"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Monday, May 17, 2010

Bad Day. WARNING: Filed under whining

Ms. RBR asks the class: What is the shape of a DNA molecule?

*For reference, the lesson plans of the previous two fucking weeks included, but were not limited to: 3 lectures on DNA structure, a film on DNA structure with note sheet that we went over as a class, and an activity where they built a 3-D model of the fucking thing.

Class shouts out answers: because raising your hand is for squares and when I gently ask them to raise their hands and wait to be called upon no one participates and the room goes mute. In fairness, I usually "gently ask"with a very prominent vein bulging from my forehead and froth forming at the corners of my mouth because goddammit, they learned that particular bit of classroom etiquette in the third goddamn grade. I digress...

Class shouts: hydrogen bonds!

Ms. RBR: No, those help form the shape, what is the shape called?

Class shouts: Covalent bonds!

Ms. RBR: No, those also help form the shape, what is the shape called?

Class: Nucleotides!

Ms. RBR: No, those are part of the molecule, what is the shape called? Guys, this is review! You learned this in 6th grade.

*Reminder: I "teach" sophomores in high school.

Class shouts: Replication!

Ms. RBR: *sigh* You are just shouting out vocabulary words. Someone look it up in your notes.

Class shouts: Mitosis!

Class shouts: cell division!

Ms. RBR (now, banging head on desk): Wrong notes. That is the last chapter.

Some variation of this was repeated for 4 of my 5 classes. What exactly do I DO all day? Clearly, it is not teaching. They are not stupid. (Well, most of them aren't. Let's face it stupid adults come from somewhere.) They just do not care enough to process ANYTHING.

I am too tired to even continue this rant. I do not care enough to process it right now. Apparently that is fine. It must be because I am a kinesthetic, left-brained, red-green visual, auditory learner with processing difficulties. Maybe if my teaching credential professors had explained it with interpretive dance I could complete my diatribe. It is clearly their fault.

What-the fuck-ever.


Today's run - 5 miles, 10:30 min/mile, 47 trail user character assassinations, but only 3 lives were actually threatened:

1. Pick up your dog shit, asshole. Yes, it is my fucking business.
2. Not only is your parked, double wide stroller blocking the trail, your loose and uncontrolled kid is about to get squashed like a fucking toad by
3. an iPod deafened, no helmet wearing, riding 25 mph on the fucking bike trail, asshole.

As you can tell I was a Positive Polly heading into the damn thing, so it was a little doomed from the start.

It was one of those runs that with each step you feel

older,

fatter,

and slower.

My training partner and her perky fucking pony tail bee bopped alongside of me (two strides ahead, of fucking course) chatting away since she "guessed we were running at cruising pace today." *giggle*

Oh, and one last rant about today, Fuck you Jenny Craig. Kiss my fat ass!

I am going to bed. I need a do over.

34 comments:

Neil Z said...

I got into a fight with my JC consultant once... she won.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

What is the shape of a DNA molecule?

I can't answer for the rest of the class, but mine's totally embiggened after reading this classic RBR rant! (DNA is slang for "wiener", right? That's what today's cool kids call it, isn't it?) After that sweet comment you left on my blog I was all, "B*tch? Is that really you?" But here in this post, teh B*tch is definitely back! Woo-Hoo! Funnier than ever!

(Thanks for the nice comment, by the way. You're pretty sweet too. [But I DON'T do *smooches*!])

Hahahahaha! Your experience with your class sounds like me with Ian when I help him with his homework. Except you get that times 30. Also, in the case of me and Ian, I play the role of ignorant class, he the role of frustrated B*tch-teacher. Hahahahahaha!

No, not YET. He's only in 4th grade, so I can still almost keep up. But by 5th, the stuff he'll be learning will be out of my league.

Got any ideas on a parentally responsible way to ensure he gets kept back in 4th so I don't end up looking bad?

Thinking about such things makes my DNA wilt with sadness.

When SteveQ reads this post, I bet you $20 his OCD compels him to correctly answer your opening question, since you never did. The only way he won't, now, is to prove me wrong.

So ... which is stronger? His OCD? Or his desire to prove me wrong? We have the experiment set up with all controls in place ...

OBSERVE.

Carly said...

double helix

Diana said...

Thank God with obviously the way you teach that there are always openings for "greeters" at all WalMart's across the country!

I hated sophmore year, no wonder I smoked pot!

Finally someone with my same feelings to Jenny Craig-that shit will kill you. You buy my plane ticket and I'll come out and cook for you and what the hell kick some of your fat ass (your words, just repeating 'em) into shape with my mean and wicked kettlebells!

lindsay said...

this is exactly why i couldn't be a teacher. that and the fact that i don't know the answer :) ok, hate me too. hope that doesn't make today bad too.

Evolving Through Running said...

Sorry to hear about your frustration at school and on the trail ... but that was a killer post. Work week is off to a very frustrating start, and that was the company my misery needed. Hope things are looking better today for you.

Christi said...

I am so glad that someone can rant and express all my anger for me. You do a great job!

Shelly said...

Oh My! Just found your blog. I wanted to scream out "double helix!!!!" while reading and hoping you could hear me so all the stupid people wouldn't ruin your day. I hope you don't have to teach them the Kreb cycle.

Psyche said...

I googled "kinesthetic+left-brained+red-green visual+auditory learner+processing difficulties".

Google suggest: Did you mean RBR?

SteveQ said...

Oh holy crap I think I'm in love.

And since Carly gave the answer looked for and Glaven needs his $20 to buy hop extract for his liquid pain meds, the correct answer is:

It depends upon whether you're talking about single-strand or double-strand DNA and the temperature and salt concentration.
Generally, a right-hand-twisted double helix is formed in dsDNA in biological conditions, though there will be short segments of left-handed "Z DNA" in silent regions of methylated guanine-rich DNA and the clathrate structures at chromosome termini have their own form like what's known as "B DNA." When condensed around histones to save space, as is usually the case, there are kinks in the DNA that don't quite follow the double-helix structure either.

In single-strand DNA viruses, the DNA often forms a single left-handed spiral because of the proteins folding about it.

Next question, please.

Hey, wake up. Yeah, you in the back. You with the two open Jenny Craig containers; see me after class.

K said...

Your story is why i didn't go into teaching. jeebus. well the world needs starbucks baristas too.

Java Joggers said...

Ok, you win. Your blog is, hands down, my new favorite. Too funny! As a teacher and fellow fat-kneed runner, I can relate. Thanks for the laughs.

SteveQ said...

A photo from the race: http://www.flickr.com/photos/zachpierce/4617409654/in/set-72157623958832161/

Note the guy in orange has just discovered I stole his wallet.

SteveQ said...

And is calling me "Jenny Craig" just your way to entice me to kiss your steatopygian assets?

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

ZOMG!1! I've seen people pass Geek tests before, but SteveQ is the first one who earned extra credit doing so!

It's ironic, isn't it, that the ones who know so much about DNA end up never passing theirs on because NO GIRL WOULD EVER HAVE SEX WITH THEM!1!

Hahahahaha! (You don't count, B*tch, cos I said "girl", not "tranny".)

... the DNA often forms a single left-handed spiral because of the proteins folding about it.

Pffftt! Stupid proteins! You'll always lose at poker to DNA if you keep folding! Call its bluff every once in a while!

RBR said...

@SteveQ: *fans self*

I would weep with joy if a student ever answered that way.

@G: "Got any ideas on a parentally responsible way to ensure he gets kept back in 4th so I don't end up looking bad?"

2 snorter. Nice one, my firend.

Formulaic said...

What's up with the ms. rbr?

Last time I checked that would be a mrs.?

Right?

RockStarTri said...

"Replication" is wrong?

Willie said...

Oh Oh Oh, I know Ms. RBR!!! What is double helix.

What no picture of pony-tail-trail-running partner?

Oh, wait, cheery comment is needed here....

You're great, you're an awesome teacher, you will change lives... blah, blah, blah.

They're just high school kids, don't take it so serious. It's not like they're people or something. Geesh

You know I love you right?

doctorval said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
doctorval said...

Sometimes you're the windshield and sometimes you're the bug. Clearly a bug day. I can't wait to see what today brings me. Monday a mechanic tried to rip me off and I caught him, Tuesday I went in to get a crown re-cemented (it got stuck on a Shotblok) and ended up having the tooth pulled. Came home only to find a client I'd been working with for several months bought a house with someone else. Happy humpday!

Anne said...

Sorry to hear about your crap day...okay, not really, that was too funny. Great way to start the day laughing :) Hope today is better, really.

SteveQ said...

Ooh, Ms. RBR! Ms. RBR!

YO, BITCH!!!

Is this gonna be on the test, cuz I don't wanna learn nothin extra.

Jane said...

I don't know how you do it- teenagers are all crazy.

Regina said...

It is ok to be a pouty muffinhead every once in awhile. That is my Pollyanna way of saying, be the bitch! Cuz we all have days (weeks?) like that. Of course mine don't involve the underdeveloped brains of adolescents. My time will come. I have a 4 year old...I am going to suck every bit of life out the time between now and then, when joy no longer holds any meaning. I have been sucked into your pit of despair, ha!

Roisin said...

Rage ON!!!

hmm114 said...

I can always count on you to have me laughing out loud. It never fails that every time I read one of your posts, it always ends with me yelling to my gf " ha ha ha....listen to this...!" Thank you!!

Southbaygirl said...

Sorry for your shit day-since it's Wednesday now and I'm obviously a fantastic friend because I saw your blog post immediately and commented immediately ( um NOT) I'm just going to hope that the week has gotten better and that maybe you told them to fuck-off, under your breathe!!

Yikes I have a pony tail-should I cut it off before SF??

As for the Nitro race-I would love to but I have a few issues happening here: unemployed and earning zero money is a biggy-I'd come up but I'd have to get a pet sitter for the furry beasts since I have a diabetic cat and now a lymphoma cat who's on so many f-ing homeopathic shit that he's hating it! maybe chemo would have been better for him!

I cant afford an overnight trip up to the bay area right now unless I get some work-no work means no money! I had to cancel a trip to Mexico for my two friends wedding because I haven't worked since GLEE finished. I know whining.....kinda need to stay close to home-my kitty isn't well......

sorry, nitro sounds fun and I'd love to run it with both of you!!!

Jo Lynn said...

You use the trail - it IS your business!

RoadBunner said...

I've given lots of speeches at Rotary clubs. They are super attentive and will rack their brains to ask you a question at the end of your speech so you feel loved.

I gave career day talks at a high school last year. I felt like no one cared about anything I said (have they heard of eye contact?) and barely anyone asked me any questions. My self esteem plummeted 50 points that day. I don't know how you do it.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Hahahahaha! Great comment! But, in point of fact, it was Margaret Thatcher's frigid sister leading them.

I think her name is "Becky".

No wonder Tom Sawyer never got any.

SteveQ said...

I just found MsRader.com's SDAIE Biology page. Among the old photos (so long Ninjin and Winston), there's a classic of RBR on the neighbor's RV! White trash never looked so, uh, what's the word...
RBR-like!

SteveQ said...

Re: comment on my blog - you have childhood memories of Minnesota? It's spooky enough that I was once engaged to a woman from California named Stacey (you'd've hated her. Skinny. Cal-Poly SLO transfer. Real skinny. Artist. Really really absurdly skinny - held together only with hydrogen bonds).

SteveQ said...

btw, given kinesthetic, left-brained, red-green visual, auditory learner with processing difficulties... where are you in the Meyers-Briggs?

(INFP, myself)