1. Even though you enter the same alarm code into the same key pad every goddamn day to get into your classroom, you stare blankly at the damn thing having become so exhausted that you can not begin to remember how to operate it.
Lots of condescending emails throughout the day about how to use your alarm code and how you should not arrive before 5 am if you are too fucking stupid to operate the alarm
2. Your teenage students suddenly become HILARIOUS. I mean, laughing so hard you are crying, with snot pouring out your nose level HILARIOUS.
"Ummm... are you ok, Ms. R? Should we call the office?"
3. The janitor finds you at 4 pm on Friday afternoon, with your head down on the desk, eyes wide open, yet oddly unresponsive.
"Ummm... are you ok, Ms. R? Should I call the office?"
4. You decide at 3 am to Google people from high school that you would not cross the street to piss on if they were on fire. Yes, this includes my ex-boyfriend. They are all doing AWESOME, by the way.
Super. That is exactly what I was hoping.
5. A burned out light bulb makes you try to choke the lamp and call it names that would make a Hell's Angel blush.
No, SQ, I do not think a lamp can really be a c#*k$ucker. I am just saying...
(you know it is bad when I use symbols)
6. The thought of purchasing a new lamp shade (see #5) is too overwhelming, so you throw out the lamp and sit in the dark.
"Ummm... honey, what happened to the lamp?"
7. You become convinced that insomnia is the purgatory you deserve for your former life as a drug addict, since now you can not take medication to help you sleep.
Sorry, doll, you used up all your sleeping hours passed out. Now you get to be awake FOREVER.
10 hours ago