The following is a conversation with a coworker that has been known to describe me to others as an 'unstable hot-head', but before you shed too many tears at my expense, I have been known to describe him to him as a 'self-important prick.'
I am more of a cut-out-the-middle-man kind of gal when it comes to gossip and slander, and quite possibly an unstable, hot-head.
SIP: Hi, RBR! How are you? (He is not excited to see me, he needs something. Usually, if we are unfortunate enough to make eye contact we exchange head nods.)
RBR *struggling to get copy machine to accept the science department code*: I am fine. How are you, SIP?
SIP: Good, but, boy, I am sooooo busy.... [goes into long winded soliloquy about all the meetings and activities he is doing this year, in typical martyred teacher fashion. I would list them for you, but I stopped listening immediately after asking my question]
RBR *muttering to copier as it eats my originals*: Motherfucking, piece of shit....
I start repeatedly pressing clear button with more vehemence than is really necessary
SIP: You sure you are ok?
RBR: I am fine. What can I do for you?
I kick copier as it jams and the screen gives me convoluted instructions as to how to make it happy again. "Open door at 'A', slide 'B' to the right, to clear paper passage at 'C', while standing on one leg and reciting the Gettysburg Address in Swahili...."
SIP: As I think you know, I am on the Blah, blah, blah committee, where we sit around pontificate, kiss each other's asses, and never accomplish a fucking thing other than to waste time and try to sound important, ... Well, we have our meetings on Thursdays. I was wondering if you could cover my [insert his laundry list of Thursday night afterhours commitments] the first of which is tonight.
(ok, he did not say all that but he did try to offload THREE commitments in one fell swoop, which is very assholish, IMHO)
Meanwhile the copier refuses to take three of my originals and starts printing tests are missing 3 pages while making a godawful noise.
RBR: GODDAMN IT!
I punch the copier lid hard enough to make the godawful noise worsen.
I start to bang my head on the copier.
RBR *turns to SIP, now looking like I am going to cry*: What? What do you want me to do for you?
SIP: Uh, nothing,but I don't think you are 'ok', though.
I think it is important to note that my personal life has taken a bit of a hit as of late, I was up at my latest weigh in, I am about to start my period, and it is raining today. The later is significant in that California schools do not have enclosed hallways. They are little more than glorified overhangs. Therefore, if it is windy your journey to the main office results in you getting soaked through and the rain plastering your bangs to your forehead giving you the oh-so-hot drown rat appearance. Plus my extra warm fleece is no longer 'extra warm' and smells a bit like wet dog. It is currently 6:45 am. *sigh*
Fine. I am not okay, but at least I do not have any extra Thursday night duties to cover. Being an unstable, hot-head has its advantages.
10 hours ago