17 hours ago
"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."
~ Anonymous (taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Some Things About Mary
Mary is my friend.
She is also a devoted mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother four times over.
All of her grandchildren, including one with her great-grandchild, have lived with her at one time or another, rent free, while they "got back on their feet."
She is a self-proclaimed enabler, codependent, martyr and savior of every drown trodden, self-destructive, and generally fucked up person she has ever met. Including said grandchildren IMO.
She loves her dogs more than life itself and that is saying a lot because she can teach us all about how to love life. She will tell anyone at anytime to "get off your ass, quit your bitching and moaning, and live the life you were given" while she makes you a sandwich for the road and packs you some homemade muffins.
She is the only septegenarian I know that says "fuck" almost as much as I do. Particularly if you get her talking about George W or people that don't properly take care of their kids or dogs.
She wears make-up everyday and dresses impeccably.
She is beautiful. Not beautiful for 72. Beautiful.
She works full time.
My husband loved her from the first time he met her. That is a big deal. He loves exactly 9 people. He introduced me to her to help her with her crazy ass dog who tried to bite me when I trimmed her nails.
I loved her and her crazy ass dog from the first time I met them. I love more than 9 people, but I am not a huge fan of the species as a whole a lot of the time.
She adopted a another crazy ass dog, Cassie, that I found in a park, that had breast cancer (mammary adenocarcinoma) and was recovering from MAJOR surgery. She did this without reservation, not knowing how long the dog would live, or how much medical care the dog would need, because I was one of the generally fucked up people that she loved and I asked her to.
I gave her free dog nail trims for life for both crazy ass dogs.
It took me 20 minutes to trim her dogs' nails, but I never left her house in under 3 hours. My friend's would laugh when I said "I am just leaving Mary's. I'll be there in 10 minutes." I never got there in under an hour. Most times it was more like 2.
Then 2 months ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She went out that day and bought a wig. She "had a lot of living to do and she was going look good doing it."
She told me that she and Cassie were both going to be breast cancer survivors.
Yesterday, they put a breathing tube in Mary, put her on a ventilator, and told us she was in multi-system failure and would most likely not live through the night.
She was buying new sheets on Monday. She was at work last Wednesday. IT WAS TOO FUCKING FAST.
I am so sad, but I don't want to be. I can hear her saying, "I had a good run. Be sad for the people that chose to waste the time they were given."She was so proud I was doing Barb's Race which is a fundraiser for breast cancer research. I told her "Ah, fuck Barb, I don't know any fucking Barb. This will be Mary's Race to me." Her daughter told me yesterday that she laughed so hard when she told everyone I said that.
I hope she knew. I hope she knew how much she meant to me.
I can't remember what we talked about the last time. Cassie, her dog, no doubt. My trip to Africa. I can't remember what I said. You don't know it will be the last time when you talk to someone the last time.
Yeah, this weekend, sorry Barb, this is Mary's Race.