16 hours ago
"...In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or
brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."
~ Anonymous (taken from Matt Erbele's, It Takes Time to Get Good)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Passive Aggressive Husband Torture
When you are ill, somewhere around Day 4 it becomes your husband's fault.
Hey, boys don't blame me. I don't make the rules.
Today is Day 5 of my current illness. Hubby's world has been a little slice of sunshine for about 24 hours now. Here is a list of mean shit I have done to my husband in the last 24 hours:
1. Made him feel like shit by giving him the accounting of the number of times he has kissed my bitch self since Saturday. (Which was ZERO by the way. You may be wondering how I know the exact accounting and why I was keeping track, if I didn't get to the "it is your fucking fault I feel like shit" phase until 24 hours ago. I am a professional wife. I save this shit up to use at any given time.)
2. Called my mother and told her that I ate a can of green beans for lunch because I had run out of food and my husband wouldn't buy me any. She, of course, called him and he went shopping today.
3. I washed his work coveralls (he is an electrician) for him and then threw a Snuggle Lilac fabric softener sheet in the drier. He will be at work tomorrow smelling like a 70 year old woman at BINGO.
Sorry boys! I'm taken.