If the boredom doesn't kill me...

...the unbearable heat or my remarkably bad sense of direction will.

I am in Sacramento this week for an scintillating (see title) conference on learning models and teaching strategies for science. Try to not be jealous.

For those of you not familiar with the climate of Sacramento it is similar to the surface of the sun only drier. We walk all of three blocks to the convention center each morning and I end up looking like I have just run a marathon. No, come to think of it, I actually I look better after I have just run a marathon than I do when I get there.

I will spare you the excruciating details of my conference, but I must let go of one small bitch and then I will move on. I promise.

Why, oh, why, must teachers treat all other adults like children? This week I have spent over 32 hours "modeling" learning strategies. Which means they "teach" me to do things like draw a bubble map (don't ask, it is hugely unimportant) and then I get to make the bubble map. I got to use markers and glue sticks and everything!

Word of advice to teacher educators, when you talk to people like they are 15, they tend to act like it.

I did do a little exercise on Sacramento, so let's focus on that.

Tuesday: Run 5 miles - A Solo Tour of Sketchtown, USA

I had checked out a map of the area so I had an idea of where I wanted to go and I got up to run at 4:30 am. I head out and immediately go the wrong way. Not a good start. I got turned around and finally started to recognize the route I picked on the map. After I headed over the Tower Bridge I noticed a distinct change in the environment and a distinct increase in the number and severity of the homeless and crazy people.

Tower bridge. Very cool drawbridge leading across the American River. It leads from pretty downtown Sacramento to the less scenic West Sacramento
Picture stolen from bprlaw.net

Two and a half miles from your hotel is probably not the best time to figure out that running at 4:30 in the morning in a city that you are not familiar with is not the wisest of ideas. After I ran by my third bum if a full heroin nod, I decided running the full 6 miles was not all that important to me and I headed back to the hotel.

Wednesday: Bike 18 miles - The Bum Slalom

This time I decided to go after the daily conference festivities which was SUPER smart since it was only projected to 103 degrees that day. I tried to drive and park where I thought I could get on the American River Parkway, which is a 20+ mile bike path that I had read about. As you know if you have read this blog more than twice, I can't find my own my ass with both hands, and I was on the wrong side of the river. I did, however get a grand tour of the various homeless encampments along the American River.

Ferry (?) whatever, big ass boat thing, on the American River. The Tower Bridge is in the back. No, I was not brave enough to photograph the homeless encampments.

After 3 miles of back and forth and a lovely conversation with a young man possessing, at most, 4 teeth, no shirt, and pupils the size of quarters, I discovered that I was in fact on the wrong side of the river. It was one of those times when you are doing something and your mind is screaming at you "You should not be talking to this freak. This is how you end up on the news, dumbass!"

At the end of the conversation he did say that I was "looking REAL gooood" so it is nice to know that I am at least still attractive to toothless, gacked out of their mind, meth addicts.

Once I was finally on the bike trail I realized just how fucking HOT it was. The trail only rides along the river for a relatively short time before it gets far enough away to lose the cooling benefits of a large body of water.

Little warm, but finally back at Old Town Sacramento.

There were little pockets of shade but they were more of a teasing "Ha! It could be cooler like this, but it is NOT" than actually lowering your core temp and making you more comfortable. I stopped at a public bathroom and waited my turn in line after a homeless guy to take a bird bath in the water fountain to try to cool off. A little less than 8 miles in I bagged at and turned around. When I got back, my car was still there and no one was sleeping in it so I will take that as a "win."

Now, I am from San Jose and we have our fair share of homeless people, but they are our homeless people and I am fairly comfortable with their level of craziness. Crazy people when you are in a strange town are far more scary. I won't be returning to ride alone in West Sacramento any time soon.