Or as I like to call it, The Season of Snot.
Some of you are gasping at the statement, saying "How could you hate the season that brings crisp, clean air, quiet snow covered mornings, and inspires friends and family to gather around a roaring fire and reflect on the beauty of it all?"
It is pretty easy, really.
It is cold, dark, wet, miserable, and I am horridly allergic to winter and all of its climate controlled, indoor living.
For example, if you invite me over for a roaring fire in your home, better make sure the plastic slip covers are in place. I am second only to Saint Bernards in the ability to cover everything as far as the eye can see in a fine patina of mucus.
Reasons I hate winter:
1. I spend the winter with a resting heart rate of 125 bpm from all the decongestants I have to take to be able to breathe out of, at most, one nostril at any given time.
2. I am constantly asked "Are you sick?" If I answer "No, I have allergies," I get the 'you are full of shit' look because everyone assumes allergies are a spring time gig. So I usually answer, "Yes, I have Dengue Fever, but the doctor says I am most likely not contagious anymore." (I substitute the Flu du jour if there is one in the news to induce extra fast fleeing from me. Aside: Hubby sent me that link. Hilarious.)
3. I sleep with Kleenex stuffed up at least one nostril to keep from drowning in the pool of my own snot created by an unobstructed 'down' nostril when I lay on my side.
4. It is cold. [insert eyerolls from East Coast persons]
I live in and love California. Therefore, by definition, I hate weather. Specifically weather that strays outside of the '75 degrees and 0% humidity' zone. Here in California, we avoid weather at all costs, trying to maintain as close to an endotherm level of homeostasis as possible. A couple of degrees + or -, fine. Go beyond that and we start pissing and moaning and stamping our little crunchy granola, hippy feet.
Yesterday it was 36 degrees at 8:30 in the morning. The sun was up for Christ's sake!
*stamps little crunchy granola, hippy foot*
I emailed a friend to bemoan the fact that I had to wear a coat to work. He essentially told me to stop being such a pissy, little bitch.
Umm.... dude, it was not a sweatshirt or fleece, it was an actual COAT!
Ok, I will stop.
5. It gets dark at like 2:30 in the afternoon. (ok, that is a slight exaggeration, but it sure feels that way.)
6. I think my feelings for winter can be summed up by the simple chemical reaction:
RBR + Cold + 2Dark + 5Allergies -----------------> 3Lack of exercise + 4Ass size increase + 3Moody Bitch
I almost can not believe how perfect this picture is, only reconfirming my belief that Google images is powered by God.
The hip is improving and I have set my sights on a few runs: (I am over calling them "races". I am very frequently last. If I am 'racing' I supremely suck at it. )
December 11: Summit Rock 10k (chosen for its uber cute, if not geographically correct, Eagle logo)
January 8: Crystal Springs 11 mile (chosen because Woodside is beautiful and Coastal trail runs have cute t-shirts)
January 29: Coyote Hills 1/2 marathon (chosen because Jo Lynn is doing it and she is adorable!)
March 12: If I get in, Way too Cool 50k (chosen due to beautiful trail and AWESOME frog logo. There is a lottery, so kind of a long shot)