Story 1: The New Kid
I am a high school teacher and it is June. My habits, idiosyncrasies, nuances, and mannerisms as they relate to my mood have been studied and mentally recorded by all of my students. They know what makes me laugh, how to weasel out of trouble (usually this is very closely related to 'what makes me laugh'), what buttons to push to make me crazy without killing them, and what will make me decide I am willing to go to prison to get to kill one of them. (They also know that if I am going to prison anyway I will probably take out more than one, so once that happens they should run like hell.)
Honestly, if they spent even half the time studying biology that they did studying how to get me off topic during lecture most of them would be phD's by now.
So you can imagine their horror as they witnessed this classroom scenario yesterday:
Ms. RBR suffering from low blood glucose as a result of high doses of prednisone (despite my title, it is a corticosteriod, not the type of steroid that causes 'roid rage and bodybuilders use to shrink their testicles....err... I mean, get bigger muscles) she is taking for her asthma, takes out a yogurt and starts to eat it during class.
New Kid (added 2 weeks ago, got kicked out of his previous school, and has NO chance of getting credit for biology, but must go to school to appease his probation officer and is therefore, just there to be babysat and be a pain in my ass):
"Hey! Why do you get to eat in class?! So that means we all can eat in class, right?" *snearing grin at class, hoping they will rally behind him*
Seasoned Students of class: *looks of terror, knowing if I am eating class my current mood is one step away from "prison ain't so bad."* "Dude, shut up!"
Ms. RBR (in what she hopes will be taken as the warning it is): "Work on your activity, please."
New Kid: " 'Cha. Not very professional to be eating in class." *snorts, looks for class support*
Seasoned Students of Class: *staring more intently at their papers than they ever have, hoping it will all just go away*
Ms. RBR: *sets down yogurt, evil grin* "You are right. It is not. This is YOUR time. Time that I should be using to assess just how much progress you have made this year so that we can create a comprehensive plan for how you should best spend your time preparing for the final. Everyone, take out a piece of paper. Pop Quiz!"
New Kid: "So what? I ain't gettin' a grade for this class." *crosses arms, leaning back smugly*
Ms. RBR: *smiles sweetly* "No, you aren't getting a grade, but I bet you WILL be getting a lot of exercise at lunch today."
New Kid: *look of confusion*
Big, somewhat scary kid from back row: "Don't worry Ms. R, he will" *glowers at New kid*
New Kid: 0 Ms. RBR: 1
*For the record, I did not actually give the Pop Quiz, the students made New Kid apologize and the threat from Big, Somewhat Scary Kid made me laugh, so all was well.
They certainly have me figured out.
ADDED LATER... for the "why I still do this crazy ass job" category
Story 2 - One of my AP Biology students made a song about glycolysis as part of her final project. IT IS AWESOME!!
WARNING: This is for serious nerds only. It made me laugh until I cried this morning. And then I made them re-do it so I could video it. This is my first video attempt and first YouTube upload.
Her back up singer is her very sweet boyfriend who is not in my class, but like any true teenage boy was willing to do whatever his teenage girlfriend told him to do including dressing up in a tie at 7 o'clock in the morning and singing back up into a lamp.
**Disclaimer -She wanted me to post it on YouTube, so I figured it was ok to post. Plus I told her I was going to share it with my 'nerdy friends' (my bad, I know not all of your are nerds, but I suspect if you read my blog a high proportion of you are.) The kids, obviously, do not know about my blog.
16 hours ago