike 4 Breath is a fundraiser for Breathe California which is an organization that"promote[s] lung health and clean air polic[ies] in the greater Bay Area" (no, I don't know what that means they do either. I just copied it from the website. Whatever. I am sure they do good stuff)

The girls getting ready to head out. I just LOVE the fact that I am the only one sporting the uber cute melon head look.

It seemed an apropos ride for me to do, since the only reason I do any of this fitness stuff is because when I was diagnosed with asthma 6 years ago my pulmonologist told me that if I did not change my sedentary, 'work/go to school/study/sleep-ish/work more' lifestyle, he predicted I would be hauling around an oxygen tank to breathe by age 50. Sooo not cute.

It took me about a year after that before I decided, "Hey, I NEVER exercise, I can not run for more than 3 minutes, have not swum since high school, and the only use my $25 bike in the garage has is as a laundry rack for the last 15 years, I think I will do a triathlon!" the rest, as they say, is history.

Jo Lynn had her own reasons for riding today.

We had a slightly rocky start when we went off course only 2 miles into the ride. I do have to say that other than this one problem, the course markings for this ride were excellent, but the written ride sheet was ridiculously bad. It relied on in depth, insider knowledge of the local area to decipher the turns. Here is a direct quote from the ride sheet:

"Turn left on bike pedway that leads under the fashion Bridge overpass. After riding under overpass, continue on bike path "T" intersection, veer left toward Point Royal park. At the "Y' intersection after Point Royal Park, look for the rock with THREE oblique angles, two of these angles must NOT be acute angles. There will be a duck on top of the rock. Ask the duck where the fuck to go next."

Ok, I made up the part about the rock and the duck, but goddamn.

Finally on the bike pedway ( I guess 'pedway" is more politically correct and does not discriminate against those traveling by foot, like the archaic term "bike path" *eyeroll*)

Anyhoo, the ride was beautiful and for most of it the weather stayed pretty cool. It can be hotter than a mofo out there, but we got lucky yesterday.

As you know, when I ride I am ALL about safety, so all of my pictures were taken while riding. Usually in traffic.

Taken over my head and shooting behind me. LA Run Buddy was saying, "that is not going to work" HA!

Jo Lynn action shot

LA Run Buddy aka, 'the Yellow Blurr' ( I LOVE this picture. She cracks me up)

My white pelicans are back! Side note of snarkiness: Jo Lynn and LA Run buddy dropped me like a bad habit when I stopped to take this picture.

About 40 miles in LA Run Buddy and I hear Jo Lynn scream and see her grab at her shirt. Apparently, a bee (hereafter referred to as the LBA, 'luckiest bee alive' You will just have to trust me on this one) flew into her sports bra. I rode up along side her and tried to help her dislodge the LBA. We were both clipped into our pedals and could not stop without falling over. Jo Lynn tells me to grab her shirt to get the bee out, but I can't do that without causing us to wreck (I know, missed opportunity. G may never forgive me) so I just grabbed her handle bars and stopped us both and she was able to free the LBA, but sadly not before the little bastard stung her.

Yes, where you think. Ouch.

[No, there are no pictures. Big pervs!]

During the ride, we saw several couples riding together on this beautiful day. How sweet and romantic, right?

Well, I am here to tell you there were several men in this category that I can assure you DID NOT get any that night. I have done enough of these endurance events and have seen enough couples that think it would be soooooo fun to run a marathon, ride a century, go on a trail run, etc. together, and many of these end badly.

I decided to help you fellas out. (Ladies, if you can think of any others feel free to add them in the comment section. It is public service we are doing here. God's work, really)

Here is RBR's list of shit NOT to do during an endurance event with your wife, girlfriend, or love interest, if you want to have ANY chance of getting laid in the near future:

1. DO NOT ride or run 20 yards ahead and constantly harp at them to "keep the pace" or say encouraging things like "we are losing time", or "Come on. Are you getting tired, or what?"

2. DO NOT leave them to ride to the top of the climb, stop, look back with your hand on your hip, and watch them struggle up the hill, only to ride off when they get within 20 feet of you.

3. DO NOT constantly (or even occasionally) spout off pace calculations, and inform your partner of how much faster they need to run/ride in order to hit YOUR time goal for the event.

4. DO NOT skip aide stations or rest stops to make up time unless your partner suggests it. And if she does, the correct response is "Damn. You are so hardcore!"

Ego or sex. You decide. You only get to have one after an endurance event with your partner.

[steps off soapbox]

It was a great ride with some great ladies!

Relay for Life

Later that night I went to support my Run Buddy at Relay for Life, which is a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. She was the overnight chaperone for our school's Key Club. (Yes, she is a fucking SAINT. You will never see me doing an overnight chaperone gig with high school students EVER and she did it in the fucking SUMMER. Saint, I tell you!)

She made my hubby a luminary (a white bag that they put a candle in around the track. Not to sound ungrateful or disrespectful, but paper bag and open flame? Who could have predicted the startling number of luminaries that burned to the ground?)

My hubby got me a radioactive symbol shirt and I wore it in his honor. He wanted me to take a picture of his luminary with me in the shirt.

Ok, I will give you this one, G, I totally look like a dude. I was a little tired.

We walked for about 2 and half hours and then my lazy ass bailed and left her to watch over the cherubs. Such a peach of a friend!

Sunday morning run

LA Run Buddy went out to Baylands to run. She ran 5 miles with me and then went to a World Cup Party and I continued on to run a total of 10 miles. She is still struggling with her knee issues, so this was a nice compromise.

All in all a pretty successful weekend.