My name is RBR and I am an emotional overeater.
Good thing I am too lazy to tag my posts or I am certain I would be horrified to see a visual reminder about how much of my life I devote to this fucking topic.
Food tends to be my go to drug of choice in most situations, but throw in some emotional pain and
Competitive eaters hold on to your trophies and get to practicing your reptilian-like eating, there is a new girl in town and she is gunning for your title.
When I began to notice that small dogs were being trapped in the gravitational pull of my gigantic ass and orbiting me, I decided enough was enough.
Today, I go back to Jenny Craig.
I am sure every one has lots of opinions on this and feel free to voice them, but I will remind you that I am a 40 year old, biology teacher that has been battling her weight her entire life. If I could "eat a balanced diet of whole grains, dark leafy greens, and lean proteins" or "consume less calories than I burn" don't you think that I would have done it already?
I need someone to say "See this little box? That is all you get, fatass. Once you finish licking the tray you are D.O.N.E."
Now, I have failed at every diet you can possibly imagine, INCLUDING Jenny Craig, but JC is the only one I have had some semblance of success at. I know it is not a long term solution, but sometimes I need an intervention to stop the madness and soul crushing upward trajectory on the scale.
I think JC has worked in the past because it gives my addictive, obsessive personality something to focus on and it is my hope to use it to stop the compulsive overeating and get the eating and portions somewhat under control while I work on the emotional side of this.
If you think compulsive overeating means eating two pieces of pie when you only planned one, congratulations, you are probably not a compulsive overeater. If you know it means eating two whole pies, while crying in your car as you hide from everyone you know, dude, I am sorry. *bows head and raises fist in solidarity and empathy*
Wish me luck
In accordance with the rules of this blog I must post something bitchy. So here is a list of shit that pissed me off this week:
1. Dude at fast food restaurant staring up blankly at the list of food choices and asking the 16 year old cashier for culinary recommendations from the menu.
Alien from another fucking planet that has apparently never been to a Burger King: "Do you think the number 8 or the number 10 is better? Which would you get?"
Poor dumbass cashier as he turns to stare at the menu as well: "Uhhh, I don't know... Do you like BBQ sauce?"
Cranky, hungry RBR who is trapped behind this MENSA meeting thinks: "Oh, for fuck's sake, they all taste the same. Pick one, asshole!"
RBR says: *sigh*
2. Woman at the grocery store blocking the entire dairy case while she chooses yogurt, and then acts offended when I reach in front of her.
RBR: Excuse me *grabs cottage cheese*
Fatass Dairy Blocker: *hmpf *You must be in a hurry.
RBR thinks: Well, I considered spending another 10 minutes staring at your mesmerizingly huge ass while you contemplate yogurt flavors, but, I decided to get on with my life. And by the way, nonfat yogurt? Seriously, who are you fooling? *
RBR says: *eye roll* Whatever ( I know I am sooooo witty!)
16 hours ago