You know the 40-something year old fat, bald guy that spends the vast majority of his time sitting in his recliner, drinking Pabst blue ribbon, and regaling anyone who will listen about his athletic prowess in the "big game" of 1987 and then goes out and gives himself a fucking heart attack in a touch football game in the park?
I am that guy.
Yesterday I was asked to speak at at meeting that has a little twist. You hike in, have the meeting, and then hike out.
Ok, cool, I like hiking.
Since the gal that asked me to speak knows I run she chose one of their toughest hikes for me to speak at. 9 miles, 1500' of climb
Still ok, I should be fine. It is hiking, right? Not like I am running or anything.
Well, skinny bitch and I show up (so sad that is becoming her moniker here, she really is a wonderful person whom I adore, but she is, in fact, a skinny bitch)
and I get introduced to the group. There has been a bit of an issue with the group and new people showing up that are not fit enough to hike, which makes the entire group have to wait to start the meeting, so I start to get the 3rd degree:
Uppity meeting member: So, RBR, this is your first hike?
RBR: Well, with this group, but I have done some hiking before.
Uppity meeting member #2: 'Some' hiking? You know this is a level 4 hike, don't you?
RBR: I am aware.
SkB (new code for Skinny bitch, it takes some of the sting out of it): Umm, RBR is a runner. She runs marathons and runs trails ALL the time. She will be fine. Back off.
side note: she is a bit protective and quite adorable. See why I love her?
Uppity meeting member #3: Whoa, maybe I won't have to wait too long by myself at the top. *Mr Ed horse laugh*
RBR thinks: Nope, not today asshole.
And with that it was on. Never mind I essentially took 7 months off, gained 20 fucking pounds, and just started to train again, these sons of bitches were not beating me to the top.
Nor did they beat us back, since we ran the whole 4.5 miles back down the trail. SkB may not be speaking to me today, (she was wearing hiking boots, and canvas pants, but is just as stubborn as me and was not going to let my 40 year old ass run back while her 26 year old ass hiked).
But wait! The idiocy gets better.
After I got back from the hike, I immediately went for a ride with LA Run buddy where we averaged 15 mph for 15 miles (for the record, we usually average 13-14 mph on the bike trail dodging baby joggers and geese, but today we were hungry and crabby and wanted to be done)
Oh no, we ain't done yet. When I do 'stupid,' I DO IT UP!
So then today, LA Run buddy and get up and run 10 miles at Baylands. I am hobbling around like I ran a goddamn marathon. Everything fucking hurts.
10 miles in 1:52: 10 (11:12 min/mile)
All I can say is "Ow"
4 hours ago