"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Dear Lucy,

The first time we met I went there to meet someone else.

There was a crowd around him, so I thought I would see what else was available.

You would not even look at me. You only had eyes for her, your foster mom.

I can understand. She loved you first. She took you in, scared, and painfully shy with your 4 newborn puppies. You paid your way, though. You raised two orphan puppies for her. Your tiny little 35 pound frame feeding 6 hungry puppies that would all grow up to be much larger than you. We even met one of your puppies in dog training, remember? He was huge and must have looked like his dad, but his new owners recognized you right off and thanked you for giving them such a beautiful dog to love. Ok, the part you remember is when they gave you Puperoni snacks, but trust me that is why.

That generous heart is why I knew you needed to come live with us. To help make us a family. And that you did.
 Lucy's first trip to the beach. She was still not sure about all of this, 1999. We adopted her as a 2 year old. I never got to see her as a puppy. I bet she was adorable. (Picture of a picture, we did not have digital in those days)

Your daddy was so afraid of having a dog. That you would be loud, or destructive, or dirty. You were none of those things. You were always a perfect lady.

Eddy always said, "No way would [he] have a dog in the bed!" Lucy changed that. 2003

He fell so hard for your big brown eyes and the way that you loved so deeply. All the tough guy persona just melted away when he was with you. Unless people were offended that you were not excited to meet them. Then he would tell them, "If you need my dog to validate your worth, you have bigger problems than my shy dog."God help the person that openly did not appreciate you around your dad.


Lucy and her daddy, 2007

You two hiked thousands of miles together. When he took up photography, you became one of the most photographed dogs in the world.

  Lucy forgot she was a shy dog in chest high grass. We titled this photograph, "Dog Wild".  It was taken with Eddy's first digital camera in 2003

You were his beautiful angel, no photograph was complete without you in it. Our friends may have tired of his constant email attachments showing you in various locales, but they would never admit it. Anywhere we went went that we could take you, you went. The perfect traveling companion. Throughout our marriage we stayed in more hotels with you than without you.

 Bodie Ghost Town, Mono Lake. 2009

 Yosemite, 2004 (I think)

Coeur d'Alene, ID 2009

  
Not her first time in snow, but she always loved it. 2008

Then there are the kittens. The plethora of orphan kittens that you helped me raise. Cleaning them, rounding them up, teaching them the rules. Floyd and Autumn still looked to you as a mommy figure although, as grown cats without food on their faces, you found them less interesting.

Lucy, Floyd, and Autumn on vacay in Tahoe. August 2006

 Floyd and Lucy, 2006 

As was your nature, you weathered the indignities placed upon you because you knew it made me happy. 

 Christmas, 2007

Halloween, 2002

Halloween, 2005

You aged gracefully and were never sick a day in your life. You bounded off the couch to warn us of the mailman's approach, or to greet us at the door, or to suggest that we go on one of your twice daily trips to the park. You accepted Lola with the graciousness you were known for and taught her the "Give me that thing" game where you would tempt us to take your toy or treat and then run away. You taught her how to go potty on command and where we wanted (no small feat with that stupid chuihuahua). We are forever changed by your time with us. 

Now that you have gone my heart hurts so much I try to not breathe. I feel as if I will be crushed by the pain of not touching you again, or hearing you snore at night, or feeling the overwhelming show of love you gave with your happy dance and "Owwww Ooooo oooooh"  greeting us when we come home. But if that is what I owe for the almost 13 years I was allowed to love and be loved by you, then it is worth it. Quite a bargain, actually.

 Goodbye, my love. You will be forever part of who I am.

I love you and thank you, 
Mom

**Lucy became suddenly ill on Friday night. Early this morning, after four days in the hospital, and the very best diagnostics and care by Lucy's veterinarian, (who loved her almost as much as we did. He is my old boss, and let me bring her to work at the hospital everyday for 2 years when we adopted her. He has been her doctor since day one) and the local emergency animal hospital, we had to do what was right for our girl and let her go.

37 comments:

Jenny Davidson said...

So sorry - beautiful pictures, beautiful post...

M said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Sending you lots of love during this difficult time. What a beautiful post in memoriam.

GeorgiaSnail said...

This breaks my heart.

I am so sorry for your loss, RBR. We are lucky to have been choosen by our 4-legged family members; it's never an easy decision, you made the right one.

IronSnoopy said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Tears for you, and smiles for the years of love and laughter she brought you.

Meet Lou said...

I'm so sorry your loss, RBR.

S said...

I've never commented on your blog before, but I feel the need to now. What a beautiful post, it's never easy, but hold onto those incredible memories and she'll never really be gone. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Kolla said...

Oh RBR..... I'm so sorry.

Diana said...

That sucks big time....I hate to hear when a beloved pet has lost his/her life. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
In a sick sense of humor and no better way to say this....I really want you to be the one to write my obituary!
Great post -hope your heart heals quickly-Lucy will always have a special place in your soul...

lindsay said...

nooo. i am so sorry rbr! :(

(i think lucy would be mad if you let a little chihuaua run the house from now on...)

Lisa said...

Oh, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet companion, Lucy.

I understand how much it hurts to have to say goodbye.

In time, may all the good memories replace the pain that you are feeling now.

*hugs*

Holly said...

I'm delurking to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I've been in your shoes and it hurts for a good while. You've written a beautiful tribute.

Ms. Duffy said...

I'm so sorry... you were so lucky to have such a good friend!

Pam said...

I'm commenting through a flood of tears...

I'm so, so, so sorry for your loss. She was an incredibly lucky dog to have had a family that cared for her so deeply.

Aka Alice said...

Oh honey... I am so very, very, very sorry for your loss.

((hugs))

Regina said...

I'm so sorry. I've been there, it's so hard to lose a pet. They are a huge part of our family. This was a lovely tribute to a special girl.

JnetRuns said...

I'm so sorry you lost your Lucy. What a beautiful memorial to her and such beautiful pictures.

Gina said...

So very sorry for your loss. :,( Wonderful post that brought tears to my eyes. And breaks my heart. May you find comfort in many happy memories.

Kate said...

Oh, no. :( I didn't see at all where this was going until about halfway through. Losing a beloved pet is so hard. I'm sorry your sweet girl is gone, and I know she was well loved while she was with you. So sorry.

LaraG said...

I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was a wonderful furry child and an important member of the family. How awful to have to make a decision like that, even when it is the right one. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

live better said...

Sorry to hear about your Lucy, I lost my Reba last July and still think about her every day. We also had to make the difficult decision to end her suffering. When I look at her picture now I smile because of all the joy and love she brought us over the 14 ½ years, sometimes the joy turns to tears but as time goes on they become happy tears. All good memories.

Christi said...

I am so sorry. I understand how hard it is because we lost our lovely Hannah in January. I am sending you love.

Great dedication to a lovely dog!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Xenia said...

Beautiful photos, beautiful dog, beautiful tribute. I feel your pain. I lost my 17 year old cat earlier this year. Tears the heart right out of you, but the heartache is worth it for all the years of unconditional furry love.

Carolina John said...

So sorry girl. It's obvious how much she meant to you. That was very well put.

TooeleTwins said...

You forget when you're playing fetch or taking them for a run or watching them play in the snow that someday that love and joy will be replaced with something that hurts like hell.

Sorry for your loss.
Kaye

SteveQ said...

Over the past couple of years, I've felt that I got to know Lucy; in some very very small way, I share your loss.

btw, you should hide your phone number on the dog tag in the one photo!

Jo Lynn said...

Oh girl. My heart breaks for you and Ed.
There's no way I can express how sorry I am. No way.

MF said...

I have never commented before, but this post brought me to tears. So sorry to hear about this. It sounds like Lucy had an amazing life with you!

bobbi said...

I am so sorry for your loss :(

What a beautiful tribute to a much loved friend...

Deb said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Lucy sounds like she was the best dog ever. Hang in there.

RoadBunner said...

I am so so sorry for your loss ((hugs))

Lucy was so lucky to have had all of you and it seems you were all very lucky, too.

doctorval said...

Godspeed Lucy, you were loved.

NadiaMac said...

never commented before, but your post is very moving and I am so sorry for your loss. NM

Carly said...

***sobbing***

I am so sorry! This was a beautiful post about your sweet Lucy.

S. Baboo said...

Heartbreaking news. Lucy seems like a particularly wonderful friend.

Kathy said...

Oh no. I rushed to the bottom of the post hoping against hope...

I'm so very very sorry.

kelly said...

I'm crying right now. I am so sorry because I know how much you hurt. Take care and enjoy her memories.