"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Fresh Ink

Hubby Update

On Tuesday my husband had his final CT scan to create his IMRT (intensity modulated radiation therapy) plan. This is done to calibrate exactly where the radiation will be delivered. This is pretty damn important in all cases as you certainly do not want to irradiate anything that is not intended to be irradiated, but in the case of my hubby with prostate cancer I find it SUPER important.

You best not be frying the goods, Mr. Doctor man!

The doctor comes in to talk to us and I hit him with my customary 50,000 questions and he watches me warily as I furiously scribble his answers into my notebook. He has already joked that I make him nervous.

They complete the planning by marking his body with tattoo ink to show where the beams are to be aimed. I had to wait in the lobby while all this was going on, so I decided to mess with the receptionist who is sharp as a tack and super cool.

RBR: Ummm, I understand that they want to tattoo my husband for this procedure. I am very concerned about that. *blink, blink*

For those that do not know here is a pic of my husband

Goddamn, he is hot. Sorry, what was my point....
Oh yeah, he has a few tattoos already.

Receptionist: Oh honey, don't worry the tattoos are very tiny. You won't even notice them.

RBR (wide eyed): If they desecrate his body like that, do you think he will still get into Heaven?

Receptionist (keying in on the fact that I was messing with her): *arches her brow* You sure he was getting in before, sweetie?

My husband comes out as we are cackling like two old biddies. I IMMEDIATELY ask to see the tattoos. Which causes the poor Radiation Technician to blush profusely, the receptionist to resume cackling, and my husband to give me the look.

No, not that one. Not the good 'the look'. The 'What-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you? look'.

Whatever. I thought it was funny.

He also refused to let me take pictures for the blog. Cha', and he is supposed to be the cool one.

In all seriousness...

The radiation will start in about 2 weeks. They estimate the radioactive seeds that were implanted a month ago have discharged about 90% of their radiation into his prostate. The doctor also told us that the radioactive seeds were supposed to have much more side effects than the external beam radiation. That made us feel really good because hubby has sailed through that part pretty trouble free.

He is continuing on the hormone therapy which is BY FAR the worst fucking part of this thing (well, except for the whole he has cancer part, but you know) however, there is an end in sight for that. He may have to have one more Lupron shot which would take the hormone therapy out through November (they are 3 month injections), but after that he should be able to get off of it. Each shot gets worse in terms of side effects and increases the risks of more permanent problems, so he is understandably anxious to get off that shit.

Anyone that is going through this is free to email me and I can be more candid about it. It is tough on everyone involved, so if you have questions or just need to vent to someone that gets it, my email is available

Run Buddy Update

We had to go the neurologist today on kind of an emergency basis and there are some more complications. She had to go on more serious medication, but they are very hopeful that they can save her vision.

RBR Update

I can't remember the last time I slept more than 3 hours in a row.

My husband has cancer and my best friend is fighting to keep from going blind. Uh, yeah, I am fine.


Neil Zee said...

Take care, take a nap, they know you are there for them. You are a rock.

Anonymous said...

Terrifying for all involved. My thoughts are with you all.

Diana said...

I'm sure you feel that your plate is not just full, it's overflowing. God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. I'm not going all "religious" on you or anything, but just saying. You're strong, your family and friends need you, it's what we do.
Just think ahead of the times you, your hubby and friend will be having together after all this!

Anonymous said...

I want to meet that receptionist!

Unknown said...

Not an easy time in your life, that's for sure. Good thing you have running and cycling as a well needed distraction every now and again.

Christi said...

I just want you to know again that my thoughts are with you, your husband and your best friend!

Unknown said...

So sorry to hear you're having so much troubles. Know that you're not alone in this and, as I've learned with my puppy chemo, ASK FOR HELP! Anything to take your mind off things for a moment helps. Sorry I don't live closer or I'd be there with Jersey. She gives good suggies (sugar-kisses). Keep smilin'!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

I don't know how you find the strength to be so funny when all this stuff is going on, but I think keeping your sense of humor through it all is probably more salubrious than a good night's sleep.

That said, get a good night's sleep!

O, yeah ... "salubrious"? That was just for you. As payment for not posting those pix of your husband's tattoo'd 's@ckal areas.

Also, I thought you should know that MY bod is hotter than Jebus's and I look even better than He does in a diaper.

Who's going to Hell now?

Tricia said...

my thoughts are with you, your friend and hubby

C said...

Your hubby is all kinds of awesome and you, my dear lady, are amazing.

Seriously, if I could handle a situation like this with even half of your humor and strength, I'd be super proud.

Also, I totally love the Blasphemy demotivational. Hope you don't mind if I steal it. That would be a double whammy though, no? :)

Needlerunning said...

Just wanted to drop in and say that you are amazing.

Your hubby and run buddy our in my thoughts.

Indi said...

Stay strong!! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It seems tough now, but this too shall pass!! Your strength is amazing!

Katie said...

sending you a hug and a giant cookie on a plate.

Maryland Girl aka Michelle said...

As always keeping you and hubby in my thoughts. And now your run buddy. Whew! Keep up the humor! Hugs to you!!!

Unknown said...

Take care of yourself through all of this, RBR. We are holding your loved ones up in prayer and good thoughts!


SteveQ said...

Unlike Diana, I think God does give us more than we can handle - that's why he gives us each other.

When I took care of my mother during her final illness, I never really slept for more than 2 years; you'll get through it and later you'll wonder what to do with all your extra time (hint: sleep).

Odd fact for the day: one can't be buried in a traditional Jewish cemetery if you have a tattoo - the exception being concentration camp survivors. (Now the odd part: I think this is typical dinner conversation)

Let me know if there's anything I can do to help, like not fall off a cliff (again).

Generation X (Slomohusky) said...

First, sorry about the sleep deprivation. Try to find it when you can. Stay strong and humor going. Most Doc's I know have great respect for patients or family members who ask.

BTW - did you really think you could slip a Seattle top of the Space Needle shot by me without noticing?!

SteveQ said...

Still looking for a bad pic of me to make you laugh. This'll do for now: http://www.runningintheusa.com/Photo/View.aspx?PhotoID=12067

Lindsay said...

i admire you for not losing one beat of your sense of humor through this all. i know i can't imagine how tough it is, but i do know you are strong.

we are here for you too! don't hesitate to ask for anything, ever.

Kate Geisen said...

The doctor is nervous around you and his staff loves you. I think that's a pretty good recipe. You, your husband, and run buddy are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sammie Girl said...

Every time I have to deal with something stressful I start cracking jokes and I am glad to see you are able to do the same thing. I applaud your strength and by the looks of your blog alone, you have a lot of people who are there for you. You, your hubby and your running buddy are all in my thoughts and prayers!

Isela said...

My thoughts are you with you girl. I am wishing for the best for your hubby. You are such a trooper to make everything feel so light, but we know that you are just trying to keep your spirits up.

And...I cannot believe he didn't want pics of his new tats on the blog *blink* hehehe.

Kelly said...

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, your hubby and your friend. I am keeping tabs on you and you are often in my thoughts. Here are som BIG hugs from Las Vegas.

BTW...your comments on Izaac's posts crack me up ;-)

IronSnoopy said...

Ok, so I totally kept reading because I was seriously expecting to see THE picture of THOSE tats. What the hell?!

I'm sorry for the tremendous stress that you're under right now. You're one of the strongest people on the planet -- but sometimes it's hard to be the strong one.

You will get through this. Laugh at it, make us laugh at it, cry, scream, run like a lunatic, take photos (and a Tylenol PM fer chrissake!) and lean on others. That's how you survive.

Totally here for ya. ((( )))

Jo Lynn said...

I laugh at the picture in my head of you scribbling doctor's notes in your notebook. I can only imagine the stress that doc goes through. ;)

Regina said...

You need some taking care of too. All this is/will be hard on you too. You also can't tend to the ones you love if you are not up to par.

Do what you need for you so you can do for others. Even if it means venting in a post...oh wait, you already do that, every post, about everything...ha! One of the reasons I love coming back. Take care of yourself.

Anne said...

It amazes me everytime I read your posts and end up smiling...when the things you are telling us about are really not so funny. You are an amazing woman...I think you deserve a nice nap now.

Irene said...


Hang tight! Sending positive thoughts.

Drs. Cynthia and David said...

And yet you manage to keep your sense of humor through all these travails. You're awesome!

Good luck to hubby and run buddy.


Kendra said...

Sending good thoughts in the direction of RBR, RBR's husband, and RB. You never cease to impress me. I came here for the laughs but I stay because you are pretty damn cool.

Southbaygirl said...

Please give Hubby a big ass hug from me. Yeah, I know he doesnt know me but I'm nice and I give good hugs!!! And while you're handing out my hugs, head on over to Run Buddy and squeeze her hard!!!

WTF...seriously-you are a rockstar for keeping your head above water with everything that is going on! I know why you've been exercising! You have to!!

As always I am thinking about Hubby-it is a good thing he has you to add a bit of humor to it all. Because I know a little laughter and humor will go a long way!!!

I hope the new tattoos(is that spelled right??) looked good-damn him for not allowing you to take a picture!!

Sending my thoughts up north!!!

Katie A. said...

So far behind - but am trying to catch up!
Glad to hear things are going as smoothly as possible ;) Huggs!
Can't wait to hang with ya on Sunday!!!

Tina Mickelson said...

(((HUGS))) I'm praying for you all.