17 hours ago
"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."
~ Anonymous (taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)
Sunday, September 28, 2008
That's it! I am getting friends that are less hot
Let me begin with what started this whole rant in my head. My husband decided 2 weeks ago, let me repeat,
2 fucking weeks ago!
that he was going to lose some weight. Not try to lose some weight mind you, he was just going to go ahead and do it.
Yeah, easy peasy.
Today he announces that with infinitesimal changes in his diet he has already lost 8 pounds, let me repeat
8 fucking pounds!
and you can already see the difference in his waist. Last year when I went to Jenny Craig it took me at least a month to lose eight pounds, and no one noticed anything until I had lost 15 pounds which took me about 3 and a half months.
I HATE HIM!
He is 14 years older than me and we look the same age. The checkout girls at Safeway (grocery store) still get all giggly and stupid around him. I, on the other hand, get ma'am-ed to death. Let me repeat,
I HATE HIM!
Now, I appreciate that he is hot. Always have. And I know I married out of my league hotness wise, but it is still irritating.
Ok, back to the needing "less hot" friends rant:
While having lunch with my 25 year old and extremely hot friend (Ladies, want to try out being invisible some time? Hang out with an extremely hot 25 year old. It is awesome! I bet I could steal a car in front of a cop.) I am asked by the former student that is our waitress, "Hey, is this your daughter?"
Yes, I went from pregnant at 13 years old to being your biology teacher. That is how it ALWAYS works out.
But wait it can get worse,
Months later at Jiffy lube, while waiting for my car, after a particularly bad day, my gorgeous, 31 year old, LA Run buddy comes in to bring me a Starbucks. The genius at the counter asks "Hey, is this your daughter?"
Great, now I have to go to jail for shoving a can of 10-40 motor oil up your ass
Then today, after showing pictures of me and 34 year old Jane at the Skyline to Sea trail run to a friend he says, "That is so cool that you got to do that with one of your students!"
I betcha if Jane was a blonde I would have gotten "Hey, is that your daughter?"