"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous
(taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

That's it! I am getting friends that are less hot


Let me begin with what started this whole rant in my head. My husband decided 2 weeks ago, let me repeat,

2 fucking weeks ago!

that he was going to lose some weight. Not try to lose some weight mind you, he was just going to go ahead and do it.

Yeah, easy peasy.

Today he announces that with infinitesimal changes in his diet he has already lost 8 pounds, let me repeat

8 fucking pounds!

and you can already see the difference in his waist. Last year when I went to Jenny Craig it took me at least a month to lose eight pounds, and no one noticed anything until I had lost 15 pounds which took me about 3 and a half months.

I HATE HIM!

He is 14 years older than me and we look the same age. The checkout girls at Safeway (grocery store) still get all giggly and stupid around him. I, on the other hand, get ma'am-ed to death. Let me repeat,

I HATE HIM!

Now, I appreciate that he is hot. Always have. And I know I married out of my league hotness wise, but it is still irritating.


Ok, back to the needing "less hot" friends rant:

While having lunch with my 25 year old and extremely hot friend (Ladies, want to try out being invisible some time? Hang out with an extremely hot 25 year old. It is awesome! I bet I could steal a car in front of a cop.) I am asked by the former student that is our waitress, "Hey, is this your daughter?"

Yes, I went from pregnant at 13 years old to being your biology teacher. That is how it ALWAYS works out.

But wait it can get worse,

Months later at Jiffy lube, while waiting for my car, after a particularly bad day, my gorgeous, 31 year old, LA Run buddy comes in to bring me a Starbucks. The genius at the counter asks "Hey, is this your daughter?"

Great, now I have to go to jail for shoving a can of 10-40 motor oil up your ass

Then today, after showing pictures of me and 34 year old Jane at the Skyline to Sea trail run to a friend he says, "That is so cool that you got to do that with one of your students!"

I betcha if Jane was a blonde I would have gotten "Hey, is that your daughter?"




19 comments:

Southbay Girl said...

sorry...had to laugh! Very funny post!!! But hey news alert-you're a hotty as well!!

AKA Alice said...

Yeah...my husband is like that too...drops weight with no problem... Men...

I always think you look super-adorable in all your photos. I always think...damn, how does she always look so cute when she's running?

Willie said...

I'm going to take this as one of those times when I just shouldn't speak.....

Except that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, yes your husband is hot, but so are you.

Cheryl said...

I just needed to say, when I see you all I think is HOTNESS.
People always say stupid things to avoid the real question....wanna have drinks sometime?

Roisin said...

That is always the way with me! And it's completely not fair.

But...you are hot, so you don't need to worry about your homies!!!

Roo said...

I think the "Is this your daughter?" comment should be treated the same as, "Are you pregnant?" As in, if you're not absolutely sure of the answer, don't ask the question! I would've done the same thing with the motor oil.

cindy said...

I'm cracking up...sorry, but you're so funny.

I'm not hitting on ya, but you're way hot. There's just some stupid people out there.

Oh, and at my race this weekend, we were talkng about what we weigh before our swim, and one girl said...you weigh that much??!! I don't know if she meant I don't look it or GOOD GAWD, that's a lot!! I'm thinking the latter.

ShirleyPerly said...

Yeah, it's not fair. A lot of men can drop weight fairly easily. But I think you ought to just carry around a pair of glasses and hand them to anyone who asks if so-and-so is your daughter, student, whatever. Clearly they need them. You are HOT too!!

Stef said...

Oh Hell girl, look in the mirror. You are a Hottie and you always have the best outfits in races. I always wonder how you manage to look so good racing.

Of course there is also nothing wrong with having friends that are less hot. But you don't need to worry about it cause YOU are HOT (sizzle)(and no I'm not hitting on you).

Erin Leigh said...

Seriously?? What are these people smoking??? You are beautiful and you know it!!

Good for your husband but I am with you, WTH can men lose weight so quickly??

Formulaic said...

That my friend is a GREAT picture!

I was rofl!

Great post!

Tiger Lily said...

I follow so many blogs now that I don't remember who I've commented on or not but just want to say "Chick, you are hot too!" (No, I'm not hitting on you! LOL)

Yea, so not fair that guys lose weight by just THINKING about it! WTF!?!

Jane said...

You are very photogenic in all your pictures. Well, maybe you choose all the good ones to post!
As far as aging, your husband is part Asian, right? Genetics have a huge role in it. Sorry! My grandma is 90, looks 60. Wear lots of sunscreen.

I probably looked so young that day because I felt like crying like a baby most of the time.

RBR said...

Ha! Of course I pick the good ones to post! And I crop the hell out of anything unflattering!

LOL!

Pokey said...

Men just suck when it comes to weight loss.

For the record, I think youre both HAWT!!! :)

Nikemom said...

I think your hotter than your hubby. But I think ALL women who run, bike, and or swim are HOT because we stick our asses out there and take the challenge and that, my friend is HOT! lol

btw - I'm not hitting on you. :D

Kelly said...

I have to agree with everyone else, you are plenty HOT! I also wonder how you always get such great pictures of yourself during races when the rest of us dont even look recognizable :-)

And the whole men and losing weight thing pisses me off too! Formulaic HAS TO (if he wants to stay married) maintain xx lbs above my weight at all times. So if I'm on a PMS binge and gaining he is forced to go along!! Makes me feel better.

Tater said...

You're HOT and you know it ... or if you don't you'll know it soon when you start having hot flashes cause you're so hot ... or maybe cause you're so old! LMAO JKJKJKJK

I am old too to most at 41 but not to myself. I am so not hot to most (except hub who thinks I am hot at any age, weight, level of meanness, etc - God bless him he is delusional but no one give him meds for it)!

I hate the whole ma'am thing. Especially being from and living in the good ole south where we get it even more often. When I did River Cities tri some A-hole sprinted past me and said "Good job ma'am". WTF??? If I could have breathed at the time I would have fixed him good! In my dreams I caught up to him and stomped on his goobers :O).

Thanks 4 the laughs as always.

Not gonna comment on the topic of male weight loss ... a$$wipes! Oops that was only lil comment :o)

Lou said...

#1: Plu-ease... you are hot. I think everyone else already said that though ;).

#2: MM eats about 8 times that of a 200 pound man. He runs, but that's about it. And somehow he is sculpted in a way that makes it SEEM like he spends hours a week pumping iron.

I know. Boo freaking Woo right? The upside is that its all mine :D.