17 hours ago
"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."
~ Anonymous (taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)
Saturday, March 22, 2008
A list of Shit I Should Just Never Do
1. Go jean shopping during post-illness depression and one week before my period.
2. Go jean shopping at the fucking mall. The land of Barbie Doll women that apparently got the style gene.
3. Go jean shopping in any store I have EVER heard my teenagers talk about. (e.g. Banana Republic, Nordstrom's, or the Gap)
4. Go jean shopping the day after one of my cherubs called me stupid, other cherubs blamed me for their grades, their lack of understanding the material (i.e. They don't get it because I am a bad teacher.), their inattentiveness (i.e. I am boring, so they don't listen), their bad behavior, global warming, etc...
5. Go jean shopping and look in the angled mirror at my ass in the new jeans (that of course would only apply to the ones I could get over my HUGE ass).
6. Go jean shopping and look in the angled mirror at my ass in the jeans I wore to the store (i.e. the jeans that EVERYONE has seen my ass in.)
7. Go jean shopping and look in the angled mirror at my ass in NO jeans. (i.e. What the fuck was I thinking?!)
I was going to write about this last night, but I am working on being more positive. That isn't working out so well for me.
Note: Picture above is NOT my ass (I know, you are stunned). Thank you Madison Avenue, for making me feel inadequate my entire fucking life because I don't look like this.