The little bastards got me sick again. I have only been sick once this year, and being as how high school teachers are second only to pre-school teachers and inner city needle exchange program volunteers in their exposure to an inconceivable number of pathogens, that is a bloody miracle (RBR now swearing in multiple dialects!).
However, I feel as if I must add, my snottastic self may be why I did not run this morning, but it is NOT why I have not run in a little over 2 weeks. I did have gum surgery which was, in a word, FUCKED. (Shut up, G) But I am not sure why I have not run other than that.
Therefore, in the interest of getting my famously, fat fanny*: 1. less fat and 2. back out on the trail where it belongs, I thought I would out my lethargic self (Again, shut it, G) on the old blog since it is here gathering dust.
In lieu of running, I offer you randomness...
Things I wish I had said recently....
1. "Wait, let me stop your blowing sunshine up my ass. If you are complimenting me as a way to segue into asking me to be on any committees, advisory councils, development boards, working groups, or planning boards the answer is...
...NOT ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LIFE!
But thank you for thinking of me."
What I actually said was: Sure. I can do that. Fucking hell.
2. "Why, yes, I have lost weight, thank you for noticing. What? That is not what you meant by 'Man, you look tired'? My mistake. I thought you were a socially competent person."
What I actually said was: *awkward laugh* I guess I have been burning the candle at both ends. *awkward laugh*
3. "Stepping closer to me and talking louder does not make you right. It makes you a fucking asshole, but it does not make you right."
What I actually said was: I guess we should agree to disagree. What a pussy I am *eyeroll*
4. "No, thank you, I do not want any today, but I would like to be able to enter the grocery store without feeling like I am selling children into the sex slave trade by not buying any of your fucking cookies."
What I actually said was: Sure. I will take 4 boxes. Fucking Girl Scout Gestapo
*My apologies to known self-blog title-loathing, alliteration hater, SQ.
4 hours ago