"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Friday, April 23, 2010

iRBR - More Hazards of the Technology Age

Well, no small thanks to you super savvy technology types, my boob sweat drenched iPod came back to life! The screen is a little muddled looking, but unlike my teenage students, I do not watch movies on its vast 1.5 inch screen (which is hugely LAME and CANNOT possibly be more interesting than my lecture on protein synthesis!)

After its revival, the next logical step was to take it out for another run even though I had still not purchased a case for it. Don't worry. I did learn from my last time and I did not use a ziploc bag (to be honest, I did not have one) so I used the plastic wrapper from my Kleenex pack.

How could this go wrong?

Scary that my job is to teach children, right?

Fortunately, it survived the 4 mile run boob sweat free and lives to play another day.

Yet another PITA (pain-in-the-ass) Technology moment

My 5 dollar alarm clock of 15 years sadly died about a year ago. Since then I have tried repeatedly to replace my beloved with another of similar value to no avail. All of the replacements were missing some sort of feature that I could not live without (e.g. no snooze feature. Why would they even create such a useless-ass clock? Who gets up the first time their alarm goes off? Well, besides my husband, but I digress...)

My husband was convinced that I was incapable of choosing an appropriate timing device and was sick to death of hearing me fumble around to reset the alarm to get 10 more minutes of sleep, so he went out and bought me a clock.

In typical male, over-the-top fashion, he got some space age alarm clock that was satellite linked for "to-the-second" accuracy. In addition, it also gave the day of the week, the date including month, day, and year, the room temperature in Fahrenheit and Celsius, the lunar cycle for that day, the hemoglobin concentration of orangutans in the San Diego Zoo, ... ok , it does not do that but it gives a shitload of information on the itty bitty screen.

After deciphering the 12 page manual on how to set the goddamn thing, I was ready to roll. I figured surely since this clock could be used to launch the Space Shuttle it would have all the features I wanted.

It seems that it had one extra feature that I was not crazy about.

This features is, apparently, that it will change time zones randomly and then self-link to the satellite to reset the time. It likes to do this around 2 am PST. It took rereading the 12 page manual and additional 3 times to determine that the self-syncing could not be turned off.

As a consequence my alarm that was set for 4 am PST went off at 3 am PST on Tuesday and 1:00 am PST today.

Sadly, I do expect my clocks to display the correct time within one hour. I know, soooo picky. As soon as I realized it was 1 am that it went off this morning I made sure that I needed to get a new clock. I hope crushing it did not trigger the firing of nuclear warhead feature.

I am going to get a fucking rooster next time.

Let's see if Teh G can resist a "cock" reference?

13 comments:

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

First with a cock reference!1!

(BTW, mine's bigger.)

I am going to lunch right now so didn't have time to read this, but I had to be FIRST with the cock reference, anyway.

I'll be back after lunch to make a real comment.

Today's lunch? Cock on a stick.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

(I posted that comment before reading the post to cockblock anyone else from being FIRST!1!)

SECOND with a cock reference!1!

Lisa said...

So odd about the alarm clock reseting the time zone. What is up with that?!?! I think I'd chuck it out to the curb...

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

O, now that I've read this post, I see it's a fucking cock you depict there. Nice. You kiss your mother with that keyboard?

OMG, sister, when I was in high school, we dudes were always trying to get girls to go behind the football bleachers with us and ... uh ... "synthesize our protein", so to speak. So few of them would. Mostly just the whoo-wers.

I loved those whoo-wers. *sniff-sniff*

I hope this series of filthy comments makes up for all the cloyingly saccharine ones I have been leaving lately.

Christi said...

Smash the alarm clock and go get the cock!

Anne said...

Hahaha! I agree a cock is the way to go! :)

Regina said...

I had a similar issue with my alarm clock that died after about 12 years. That was 10 years ago, and I haven't found a replacement yet. Actually, not entirely true. I use my cell phone's alarm clock set to vibrate and it has snooze. I love it.

I usually hit snooze about 8 times before actually getting out of bed.

Nice cock.

Irene said...

LMAO!

Scarlett Elliewood said...

Great blog! Thanks for being so funny!

SteveQ said...

Only one lecture on protein synthesis? I taught an entire semester of it - from tRNA modifications to selenocysteine, beta bundle folding, quaternary complex structure, intron scission... and no one claimed to be late because of their alarm clocks, though boob sweat was a common theme.

Aka Alice said...

Hey, McGuyver! I, for one, am impressed with your ingenuity and cleverness in using available resources as an iPod case.

I'm sure you could open up the alarm clock and fix it with a bobby pin and some duct tape.

LOL at the cock references...all of them

trailturtle said...

Hilarious, RBR & G. Thanks for giving me something to laugh about today :) Happy running, Ann

Keith said...

"Who gets up the first time their alarm goes off? Well, besides my husband, but I digress...)"

Me. Most days I'm awake and have my finger on the button ready to silence it. That even includes the days that Amelia the alarm clock cat decides to let us sleep in. Great improvisation to avoid boob sweat fallout.